Today

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My motions were delayed, my speech stammering. Today was different. It was arguably not my fault, but today, I blamed me. Today I couldn't hold myself together. My fingers outstretched as I walked past you, expecting our fingers to interlace, as they had so many times before. My eyes flickered to yours, only to notice your downwards facing glare. My heart sped up as our bodies brushed past one another, but the way my blood slithered through my veins felt foreign. I held my breath when I thought about you, and I turned away from the mirror when my reflection stared back at me. And my voice croaked as I reminisced about you, but I knew you weren't the same. I know I'm at fault. And I know these are nonsensical ramblings and I know you'll never love me again and maybe never loved me. And the horror fills my heart to think maybe I never loved you. Maybe I loved us. Maybe you did too. Because maybe yesterday, our love resembled something fantastic, and maybe today... It's different.

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