How Did We Get Here // Luke Hemmings & Zayn Malik

Chapter 75: The Hospital

Zayn smashes my face against a pillow and laughs "wake up!" I tell at him "Zayn! Do I ever wake you up like that?!" He laughs "no, why?" I get annoyed and grab my pillow. I hit it his face and then get off the bed. Zayn chuckles "someone's angry today." I get my shirt and throw it to him. He laughs and gets up to hug me. He puts his chin on my shoulder and sighs "can we go see Jess before the appointment? I really need something to cheer me up after." I scoff "well what? Am I not enough?" He groans "of course you are is just munchkin has a really big place in my heart. You can't blame me." I kiss his cheek and agree. He hogs my bathroom, taking his sweet time while I change. I put on my long maxi black dress and look at my self in the mirror. I am so fat. It's not even funny. It looks like I'm carrying a watermelon. I start to cry and take off the dress and sit on my bed sobbing. Then Zayn peaks out of the restroom and sighs "what's wrong?" I quickly get my sheets and cover my body.
Zayn jump on the bed to the side of me and sits next to me. I turn away and rest my head on the bed frame. He softly ceases my arm "why do you get like this? You're not fucking fat Emma! You're not! You are the most gorgeous, sexy, cute, beautiful pregnant person I know. And even if you were fat, who fucken cares... You are beautiful no matter what you look like. I love you any shape or form, I don't care if weighed more than before or whatever, I love you. I love all of you. Even the insecure Emma. God I love your belly and I wish you would let me see it better, not just in doctor visits." He slowly takes the covers away and starts kissing my belly. I sob "what did I do to deserve you?" He looks up at me and smiles "I can say the same about you." I kiss him and he gets off "now come on, put anything you like. We gotta go soon."
I slowly get up and twist the mirror over. I grab my dress and put it on. I get my sandals and slip them on.
After a few minutes we go down stairs and he makes my green juice. I serve him his cereal. We hurry up and leave.
Zayn parks and he starts breathing heavy, resting his forehead on the wheel "I don't think I could do this Emma. I don't think I could see her that way." I gently ease his arm and sigh "you think she could endure her pain? Be strong for her Zayn. She wants to see you. You have to do it for her." He looks at me and gets off. I get off and hold his hand. We enter the hospital and walk over to her room.
Zayn was trembling under his breath. I kiss his hand and let him go. He slowly walks into the room and I could hear everyone greeting him.
I rub my arms and sit in the cold waiting room. My eyes start wandering around and they find themselves staring at the other side of the hall. In the floor there was a action figure abandon. I slowly get up and take my time to walk over there. I look down at it and see a beat up superman. Some poor kid must've lost it. I bend and hold my belly up while the other reaches the toy. I look at it and feel weird. I walk over to the nurses desks and place my hands on the counter "excuse me? I fou..." I was cut off by a man behind me "oh you found superman." I turn to see a tall man with a scruff beard and blue eyes. He was wearing a blue and green flannel. Then his hand extended out to a child in a white robe. A child that was about four years old. The child was so tiny and fragile. Skinny and sick. His hair had been completely removed everywhere. I take a moment and breath quickly.
I smile and sigh "yeah, I found this in the hall." The child reaches out "thank you miss for saving my toy." I lean closer to the boy and hand him the toy "here you go little guy." The boy gently takes it and walks over to a empty seat and starts playing. He looks at his son then back to me "I'm Mason." He extends his hand out to me. I smile "I'm Emma. Nice to meet you." And shake his hand. He wipes his chin and sighs "when we noticed that Gregory couldn't find his toy, I really thought That was the end of superman." I grin a bit "he loves that toy?" He looks at me and chuckles "more than that. It's his companion. It goes with him everywhere. Every surgery to chemo therapy since he was two." I hiccup a gasp and cover my heart "since he was two!" He sighs and looks back at the boy "well he got that toy when he was two. He's had bone cancer since he was born. Gregory's now six and still battling." I gasp and begin to shed tears "he's six?!" He starts to tremble a bit "my boy is gonna turn seven in six months. He's never really been outside the hospital. He was born with stage three. We try and do everything we can but the cancer keeps coming back." I cover my mouth and see that little bundle of joy, watching him play like a normal boy. That little boy has suffered pain that I can't imagine at such an early age. He has been tough to endure all those years of torture to his body. I can only imagine what that little boy thinks.
After the chat, they left back to his room. He held superman close to his heart while holding his dad's hand. I slowly sit down on the chair.
I can't imagine what the boy must be going through. He's literally dying faster but at the same time slower. Such a little boy. And to think of what his parents may feel at this time. They're probably just constantly praying to God to save their child. God if I were them, if munchkin was born dying, God I would fall on my knees and and completely be overwhelmed that my child doesn't have the opportunities like I did. And here I was complaining about how hard my life has been to me when clearly there are others who have it 100 times worse.
Zayn came out 30 minutes later. He close the door behind him and broke down in tears. I get up and hug him. He drops his body weight on top of me, burying his head in my neck. I could feel his painful breaths and cold tears. His chest kept popping up and down, trying to control his breathing. Suddenly the door opens again and Perrie stands in front of me. I grin and pay his back. He lifts up and turns to her. She breaks down in tears too and they hug each other, crying. I awkwardly back away and look down and wait for them. She sighs, cleaning her cheeks with her sleeve "thank you so much for coming Zayn." He smiles "I'm glad you called me. Thank you." They hug for one last time and we walk away hand in hand.
We walk to the other side of the hospital and the nurse takes us into the room. I sit on the cold bed and look at Zayn "Babe? You okay?" He smiles and kisses my hand "yeah." Then I begin to cry. He looks at me confused "what?! What happened?!" I close my eyes and try to breathe "Zayn, I saw a six year old with cancer. He was born with it. I'm scared that our baby is gonna be like that. I haven't taken those types of test and I'm scared that if we do that..." He cuts me off, patting my hair "Emma. don't worry about that." I scoff "how can I not worry Zayn! Our child will never have a normal childhood." Zayn looks into my eyes "no one has a normal childhood Emma. That doesn't exists. Just look at us. And what if it does, it doesn't change a thing." I sneer "it changes everything Zayn! Just look! Look at us! We can't afford such treatment plans and I know we still won't even afford home schooling or toys for the baby. And I know I would be devastated! My heart breaking every time I see our child suffering. I wouldn't be able to bare it Zayn! I won't!" He kisses my forehead and grips my hand strong. Then the Jane rushed in "Emma?" I wipe the tears and smile "hello Jane." She frowns "what's going on?" I sigh "I was talking with Zayn about getting blood test from the baby." She looks confused "why?" I look down at my belly "I want to be cautious and have a head start." She sighs "Well normally I would encourage women with history of such things but I guess no one could be too careful." I close my eyes. I lay down and let her splatter the blue gel on me. We watch and see our munchkin bigger. Then she exits the room and the nurse makes me sign forms for the procedure. After everything is signed, another doctor comes in with Jane. She was the expert of this procedure. Basically what they're doing to me is inserting a larger needle in my belly and into the baby's arm. I stare at the needle and begin to regret my decision. I hold Zayn hand firmly and close my eyes. Suddenly I feel an extreme pinch in my belly that burns. I moan a bit and squeeze my eyes shut. After a while, the doctor sighs and proclaims she's finished. She told us they would inform us this week if they saw any abnormality and if they didn't contact right away then there was nothing to worry.

I think during that week, I would die of desperation and anxiety of wanting to know.