The Side Affects

Chapter Forty Three

-Christine's POV-

I didn't hesitate to pack everything I had and give William one of the cuddliest goodbye's I could before I left the apartment. Ignoring Niall was easy as he wasn't anywhere in sight. I didn't know if he had left again or he had hidden himself away from me –from us-.

Harry and I were now in the plane, the airport was pretty scarce today thankfully. A few paps were there, questioning me about last night. I didn't answer; I couldn't answer. What was I supposed to say? That I was devastated? Heartbroken? I thought that would have been obvious.

There was a slight problem though and that was that Harry had paid for the tickets. Not only was he stuck with somebody who was a complete mess right now, but he was buying me everything. He wouldn't let me pay for food or tickets or anything; I felt so cheap and using. I didn't want to feel that on top of everything else today.

But luckily we weren't flying business class so it wasn't anything expensive.

Harry sat beside me as I sat on the window seat, trying to hide away from the rest of the world. His hand was firmly locked with mine as his thumb rubbed over my knuckles. I remember when Niall used to do that for me.

Just the name had my eyes jerk tears though I forced them back down again. I'm not going to cry in a public place; nobody needs to know that I'm vulnerable right now. Especially media and fans; because they'll somehow make this out to be my fault. I know how it goes. Niall is the perfect father that can do no wrong and if he is seen with a girl or seen breaking up with a girl then it's automatically her fault; no matter what's she's done.

I'm over this bullshit. Bullshit of meaning nothing to people. Chris treated me like shit and it seems Niall wasn't too far off either. I just don't mean much to anybody. Not my family. Not Niall; not Chris. Nobody.

"Hey," Harry squeezed my hand and I looked over as he buckled himself in, "plane's taking off." Nodding, I pulled the seatbelt over me and quietly looked out the window again to watch us slowly come up the runway.

I wasn't in the mood to talk for a while. I wasn't in the mood to be seen by paparazzi or to voice something that people clearly don't care about. I just wasn't in the mood to exist and that's that.

. . .

Harry had pulled up the barrier between us ages ago and had me relax on him. He wanted to make sure that I was ok and he felt the best way to do that was by having me in his arms. My head lay on his chest as I stared blankly at the seat in front of us. The British boy's hand would rub up and down my back as he would turn his head to look down at me every so often.

I wasn't hungry or thirsty and I didn't need somebody to pretend it was ok and try to enlighten the mood. This depressed feeling inside me prevented me from doing anything provocative like telling Harry I was ok and pretending that everything was ok. All I wanted was to curl up and die in a hole.

"Love?" Harry whispered and grasped his hand around me as I nodded my head, not tearing my gaze away. "Please talk to me. I want to talk to you." Nudging me up, I slumped back into my seat and looked up at Harry as he frowned down at me. "Don't be so down love," He cupped my face and kissed my forehead, something he has become accustomed to now, "this is a blessing in disguise."

"How?" I whispered for the first time in nearly ten hours. "I'm not good enough Harry."

"You are more than good enough." He pulled me in for a hug as my arms just hung beside me. My eyes stung like they wanted to cry again but I think that I had done enough crying for now. "You're perfect Christine. Niall was the one that fucked up, not you." Shrugging weakly, I fell limp in his hold as Harry turned his head down beside mine. "If you want, you can come stay with me for a while."

I couldn't do that; drag my sorry ass problems into Harry's life. He doesn't deserve to have a mopping mess around his house and I don't want to intrude him of his happiness.

"Hey," Harry tried catching my attention again, "the boys and I are going to Ireland soon to perform some final shows. You should come." This would be any fans dream of these boys. To have Harry Styles invite them with him to do some concerts in Ireland would be a dream. But he's a close friend and my main priority –like I said- is my family right now.

So I took a hold of his head and leant it down so our foreheads touched; his eyes closed as he softly rubbed my arms.

"No thank you..." I whispered and Harry just stared at me in silence; me letting him as I let myself expose vulnerability. He's seen me cry enough times hasn't he? Maybe too much times.