IF IT WASN'T FOR HIM

chapter 19

***before ya read this I just want to make a few changes and it's that Amanda was actually 17.

Nick's P.O.V

"Who were you talking about when you said I was just like her?"she asked

Oh geez.

I knew I wasn't supposed to say that.

I knew she would ask.

Should I tell her I was talking about Cassandra?

I really don't want to talk about Cassandra right now.

"Nick?" She said again waking me from my thoughts.

"Um yeah...I'm really sorry for saying that. You're not like her even a bit."I said hoping she would just say okay and leave it.

"Okay, but who's she?" She asked.

Oh God.

I took her hand in mine and led her to the backyard where we sat on the bench.

I just decided to tell her everything.

"I was talking about Cassandra. I remember you asked about her once. She was my first and last girlfriend til I met you. Everything was perfectly fine. We were so happy together but what I didn't know was that she was mentally challenged. Her real name was Mia. She escaped from the mental institution like years before we meant. When I found out I put her back to the mental institution. I never told anyone else except my family and now....you."I said.

She hugged me. I guess she felt sorry for me but I was perfectly fine now.

"Are you okay?" She asked "What if she comes back?"

"Of course I'm okay, I have you now. And don't worry she won't come back." I said cuping her face with my hands.

"Do you know which mental institution she's in?" She asked.

"No. But that doesn't matter. Let's just forget about her." I answered.

"Yeah."she said.

Oh god I almost forgot. I have to tell her.

Amanda's P.O.V

"Um....Amanda there's something I have to tell you but please don't get sad."he said making me worried.

"Just tell me." I said

"Well you know how you moved here and I did my best to leave with it" I nodded "Well I was applying to go for music studies and I got accepted. I really didn't think I would be accepted. The problem is that the school is in London. It's a boarding school." He said.

I couldn't think of life without him. I hate long distance relationships. It just won't work out. I'm really happy for him but it won't be the same without seeing him for like a year.

"Last time that I heard you sing in the music room at school, I sort of recorded it cause I loved it so I also sent it to the school and believe me.....you got accepted."he said smiling.

OMG I can't believe it. That means we'll go together. But my family will be here. I've never been away from them. But that's another thing. They have Jason now. They won't be alone. I know he'll take care of them.

"Say something" Nick said.

"I don't know what to say. I just can't believe it. If we go together that will be perfect. I'm totally accepting. I just need to tell my parents." I said.

"He smiled. This will be great."

**********

We were all sitting together at dinner. I was thinking about how I should tell them about me leaving.

"Uh.....mom?"I said

"Yes honey."she said smiling.

Ever since Jason became part of our life, I've always seen mom smiling. I'm very happy she's happy.

"You know how I've always loved music,"she nodded "well I got accepted to a music boarding school in London." I said.

Her smile sort of faded "wow, I'm very happy for you but you'll be all alone and you've never been far away from us." She said.

"I won't be alone, Nick's going too. We'll be together." I said

"Oh I get it. Nick is going and you want to go to. Honey I know you don't want to be away from him but is this what you want?" Dad asked.

"And wait London as in England." Kate said.

Oh yeah, it's England. Where everything went wrong. Where I lost dad.

And is this what I want? Music?

Oh who am I kidding, of course it's what I want. I love music.

But what if I meet dad or should I say that waste of oxygen.

"Yeah I'm preety sure it's what I want, I love music and as for the place being England, I'm preety sure he's not there anymore. He was only there for his job and I'm damn sure he got fired or something." I said trying to calm down the situation.

"Honey you've been so helpful over all these years and I won't forget that so I can't and won't hold you back from your dreams. I agree with you going as long as you'll never loose contact with us."mom said.

I smiled and nodded in response.

"Dad?" I asked looking at dad who seemed to be still hesitating.

"I guess your mom is right." He said.

Oh my god thanks a lot. I won't disappoint you.

******

I was sitting in my room thinking about what I should pack first. We were leaving next week. I had already told Nick that it was official that I would come with him and he was just as happy as I am.

There was a knock on my door.

"Come in." I said.

It was Katey.

"Are you really going to leave me Amanda?" She asked. I could see she was sad.

"I don't want to leave you but I promise I'll visit on holidays. We'll always be close no matter how long the distance is. I'll call and text as often as I can. We'll never loose our bond and that, I can promise you." I said.

She hugged me "I believe you and I guess you're right. Now let me help you pack." She said. She turned at looked at my table.

"Oh my gosh Amanda, you still have that?" She asked pointing to her treasure chest. The one she gave me.

"Darn right I do. It is the first thing I packed when we moved here and it still is the first thing I'm going good to pack right now." I said taking it and putting it on the bag.

"I don't know where I would be without you Amanda." She said.
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