If it weren't for youtube- Joe Sugg (EDITING)

Chapter Thirty-Seven

CHLOES POV

When Josh woke up, I can't even explain how I felt. It was like I literally felt a weight being lifted from my shoulders, like I was 9 and it was finally my birthday, I felt like the luckiest and happiest person in the world.

Josh fell asleep a few minutes ago and Mason had to go so it was just me and Joe in the hospital room.

"So I guess this means you can go tomorrow?" I said to him, slightly disappointed knowing that he would probably leave and I wouldn't because I have to make sure Josh remains stable.

"not unless your going" he said smiling.

"I uh- what?" I replied very confused

"Are you going?" he said

"I don't think so I mean Josh still isn't doing very well, and what if something happ-" I started but Joe cut me off.

"Then I'm not going, I'm only leaving this country if you're sitting next to me on the plane" he said stubbornly

"are you sure? I mean don't you want to see you family and friends back at home?" 

"Chloe, please I can survive without my family for a little while longer, I am a big boy and I brought my only friends with me" he joked, I knew he was joking because clearly he has more than two friends.

"if you say so" I shrugged

"I do say so" he finished and walked over to me grabbed my hand pulled me up so I was standing facing towards him our bodies only centimetres apart. 

He slowly connected his lips to mine, they moved in sync, as they always do. 

"I'm so lucky to have you" I said pulling out of the kiss.

"and vice versa" he added and smiled, sitting down where I was sitting, grabbing my waist and pulling me onto his lap.

We just sat there, he ran his hands along my back soothingly. Every second breath was a yawn for me, I was exhausted. 

"You should get some sleep" Joe said, obviously noticing my tiredness, I nodded. 

"I should, but I don't know if I can" I said maintaining my glare at Josh hands which were placed neatly on his chest slowly rising and falling as he took deep breaths in and out.

"Why not?" Joe asked

I sighed, I didn't really want to tell him why. But I was going to, I knew I had to he wouldn't give up until he got the right answer so there was no point in fore-playing. 

"Every time I try and sleep I get nightmares" I mumbled, but I knew he heard me because he whipped his head around and looked at me.

He lifted me up and placed me on just one knee so that he could look at me without craning his neck.

"What about?" he asked, knitting his eyebrows together. I took a big gulp and filled my lungs with air before telling him.

"J-Josh doesn't make it" I said, looking at the ground and playing with my hands.

Joe's eyebrows were still furrowed.

"Why do you say that like it's embarrassing?" he asked, "it is" I replied

"why?" he repeated, 

"because I'm meant to be an athlete, I'm meant to be strong and brave and not have nightmares. Do you think Usain Blot has nightmares? No" I said, tears slowly dripping down my face.

He sighed and pulled me into a hug. He smelled like coffee and cologne, not the best mix.

"Baby, your allowed to be upset. In this hospital room you aren't an athlete your a sister. A great, fantastic, amazing, beautiful older sister who loves her brother and is worried that something bad might happen and that's okay, it is perfectly rational ad normal to be upset in this situation and your handling it better than most people would" He assured me.

His words made me smile, I guess he was right. I had to drop the athlete thing and just be a sister, and a girlfriend. 

"And a girlfriend to the most amazing man I have ever met and who I actually think is my guardian angel. A girlfriend to the most attractive, caring, funny and stubborn guy I know." I added, he was smiling as much as I was.

We both have this weird effect on each other, it's like no matter what we're doing together we just can't help but smile in each other's presence. I can feel something, something I didn't feel with Owen or Cameron. Something special, something I wanted to remain.