SAFE (mxm)

Chapter 61. Fruitcake (David)

   (Present time)

   My phone is ringing persistently and I really don't like it. What time is it? I usually wake up early, although, I do not always get up immediately, especially when I've worked until the early hours. There is no way this could be anyone but Sarah. She must be anxious about how my second date with Ryo went. It is true that it started in the worst way possible, but ended perfectly. Couldn't be better. She has nothing to worry about. I hesitate for a moment, but decide to pick up because I know her too well. She won't give up. I carefully examine the nightstand with a hand, without opening my eyes, until I get a grip on the phone and raise only one eyelid, not more than a millimeter, just enough to spot the glowing, green receiver.

   "Cazzo! Che paura mi hai fatto! (Fuck! You scared the shit out of me!)" a man screams in my ear, immediately startling me wide awake. "Figlio di puttana! Cosa diavolo stai facendo alle nove del mattino? Perché non rispondi al telefono? Pensavo fossi morto, stupido! Quel bell'uomo ti ha fottuto il cervello, ragazzo? (Son of a bitch!  What the hell are you doing at nine in the morning? Why aren't you picking up the phone? I thought you were dead, idiot! Did that handsome man fuck your brains out, boy?)

   I snort. There's no doubt who this is. And the phone is obviously not mine. Ryo's friend takes only a brief moment to catch his breath and the rant goes on with unabated fervor. Maybe, I should stop him and introduce myself, but this is too much fun to end so quickly. Did I just fabricate a prank? Wow! I am a brand new person.

   "You didn't come home last evening and I was slightly concerned." Luca is as dramatic as possible with all changes of intonation, huffing and puffing, and so on. I'm pretty sure he's waving his arms as well. "You never stay the night, no matter how much you fancy the guy. I thought you got in some kind of an accident. Don't get me wrong, Ryo. Your crush is a good-looking fellow, way above the norm, I admit, but.. Diciamo pane al pane e vino al vino. (Let's call a spade a spade)... Oh, boy! Is he as nutty as a fruitcake! You got almost hit by a car before that date had even started. Don't be surprised that I was freaked out when I woke up this morning and there was no trace of you..."

   Now I can barely hold back the laughter, pressing my hand to my mouth to postpone as much as possible the moment when I will inevitably reveal myself. 'As nutty as a fruitcake'. I actually like the guy. He has no filter and is downright hilarious. I can see why Ryo calls him his best friend. There is a deep concern behind all this spectacular display. Luca's vibrant personality has an undeniable charm.

   "Ma perchè stai zitto? (Why are you so quiet?)" he starts losing patience. "Sputa il rospo! (Spit the toad / Speak up!) You don't have a dick in your mouth, do you?"

   "Nope," I crack up. "Not anymore."

   "Madonna santa!" the man shrieks in astonishment. "Ryo?... It's not Ryo, is it?... Ugh... Sono proprio un coglione (I'm such an asshole)... Fuck me!"

   "No, thank you," I reply politely. The silence that follows is short because I simply can't stop laughing.

   "Meno male che ho detto quasi tutto in Italiano (Good thing I said most of it in Italian)," Luca mutters under his breath.

   "Farsene un baffo (Don't sweat on it)," I grin. "Sei tutto pepe. (You're a pretty fun person). Nice to meet you, Luca. It seems Ryo's phone has the same ring tone as mine. I didn't even look before taking the call."

   "Huh? Oh... Accidenti (Damn it)!... I'm sorry," he stutters. "Ryo mentioned something about you speaking fifty languages... umm... I didn't mean... about what I said... I apologize."

   "Fifteen," I correct him. "It's ok. I know I wasn't at my best yesterday. But there's no need to worry about your friend. I just woke up and don't really know where he is right now, but he's more than fine and probably making breakfast. That at least is what he promised last night."

   "Breakfast?" Luca bellows. "Ryo? You must be some kind of wizard. Ascolta, angioletto mio (Listen, my little angel), can I ask you a question?"

   "Sure." I make myself comfortable among the pillows which smell of Ryo and pure happiness. I'm enjoying this conversation with a complete stranger and the fact utterly amazes me. It is even more baffling that I somehow feel I and Luca can become friends. How crazy is that? My hands are not shaking. I am not sweating. My breath is calm and I speak freely. The world no longer seems hostile and I eagerly agreed to talk more to someone I had seen only once. All of this would have been unthinkable two weeks ago. I am too curious, though, to muse on these unexplainable circumstances, so I encourage him, "Shoot! What do you want to know?"

   "Um, the red haired tigress... Mamma mia! What a woman," he sighs dreamily. "You don't come across girls like her often. I know we didn't start well. She probably hates my guts. Me and my huge mouth. My heart is bleeding for my favorite Gucci sunglasses, but... Do you think I have a chance?"

   "At this point the answer is no," I tell him honestly. "Sarah has a prejudice against a certain type of men, to which you definitely fall. I mean attractive, self-confident, patronizing, rich... and you managed to rub her up all the wrong ways. I don't know. Maybe, with some help... by someone who knows her well..."

   "You're gonna help me?" Luca squeals enthusiastically. "Wait! Why do I sense a catch? You're a smart guy, Angelo, and a businessman too. This won't be for free. Am I right? If you managed to change Ryo so much in such a short time, I'll be a piece of cake for you... But my pretty lady is worth it. Aaah, Sarah. Che bel nome (What a beautiful name)! Tell me the price."

   "I'm not that calculating," I chuckle. "But I'd appreciate a little favor, if you don't mind."

   "As long as it won't hurt my boy Ryo, I'm in," he instantly agrees. "How about a double date? Oh, I've got something better. How about a trip to il mio castello in Emilia Romagna o il mio palazzo a Genova (my castle in Emilia Romagna or my palace in Genova)?

   "Hurt?" I bellow. "What do you think of me? I am in love with my boyfriend. I only want to make him happy. And you should slow down a bit. None of those is happening any time soon. Just leave it to me."

   "Fine, Fine," he grumbles. "I got a little carried away. Boyfriend, huh? Miracles never end today. So, what is the favor that you want in return?"

   "I'll let you know when the time comes," I answer vaguely.

   "Is that my phone?" I hear Ryo's amused voice, coming from the door. "Chikushō (Damn it)! Please, tell me you're not talking to Luca."

   "I'm so sorry," I mutter.  "I picked by accident and..."

   "Lucaaa," Ryo yells. "I forbid you to talk to my Angel! Baby, throw some holly water on that phone before it burns your fingers."

   "Asino (Donkey)!" Luca shouts back and immediately hangs up.

   "He was worried about you," I glare at Ryo reproachfully, but quickly forget about my intention to scold him when my gaze falls on the a food-laden tray in his hands. "Oh, my God! How long have you been cooking? What are those?"

   "I woke up at seven and thought I'd better start the breakfast instead of waking you up," he grins. "I really don't know how to stay still when I'm not sleepy. We have coffee, fresh-squeezed orange juice, oat bread sandwiches with smoked salmon and lettuce and..."

   He makes a dramatic pause and looks at me triumphantly, "My masterpiece, gluten-free fruit cake."

   I burst into rapturous laughter.

___________________________________

A/N

Hello everyone at the end of chapter 61.

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Does Luca have any chance with Sarah? 

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Love: Anny