SAFE (mxm)

Chapter 29. Back to Normal (David)

   [trigger warning - heavy scenes and extreme anxiety description]

   (Present time)

   I am still stark naked an hour later, curled into a tight ball in the corner, compulsively counting. It keeps my brain occupied enough to prevent my thoughts from going into the wrong direction. Fragments of the events from the last twenty four hours are flushing through my mind like glowing electrical sparks, but I quickly focus on the numbers I am quietly chanting to stop the pain.

   Two deep, dark eyes are staring at me. I am lost in them. They promise heaven and hell. I see them for the first time, and yet something about the way they are looking at me seems familiar, as if I have been waiting to see them again my whole life... two hundred and four, two hundred and five, two hundred and six...

   "Ryo. My name is Ryo." His lips are hypnotizing while he pronounces the words. I am dying to feel them on mine. The most seductive mouth. Beautiful... three hundred and fifty, three hundred and fifty-one, three hundred and fifty-two...

   "You are so special, Angel san. I will give you everything. I adore your Apollo dimples." I am obsessed with his hands, the way they move on my skin, as if discovering a treasure, as if I really mean something to him... four hundred and twenty-seven, four hundred and twenty-eight, four hundred and twenty-nine...

   An empty room, a painting on the wall, curtains, flapping in the wind... I am not safe anymore. He is gone. The world is crushing my shoulders. I am like that boat on the drawing, lost at see, alone, in danger... five hundred, five hundred and one, five hundred and two...

   I poke my chest with a finger and flush my best smile. "My name is David. What is yours? I like your hair." The boy is staring at me. He clearly does not understand. I take a hesitant step towards him. He turns around and runs away, giggling loudly, before I can say anything else. There are too many people around the pool. I can't follow him, but I am not worried. I will try again later. We run into each other every day, in the restaurant, during animation, in the shopping area. His eyes always follow me... What is this? My brain is playing tricks on me again. Who is he? I am going insane... six hundred and thirty-three, six hundred and thirty-four, six hundred and thirty-five...

   I feel the tears, streaming down my face. I need to go home. How crazy I must have been to think I could pull this off. The sudden onset of nausea makes my whole body shudder. I breathe in deeply... seven hundred and eighty-seven, seven hundred and eighty-eight, seven hundred and eighty-nine...

   I hear hurried footsteps approaching. I know them. Sarah's way of walking can never be mistaken. She storms in the room the next second and immediately kneels next to me, carefully placing a cold hand on my back. I am instantly filled with utter relief and gratitude. She has always been my anchor, the safe place in my troubled existence. I crawl closer and lean my head on her lap, mumbling, "I am so sorry Boo-Boo. I messed everything up again. I shouldn't have come here."

   "Shh," she starts stroking gently my hair. "Did you make it to one thousand?"

   "No," I sniffle. "Just to seven hundred and ninety."

   "Good," she laughs quietly. "You count faster when you are really stressed, so it wasn't that bad. Do you feel sick?"

   "Just a little," I answer and open obediently my mouth for her to put an eucalyptus menthol candy in it. 

   "Better?" she smiles.

   "Mhm," I nod and sigh deeply. This is normal, her perfume, the soothing fingers, brushing through my hair, the flavor in my mouth. I am going back to my old self. I only have to gather all my strength and leave this place. The past night seems more and more distant, like a dream that never actually happened. I will not ask for Lea's services again. No more dates. I need to be in my sunny living room and water Anthony. Spending time with a plant is much safer than meeting strangers. I remember my ruined clothes and whine, "Boo-Boo, I can't put on my suit again. I have nothing to wear."

   "Davy, for heaven's sake!" she huffs. "I've brought you a clean one and everything else, also your pills. Come on! Get up! Enough rolling on the cold floor. Take a shower and let's go home."

   I reluctantly hold out my hands for her to help me stand up on my feet. My muscles are stiff. I feel subtle pain and throbbing in places that I rather not think about. I am sad, so sad that all I want is to hide in my own bed and cry my heart out.

   "Dearest God!" Sarah suddenly yelps, grabbing my hands. "What is this? Davy, what did that man do to you? Oh, my God!"

   I follow her terrified gaze. She is staring at my bruised wrists. The skin is quite red and slightly swollen.

   "Did he force himself on you? Oh, no, no, no! What have I done!" Her face is as white as a sheet. "Baby, did he tie you up? I am calling Lea. No, I am calling the police. I'll bring hell upon that wretched club. Oh, my God! Are you ok? Are you hurt? Shall we go to the hospital?"

   "No!" I grip her by the shoulders and shake a little to stop her from panicking. "I am fine, Sarah. Yes, he tied me, but it was consensual. I am fine. He was... he was amazing... I mean... he was... is... perfect. I just freaked out when I found myself alone in the morning, because it seemed... he said... it was more than... sex."

   "Oh, Davy," her face softens. She squeezes me in a tight embrace. "You have fallen for him, haven't you? Baby, I am so sorry."

   "Let's not talk about it now, please," I mutter in her shoulder. "I really want to get out of here."

   "Yes, yes, right," she agrees. "Everything will be alright."

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A/N

Hello everyone at the end of chapter 29.

Thank you for reading and supporting! ❤❤❤

Sarah seems to know David really well.

Do you think she also knows something that she's not telling him about his past?

Are you angry at Ryo for disappearing this way?

Share your thoughts, ask questions and criticize, if you feel like.

And don't forget to vote, if you liked the chapter.

Thank you!

Love: Anny