𝙀𝙣𝙝𝙮𝙥𝙚𝙣 𝙄𝙢𝙖𝙜𝙞𝙣𝙚𝙨 ☘

« Jake »

Hi hello if u're feelin quirky 2nite you might also wanna read my new bull entitled "Recreant" (a yjw ff)

Genre: love scars takot na 'kong masugatan

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Prompt: academic rivals

There is no funnier jape than trying with all your flesh and bone to do so much into something you should be good at and failing in the process. 

"And for the top student of the class..." The teacher uttered, making the wait longer by gazing intently at the paper he was holding. "We have..." There was a long moment of tension before everyone could ever release their breath, as if they were in a game that costed their own lives. 

"Shim Jaeyun!"

Everyone persisted with their praise and immediately commended Jake as he only remained on his seat, smiling from ear to ear, seizing that moment of glory.

He might have taken a glance at his best friend, y/n, but she never dared to keep her gaze and turned her head to her notes, pretending to write something important.

She was upset. She couldn't handle the noise, really. It should have been her. She once allowed that boy to rise high enough he could easily hang his head low just to take a look at her, and she could do so much as to be genuinely happy for his ascent, but now, she would do no such thing. This was the first time she ever stopped clapping her hands for that boy.

A lie, it would seem... To tell herself that she did a lot just to stride that far. She shouldn't have thought about settling for the next spot after the best. It was a crime. It was not what a part of her was screaming for.

Y/n secretly clenched her fists on her skirt. She knew she was not supposed to feel that way, most especially because the person she was highly jealous of was her own bestfriend. Or so he used to be.

She never knew exactly where everything went wrong. Y/n was not much of a troubled lady before. Of course they were best friends and used to study together and laugh at each other's jests, back when all this was not a game to her yet. She never knew exactly when she decided she wanted to grow apart from Jake, but, God. She could never forget that day. That particular day the teachers decided he was the better delegate for an interschool competition. What raised him from the mires left her sitting on the corner of the council table in defeat.

That day has undressed her from the merit she had spent half of her life trying to claim. Then, everything just happened. The envy, the rivalry, the denial. She had grown to love the art of them, even to the extent of her pursuit of validation becoming just as vain as she was.

"Y/n," Jake met her at the hallway. "Do you want to join the study group at the library later?" He asked eagerly.

Y/n, occupied with piling her things inside her locker, plainly shook her head. "I'm on for my research tonight. Alone."

Jake nodded, trying to understand. "Well, if you change your mind, I'll be glad."

"You don't have to be." She said, "I'm still staying at home tonight." There, she turned to face him with her usual smug stare.

His eyes widened upon seeing the black spots under her eyes and her pale, chapped lips. And in just a few seconds of looking at her, puzzled, small drops of blood streamed from her nose.

"Y/nnie!" Jake panted, quickly grasping y/n's shoulders. "You're bleeding!"

Y/n's brows furrowed as she swiped off the blood on her nose. Looking at the stain on her finger, she desperately tried to stop her shaking and kept herself still.

"I'm fine." She said as it continued dripping down her lips she could taste the rust.

"You're tired." He said. "We're going to the clinic."

Y/n protested, brushing his hands off her shoulders. "I promise I'm fine."

"Don't be so stubborn, y/nnie."

After the nurse had attended to y/n, they both stayed longer in the cubicle, sitting on one bed.

"What's wrong?" Finally, Jake had the courage to ask. Y/n may have tried to lie, but her face couldn't.

"I'm fine. I just need sleep. That's all." She said, shrugging.

"You seem to be having some trouble lately. What's wrong?"

"It doesn't matter."

"Y/n..."

"Jake." She sighed. "It doesn't matter."

He thought otherwise. "It does! Just look at what you're doing to yourself."

She fell silent, looking away.

"You don't need to hide something from me." He said. "You may look at us as strangers now, but we both know even before all of this, we used to be good friends." He waited for an answer, at least watching how she was swinging her legs hanging on the edge and rendering no reply.

"Y/nnie...." He started off again. "Please tell me—"

"I envy you." She has finally spoken, her words coming out like poison from her mouth. She turned her gaze to Jake and recognized the feeling of relief as his question was finally answered after all this time.

"I envy you. There, I said it. I've always wanted to be better than everyone else... To be better than you. It was easier back then. I hate that you're not just a piece of cake anymore. I know it's wrong. Even thinking of it is wrong. But I can never forgive myself for failing again and again. It's used me too much, this whole thing. I couldn't lie. It's tiresome. And I'm afraid that if I let this go I would just stop being smart. Not that I've ever been smart."

"Y/n..."

"So, yes. I envy you, Shim Jaeyun. It's not your fault, really. But the place you have right now... I've always wanted that. I wanted to take that place from you. Maybe let you have that for a while. Oh, how I never wanted to say these things to you. It just sounds so desperate."

"Y/n..." Jake said, pulling himself closer to yn. "It's clear to me now. You play such an ugly game."

"I know."

"I've never looked at you as my rival. I'm not certain you're even aware of that. How could you keep everything from me?"

"I'm sorry."

"I've been working hard too." He said. "Not because I want to maim you. God, no. Y/n, I'm trying to prove my worth to you."

There, y/n's eyes widened and her heart immediately hammered. She couldn't forgive herself even more by hearing those words.

"There's always a part of me that tells me to be good...really good. But, I never thought that I was going too far."

"No, Jake. Please. I am the only one who's going too far as to compete with you."

"I'm sorry. I just want you to look at me as more than just a piece of cake, because whoever is this piece of cake is the man who wants to be with you, y/nnie."

She could feel her cheeks heat up as she finally had the courage to keep the eye contact.

"But, now you already know me as I am, Jake."

"And now you know you shouldn't be jealous."

Moments of holding back had been broken off as y/n began to smile, carefully cupping Jake's cheeks, slowly going in for a kiss. His was the first lips she had ever kissed, and she had to admit she was clumsy. Jake loved every second of it, though; sinking his upper lip into her bottom one. Their heartbeats kept racing. He delicately placed his hand on her chin as if she was made of glass and their tongues began to touch. They might have put a stop right there out of sheer shock, but because time seemed to want it to end, it felt just right to close their eyes.