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Just read the title of the chapter :>>
˚⸙͎۪۫⋆ ༄
• Y/n •
I wasn't quite sure if what I saw were two versions of love, or just two mirrors with my own different reflections.
One thing I'm sure of is that they're my bestfriends, Heeseung and Jake. I never thought I could hold people so dearly in my heart until they'd come into my life and decide to be kept so close.
I fell in love with Heeseung. It might be surreal, and he may never know, but he's what home is to me; reassuring, perfect. I believed he only showed what he had to show to grant me the glimpse of the better fraction of the world.
It was just a requisite contact and I immediately found myself wanting more.
During vacant time in school, I would always find my feet leading me towards the music room. I always had this queer fascination with learning the organ. Regardless of how silly I made it sound, I could only care less because I knew I was alone and free, until I knew someone was watching me all along.
"Hello, Y/N." Heeseung greeted mellowly as he entered the room, closing the door behind him.
"Hi, Hee." I awkwardly greeted back, flicking a stray hair behind my ear. "Don't mind me. I'm just trying to learn."
He drew closer, it's his darling laugh again, telling me I'm playing the music wrong. "I could teach you if you tell me to. " He said with confidence in his tone.
"I know... It's just that I want to learn it alone." I protested as I earned his shallow glare.
Still, he decided to stand behind me, extending his arms to take my hand. He controlled it like it was his, the softness of his palms reminding me of how gentle he was, of how warm and safe my hand was beneath his, of how it made my heart skip a beat while he was slowly constructing a familiar tune.
I looked at him and saw his tea-brown eyes lighten up like crystal-clear orbs being kissed by the sun, his silky hair falling lightly on the bridge of his nose. I wondered if there was any more reason I could not resist.
And to make sure I was completely off guard, he looked at me and casted a smile on his face. And instead of learning the keys, I learned that half of my heart was now his property.
To fall in love with Jake is different, though. With Heeseung, I felt safe and perfect. With him, I felt flawed. And with him, it was alright to be flawed and oblivious.
Jake immediately stopped the car as he noticed me walking idly on the side of the road alone in the middle of the night. I was drunk and tired and, how could I even manage to find my shoes?
He caught me in his arms and opened the door at the front seat where he settled me down. He headed back to the driver's seat, looking at me with a hint of worry.
"Y/N, what happened?" As far as I could remember, he asked as he gingerly cupped my blushing cheek. I rested my face against his palm, part of it was because I felt giddy.
He immediately took off his jacket and carefully placed it around my shoulders. He looked at me intently and brushed my stray hair aside.
"You need to go home, Y/n." He said. I could remember shaking my head stubbornly. He was trying to convince me to go home where my mom would be waiting at the door with a frying pan in hand, until he decided to drive around the town.
It was a long night, and my favorite song was playing on the radio. I looked around the buildings and city lights we passed by, and I could still recall the coldness of the air as it caressed my skin. I didn't understand what Jake was talking about, I never even knew he was talking in the first place. But I could only remember some words.
"We can always talk about your hard times." The next thing I knew, while he was driving, he took my hand and interlocked it with his. He didn't care if I turned to face him. He could only let out a soft laugh.
Is it a bad thing to fall in love with two people at the same time? Yes, they are my two types of love, but no, I could only choose one. I couldn't even deign to tell who is the lover and who is the love. They are my bestfriends, and perhaps that is how they look at me, after all.
But then, I was there when we walked towards our homes together, with our backpacks and uniforms. I was there beside them as we laughed and talked. And they were beside me when I saw their fingers intertwined as if it was meant to be a secret.
