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I reapply my lipstick making sure it's absolutely perfect

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I reapply my lipstick making sure it's absolutely perfect. "So you and Ruz" Jay asks we were all at some random police charity thing. "Nothing is going on with me and Adam" I told him. MillieFlorence and Alvin were with Kelly. Will was going to pick MillieFlorence up in the morning. So I was childless until tomorrow afternoon at the earliest. I notice jay smirk at me. God that smirk along with the uniform I mean he looks amazing in everything and nothing. I shake my head sipping my wine looking around for my father.

"We're not getting back together jay" I said after several moments of silents between us. "I'm a mess i loved you and I went to New York got use and abused and than ended up pregnant to my best friend I need to be alone for right now" he sighs nodding "I have forgiven you so please stop trying to making it up to me I love it I really do and I love you for it but than I feel bad that I can't tell you anything because I don't know" "so I can't bring you food" "I know you use that to get out of work so yes but if you want I'll tell everyone you brought food if you don't want to...I'm a Voight I'm incredible at lying which is ironic considering" he glares at me but I could see the playfulness in his eyes "also Adam knows this" I add don't know why I felt the need to. "And for you" Adam said passing me another wine making me smile thankfully. "Are we planning on killing each other yet or did I come before that" "I don't think we ever" jay begins "right after I found out kinda vented to him and got drunk" I correct "we didn't produce a baby though guess fertile Myrtle didn't want my genes" I gasp dramatically "how could I" I said jokingly "I know your such a horrible person"Adam said back making me gasp. I didn't have to look around to know quiet a few people were watching concerned and intrigued. Seriously if dad didn't care why are they. I knew Adam was joking even if it didn't seem like it. It's just how Adam were. We got close when Jay and I's relationship broke.

I walk with my arm looped with my dad. "How was your night" "well I love dressing up as you know but I hate hearing all your colleagues here talk about their achievements and how great they are" "I know" he kisses my head. We were each other's everything since Justin passed. "I also know you didn't come for me but to see a certain someone else" I glance at him. I was my fathers date to this, him claiming I needed a night off. It was also probably the only reason I hadn't left with the super handsome grey blue eyed male that did all kinds of things to me. "I'm not getting back with him dad" "I would be horrible at my job if I didn't notice the looks he was giving you" "I notice them to I also don't think I could ever truely love anyone as much as I love him...but I love him" "I know" "I also told him tonight that we aren't getting together" "so that's why his mood changed so dramatically" "probably" I shrug leaning into my dad causing him to sigh "I have to put me first for a while I have been raped in relationships and having babies forever I need to find me I feel like I got so caught up in all this being a mother" "it's always been your dream" "it has and I wanted to be prefect exactly like mum that I just I lost myself" dad stops walking coming in front of me. His hands on my shoulders looking me in the eyes. "Your mother wasn't perfect by any means but I can tell you are absolutely to those two kids even though MillieMoon is grandpas girl I don't think she could survive without you....when you were at the hospital she was asking for you wanting to be with you every few minutes. It drove us insane" "probably because she was sick and I'm always the one looking after her especially when she's sick" "even when's she's not sick she wants to know where you are what your doing I think that despite being a grandpas girl she is all about you" "you say that but when she's with me it's can we go see daddy and grandpa can we get them food look what I made them and than I feel bad that I'm spending so much time at the district and Alvin isn't spending all this time with his dad by the end of the day we are exhausted" "you don't have to see us all in the one day spend more time with us go home do your thing...than the next go see the guys at the firehouse" "I feel like I'm letting him down" "his not even one yet he won't remember also your not letting him down he gets to see me and his godfather along with so many others who love him" I nod wrapping my arms around him. "I'm planning a New York trip still have to talk to Jay Kelly just needs the date than he will tell me if his coming...Erin is just sorting everything out on her end because she wants to spend time with us" he nods "then we are going to Arizona to see Olive and Daniel" he nods "Olive brought a house it's a three bedroom so she said whenever we come the kids can share a room and than me and Erin can have the guest room" "how often to you talk" "me and Olive probably once a week we have the occasional talk Moon and Danny talk every couple of days depending on what we're doing but it's very often...they are both begging us to see each other and Danny was telling me how mad he is he hasn't met baby Vinny" he lets out a quiet chuckle "I'm sure they would love if grandpa came" he smiles "I'll consider it" "you will...you never missed work for anything" he just laughs leaning over kissing my head before we begin walking again.

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