Hurting me

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I sat at the table in my dads house

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I sat at the table in my dads house. Of course he had stolen my daughter into the other room showing her pictures. I smile hearing her say "grandma" that's when I knew my father was giving her the full Voight history. Oh how Justin would be laughing. We all knew Daniel would love this as well. But MillieFlorence would always be his favourite. I already have cards ready to read to Daniel when he realises his growing up in his cousins shadow.

"You alright" I scream jumping "we scare mummy" MillieFlorence giggles from her spot on my dads hip. He sits down placing MillieFlorence comfortably on his lap. I smile watching her smile up at him like her world revolves around him. I know it makes him jealous. I frown at the thought of him but it's gone as quick as it came. "I'm just I'm lost I think" I shrug "want to talk about it I know you generally use to talk to your mum or Erin or" "basically anyone else" I finish making him nod "it's fine dad plus your pretty wrapped up with little miss" I point out "but it has been promised to her many times that she could be a cop like her awesome grandpa and dad and Kim and Trudy are there as long as you are fine with me stealing and potentially sitting in the interrogation room all day" he smirks getting up "what do you say Miss Moon how does bossing everyone around even daddy" her eyes light up nodding.

I rush up the steps "you and I we need to talk" I say grabbing Kim's arm "oh dads coming Millie just has to get the grand tour" I tell the rest dragging her off. "What's wrong" she asks sitting down on the floor. Since Erin left Kim and I had become closer. We weren't in the interrogation room more like the viewing room, as I realised he could probably stand in here and listen without me knowing. "Well I feel like I'm constantly on the brink of a mental break down I'm in love with someone who hurt me so so badly and appears to have developed some sort of jealousy thing oh and can't forget my new very attractive friend who I would probably get with if I wasn't in love with a certain someone" I sigh sitting down. Before she can speak however April barges in with Trudy confusing me a lot. April has snacks of all kinds. "Sorry I hope we haven't started" Trudy said moving a chair and sitting on it "oh we know how it is to good for the floor" "if I get down there I'm not getting back up" Trudy snaps making us laugh "Delilah was just telling me how she's madly in love with Jay but he hurt her and now there a very hot Homeside detective in the picture making Jay jealous" kim told them "I didn't say names" I snap making her laugh "is this Homeside detective detective Lucas" Trudy asks eating chips "how do you know that" I ask dipping a celery stick into the humus "I'm a Sargent" "oh a scale of average hot to really hot what is she" April asks "oh really hot I have seen his file and wow" Trudy said "oh yeah it's his like a tall darker brown eyed version of Jay" I tell Kim and April "Ohh that's a good way to describe him" Trudy said shoving her mouth of something "we need alcohol you aren't on call right" I ask April causing her to shake her head "we also shouldn't be in the police station" Trudy said looking around like she could will us somewhere. I pull my phone out dialling a number "father your favourite daughter needs alcohol" I pout as he says no "please plus I'm down the hall from you and I know you have a special collection" he just hangs up making me sighs "so we getting any" April asks I shrug "who knows with my dad" I lean back against wall my head against the shoulder of Kim. "Speaking of your dad" she goes to get up "his cool don't worry" she sighs "I wish Erin was here I need my girl" I sigh "you got us" April said making me smile and nod.

"Mummy" MillieFlorence said making me smile I kneel down as she runs over "I boss everybody" she exclaimed fixing my dads hat that's far to big to be on her head but, she loves it clearly. "Grandpa gave me hat" "I see that" I laugh as she holds it smiling "he said I more powerful than everyone" she said throwing her arms up that's when I catch jays longing eyes breaking my heart. My heart is broken. "I need my second" dad said stealing her from me "importont"MillieFlorence exclaimed making me smile. "Can we talk" Jay ask I could tell he was cautious making me sigh it's the one thing I hated even if he had a right to be cautious. People had be cautious with me my whole life and it annoyed me to no end. I just wanted people to treat me the same. But this was different he was scared I would take MillieFlorence and disappear. I had Justin in Texas and Erin in New York I had options.

I sigh nodding following him into the locker room. The moment the door closes I wish I had brought a drink.  "You were right I'm sorry" Jay said making me nod "I was jealous and I'm sorry I don't know how you coped when I" I nod "it was hard but I found out after the fact like it didn't even matter what I felt" "of course it does it always matters what you think and feel besides Flo your the most important person to me" I sigh sitting down "we got to stop I can't go on like this" he sighs rubbing his face before sitting down opposite me making sure to leave some distance. "How do we fix this I want to fix this but something tells me you aren't going to just get past it" "there isn't exactly a handbook to deal with your partner cheating on you" he smirks "you broke my trust and I honestly don't know if you can fix it because every other person who has lost my trust has left I never spoke to them again but a crazy part of me loves you i just hope you love me the same" "I do I promise I willing to do absolutely anything you want me to move out I will your in control" I sigh "I don't want you to move out Moon loves running down the hall I know she would love it if you slept with us but I'm not ready" "that's ok I love you I need you to know that I'm going to do literally anything to fix this" I sigh nodding "I'm a bit of a mess so bare with me" he nods "I'm a bit of a mess as well I screw everything up" I wanted to nod but that would be rude. I sigh sitting in silence. Neither one of us breaking it. It wasn't tense it was comfortable that's all that matters, for right now anyway

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