Inferno Part 4

~15~ Choice

Raya's POV

I walk quite a ways, not trying to go anywhere in particular. I just need to clear my head and figure out what I want.

I'm completely devastated. I wanted Jake and Sarah as my parents. I wanted Zoe and Ethan as my siblings.

I wanted this weird family to be mine. I love how chaotic and loud they are. I love how much they love.

I can't live with an abuser, though. The things I've had done to me....I can't. Ellie may have forgiven him...But he will always have those qualities. You know how they say once a cheater, always a cheater? Well, same goes for an abuser.

~*~

I get to the riverfront and sit on a dock, watching a few old men fish off of it. As I'm sitting, I'm hearing my phone vibrate.

I'm not answering.

I sit here for another twenty minutes or so, trying to decide how to get ahold of my social worker. I wonder if I have to go back to California now.

Suddenly I hear footsteps walking up the dock and toward me.

"You better have a damn good excuse for leaving, Raya Jade," Jake says as he sits roughly next to me and dangles his feet over the edge of the dock. He's so mad at me, he silently grabs the meter out of my diabetes bag he has beside him and takes my hand, pricking my finger.

When he reads the number, he simply puts it back in the bag and zips it up.

"The fact that you left the house without this.....we'll discuss your punishment tonight after the adoption. This could've killed you."

When I continue to look out at the river, I hear him sigh.

"Quit staring at the damn water and look at me."

When I do he studies my face hard, and suddenly pain flashes in his eyes.

"What's wrong, Raya?"

"I can't be adopted by you, Jake. I wanna call my social worker."

He blinks so quickly that he looks weird as he sniffs and looks down at his lap. When he looks back at me, his brown eyes are swimming with tears he's refusing to let fall.

"Why?" He finally gets out in such a strained voice, he sounds like he's lifting weights.

"Justin finally told me...."

"Finally told you what?" He asks as his tears are glimmering in his eyes and still not falling down his cheeks.

"That you're an abuser."

His mouth drops and he keeps it hanging. He loses control and his tears break free from his eyes and drip down his cheeks.

"I'm a what?" He gets out, his mouth still hanging open.

"He told me you abused Ellie...I can't live with an abuser, Jake...."

He hangs his head and runs both of his hands through his hair.

He finally nods and looks at me, his face full of panic and self-loathing.

"Yeah, I used to hit her....." he whispers.

"Then I can't be adopted by you. I'm sorry," I say as I bite my lip and look back out at the water.

He's quiet for such a long moment, it's awkward.
After a minute he sits cross-legged and puts his phone to his ear.

"I really need your help," he cries, his voice cracking as he tries to control his breathing. "The main dock at the Riverfront," he says as he hangs up.