The Unventured Passions

Guilty Conscience

"Boudidimoni, O Boudidimoni..."

Though her eyes were open, she couldn't think of why; her heart was pounding, mind empty. It's as if a hypodermic of adrenaline has been emptied into her carotid. Bondita strained into the utter darkness of the room as her breathing rate began to steady.
Monimala's sugarless voice had added bitterness to the suppressed melancholy of the room.
Bondita took a deep breath. It was evident that she had overslept, battling with her sadness all night. The memories of the past night engulfed her senses once again, filling her up with an heart-wrenching feeling of betrayal.
Yes, its betrayal... and Anirudh had betrayed her trust!
How could he?
The question rang in the mind in a never-ending loop like the previous night.
"O Boudidimoni... Won't you get up today?"

Monimala's shrill voice interrupted her menacing thoughts yet again.

"Coming, Kaki... In a minute."
Her reluctant voice rose a little higher as she dragged herself out of the bed.
She hadn't latched the door, as a faint ray of hope had still flickered inside her... What if Anirudh realises his mistake and comes back to her? What if....
But the bright light of the day flooding the room through the wiped freshly spread curtains removed that last trace of her expectation.

"Where is Dadababu?" She asked Monimala, her voice heavy and coarse.

"O Maa... Dadababu left very early... I asked him if he would eat, he didn't even reply."

"Hm." Bondita hummed, as that familiar storm arose in her heart once again.

"Choto Dadababu also went with him." Monimala added.

"Choto Dadababu? Do you know when he returned?"

"No Boudidimoni... When I came, let's say around 5 o clock, both Dadababu and Choto Dadababu were already ready to leave. Dadababu handed me the sleeping baby and left."

Bondita sighed at her words and turned back towards her room.

"O Boudidimoni, won't you go to Ka-lej today? What shall I prepare in breakfast?"

"I won't eat."
Bondita closed the door back and sank down in her bed once again.
How could Anirudh do this to her? How could he!

................................................

Nikhil Daktar had just left the Raybahadur palace when Neelmoni Mukherjee rushed into her daughter's bedroom without even knocking.

"Maa... Rai Maa... How are you feeling now?" His voice was strained with pain and love.

Rai didn't reply. She simply turned her face and stared outside the window blankly.
It's been three days since Batuk had left, and since then Raimoti had neither spoken to anyone nor had she eaten anything. The old family doctor and her father had begged and coaxed her into taking only a few medicines in the last few days. Her forehead still burnt as she lay still in her bed staring at the open window.

"Rai Maa... Don't do this Maa... Don't punish yourself like this." Neelmoni almost cried out the words as he gently patted the unkempt hair of this motherless girl. The more he looked at her helpless state, the more his anger grew. His heart burnt as with all his being he wished for the destruction of the Roy Chowdhurys.

"Babu, a letter for you."
A bearer stood at the door with his head bowed down as he held a tray in his gloved hand with a sealed letter on it.
This was Neelmoni's private moments with his ailing daughter, and nothing on earth could have intervened, but then he saw the glowing golden government seal on the letter.
"Give it to me." He stretched his hand and took the letter from the young man.
"Close the door." He commanded.