spideypool dialogue prompts

Personal Bodyguard. Pt. 1

A.N. Saw this at goodwill😭they had a Deadpool shirt and a storm shirt and I bought them immediately😌 Istarted school again too so ENJOYYYY  ILL TRY TO GET THE OTHER PART DONE ON TIME I HATE POSTING ONLY ONE PART SO I LEAVE YOU GUYS IMAGINING THE REST.

Wade was chilling at Sister Margaret's, drinking. It was the weekend so he was killing time.

"Hey, dickwad." Weasel greeted him.

"Watch your mouth, Napoleon Dynamite." Wade spat back.

Weasel frowned. "Stop bringing up my curly hair phase."

"Cant help it. It's burned into my head." Wade faked a grimace and clutched his bald head.

He's grown to not care about his appearance at bars, unless he wants some action with the hookers. Wade's fond of how it makes people scared of him, especially if they're dicks looking to prove their masculinity by fighting random mercs.

"Look. It's a tradition of hanging up photos of people here. It was your fault you looked too closely." Weasel leaned on the table. "Anyway, I have a job for you. A weird one."

Wade perked up. "Shoot."

Weasel gave him a face of 'shits hot' and pulled out a card. But it wasn't the usual gold ones. It was black, with white lettering.

Identical to Weapon X's.

But Weapon X was gone. Wade destroyed everything. Why would they hire him anyway if Wade was their biggest threat.

He read the name:

Peter Parker.

Wade scrunched just nude eyebrows (hah). "Is this it? I don't recognize the name."

"Oh that doesn't matter. This guy isn't hiring you to kill him, he wants you to be his bodyguard."

"What?" Wade was even more confused. "Why would someone else pay me to protect someone that isn't them?"

"I don't know man... I'm kind of jealous because it's 2 million dollars."

Wade choked on his beer. "What? That much? Who is this kid?" He smacked the beer down a little harder than he meant to.

"I don't know. This sketchy guy just came in, in all black. And was like," Weasel mocked a Batman impression, 'Give me the best guy you got. When you do, burn the card.' Then he left. Don't know who he works for or why he's protecting this rando."

"I've never had to protect anyone before. Why're you giving the card to me?" Wade complained.

Weasel sighed, and sheepishly answered, "Because you're the best merc around."

"Hah!" Wade mocked. "I knew it. You love me!~"

"Man, gross. Do that gay shit with someone else." Weasel flicked the card at Wade and went down the bar table to serve someone else.

Wade rolled his eyes and looked over the card closer. Nothing on the back. No company name. Just, 'Peter Parker'. Not even a number to call.

Wade groaned and scratched his head again. Bad habit.

He's never been paid so much for a job, or been paid to protect someone.

He wasn't good at it, looking back on Vanessa's death And his mom's.

But he couldn't turn down a job for so much money. He was already invested anyway.

Wade put the card down and took another swig of his drink. He thought hard.