Of Love and Valor

55: Memories

The barracks unit I share with Thariyae and Krethzirae is blissfully silent as I walk through the door alone. I spoke with Krethzirae at the West Gate right after we were dismissed for the day; apparently her brother is among the volunteers from Andelxiao who are going to Kedar-Jashun, and she is taking her evening meal with him. As for Thariyae, if I remember correctly, this evening is one of her mandated appearances at the Verathriya estate for a meal with a potential suitor.

Ordinarily, I would take a chance like this to share a meal with Zelphinon, but I actually haven't seen him since sparring this morning, and it occurred to me while Krethzirae and I were talking earlier that an evening alone would be an excellent opportunity to start reading the scroll that the Yrivvilon entrusted to me. I haven't told anyone about my encounter with the heir to Yrivvenna's throne in the hallway of the Yrivvior's palace, nor mentioned the scroll that's currently secreted in a drawer with the robes gifted to me by the Andelxiao Academy's firohni. I'm still not sure how I feel about the encounter, and I'm a little bit afraid that the text written in that scroll will be beyond my reach. The Kennakara Academy did not place much stress on reading and writing; lecture and experiential learning were the norm for the bulk of my education. I was not lying when I told the Yrivvior that I can read and write passably well, but I have hardly had anything resembling the education the Yrivvilon must have received, and "passably well" for a girl from a "backwater village" might be considered shamefully uneducated by imperial standards.

I am also still very much concerned that somehow, in some way, this business with the Yrivvilon and the scroll is some sort of a trap, although I could not say how it might prove to be so. His Imperial Highness is not someone with whom I seek any sort of acquaintance or companionship. I wish he had never had cause to take notice of me. The unwanted scrutiny of the salori is bad enough without any cause for speculation about a liaison between myself and the Yrivvilon of any nature. Even in the privacy of my own dwelling, without even my roommates around to discover me, I fear that reading the scroll will somehow invite disaster of some kind.

"What would your comrades-at-arms say, if they saw you afraid of a scroll?" I chastise myself sternly. "We do not conquer our fears by avoiding them, and you'll never know whether your fears are justified or not unless you try to read it."

But first, food, I decide. I picked up a small assortment of kebabs on the way home; I decided it wasn't worth cooking a whole meal for just myself. They are delicious—I bought them from one of my favorite vendors in the Southwest market—but they are also somewhat greasy, and it would never do to soil the Yrivvilon's scroll in any way.

Stop stalling, Azerai. It's already been a couple days since you served as Viorzhanim, and the next shift there could come at any time. You're supposed to have it finished by the next time you are summoned to the palace, and there's no telling what impact disappointing the Yrivvilon might have on your position as a military strategist.

I'm not honestly sure it's a position I want to have indefinitely, but as long as the Erivim pose a threat, as long as my ideas can help other people, I feel it is my duty to serve in whatever capacity those who outrank me deem best.

Thus I settle myself on the tatami mats covering the floor in my bedroom with the scroll from the Yrivvilon: The Art of Maintaining Sovereignty, Kazmiohn Surzhensamin. It begins with a brief outline of Kazmiohn Surzhensamin's life accomplishments; most notably, he fought more than 50 battles against Visserova, in various capacities, and in no battle where he served as Kazmiohn did Yrivvenna lose. Most key to his success, he wrote, was understanding his enemy and learning how the Visserov think, so that he could then plan to counteract them. So far, the language is difficult but not inaccessible. He lived when this Yrivvior's great-grandfather was Yrivvior, but even then, Visserova was a threat to Yrivvenna. How is it possible that this conflict has gone on so long? Why are the Visserov so determined to conquer us?