Of Love and Valor

23: Differences

The plains of Kedar-Jashun shimmer with heat in the afternoon. Livestock, mostly sheep and goats, graze wearily near the camp, tended by herders on horseback and guarded by a few dogs. The air is heavy with the smells of sun-baked grasses and wool. I didn't notice the heat while we were traveling here, though I don't know how; I must have been too focused on watching for movement, listening for unusual noises.

For now, I sit in a small pool of shade against one of the caravan's carts. I have secured at least a portion of the afternoon without any lookout duty, and I'm at a loss as to how to spend the time. At least for me, there's not much to do here. Alderon and Santhrobar are meeting with the zaikaritim, which I would find very interesting, but I was not invited, and the Molongun tribe's treatment of female warriors has only marginally improved since my duel with Restrivek; it is clear that it will take more than one duel to change the patriarchal customs here. What has changed since the duel is that now everyone in the tribe knows who I am, and they steer clear of me. I tried to watch Vensimir's mediation of trading between the tribe and the caravan, but everyone fell silent when I came into view, and walking into the trading area effectively split it in half as the tribe members scrambled to get away from me.

I wonder if this is how it was for Zelphinon, before he and his siblings fled Kedar-Jashun.

Of the three of them, Cezarya seems most at home, although admittedly Alderon has mostly been closeted in negotiations with the zaikaritim and Zelphinon and I have barely acknowledged each other since the night after the duel, a couple nights ago. Cezarya has reconnected with a few of her former friends who live here; all of them are now married and either pregnant or nursing a baby, a fate I cannot imagine Cezarya accepting at this point in her life. Is she glad to have escaped it?

"Mind if I join you?" Thariyae's voice jolts me out of my reverie as she sits down beside me.

"If you want to," I reply bemusedly. She has shown no interest in spending any time with me since we left Orenxiao. "It's no more exciting here than anywhere else."

"Watching the traders had its perks, at least for a little bit. But the haggling was getting stale."

This seems odd; Thariyae loves markets and trading.

"Cezarya showed up?" I ask.

Thariyae's countenance darkens. "Yeah. She...seems really at home here. With her friends and everything. And...it's hard."

"I can only imagine." She and Cezarya had been best friends, until Thariyae broke Alderon's heart.

"And it's so strange, too, because they're all married and either nursing mothers or about to be. Can you imagine, if she'd stayed here, how she might have been?"

"No. I can't see her accepting the rules here, living by them. But then, no one seemed to recognize her until Ansohnya Umathyar showed her face. She's probably changed a lot since she left here."

"She hasn't changed that much since arriving in Andelxiao, except for transitioning from child to adult."

I can't help laughing a bit. "That's pretty major."

Thariyae rolls her eyes. "I guess. I meant more, like, mentally. The only time I've ever seen her let anyone stand between her and something she wanted was when Alderon was adamant that Jorabij not court her, and even that didn't last forever. She just needed the right kind of push..." She glances at my hair, and her eyes widen. "You're not wearing the valix anymore?! What happened?!"

"We decided it would be best to...hide our relationship while we're here."

"Why? Would his uncle not approve or something? Zelphinon's not the type to care about other people's opinions, and neither are you."