Vigilante Songbird (Hawks x Reader)

Chapter Thirty-Seven

Songs mentioned: Traitor by Olivia Rodrigo (Y/N would have changed up the lyrics a little since his betrayal wasn't with another woman), Coma by Ash Graves, and Favorite Crime by Olivia Rodrigo

TW: Mentions of excessive drinking, blacking out, and minor drug use mentions

Keigo threw himself into work. He took on even more missions and did anything he could to distract himself from the emptiness of his apartment without you there. He didn't move anything out of place from where you had left it. Any time he did come home, he'd stare at the pictures you left. There were so many framed photos of the two of you decorating the walls and shelves throughout his home...your home.

He kept checking in on you through his feather, which you seemed to never take off. It made him both incredibly happy and filled with pain every time he heard your heartbeat or your voice. You never touched it, but you wore it constantly. That was more than enough for him.

The first gig you had after the incident in the warehouse was the hardest thing he'd dealt with since you left. He sat on the rooftop and heard you singing, pain behind every word...and he knew you were talking about him in the song. He wasn't sure if it was your song or just one that embodied how you felt, but it was all too fitting...

You betrayed me

And I know that you'll never feel sorry

For the way I hurt, yeah

Your words and the pain behind them slammed into his chest, causing tears to pool in his eyes. He sat there listening, knowing he caused all the hurt you were feeling. He was sorry. He wanted so badly to fix it.

God, I wish that you had thought this through

Before I went and fell in love with you

Don't you dare forget about the way

You betrayed me

Keigo clenched his fists hearing your voice break and a small sob escape your lips. "Fuck," he grumbled. "Y/N...I wish I could just explain."

The next gig the following week was even harder. The songs you sang had self-destructive tones. It scared him hearing you talk like that. You were drowning in your pain and your sadness... He wanted to pull you out and bring you back. You had such brightness in your soul that he had fallen so madly in love with...and now it was gone because of him.

You sang on stage, belting out the words. He stood across the street and watched you through the window. Your body swayed but the movements were languid and uncontrolled.

Cause I got a lot on my mind but no time

To deal with these issues the shit that I went through

I want a high I can't find

He heard the mild slurs in your voice and he knew you were so far gone. Whether it was alcohol or drugs, he wasn't sure, but he knew you weren't in control that night.

I've been losing consciousness it's out of my control

And I'm slipping away

Can't tell if I'm awake

Suffering is easy when I'm sleeping through the pain

Please don't pull the plug

Just pump me full of drugs