I'm Not a Fighter, I'm a Victim

Chapter 14

Riley 

My arms are dead. 

My body feels light. 

I feel dead...

Like a ghost...

 

If I am dead. 

As I assume...

Then I’m where I want to be...

 

I moved my arms around, feeling slightly restricted. It was dark except for a big light in the center of the ceiling. It seemed as if I was in an interrogation room; like those detective shows. Where the light swings slowly above your head; giving an ominous feeling to everybody around it...

I moved my arms up to stretch, but was even more restricted. I couldn’t move my hands more that---about---three inches away from each other. Confused, I looked at my hands, seeing silver handcuffs locked securely around my wrists. Why in the world am I handcuffed? 

My eyes drifted to a figure in a dark corner. Part of it could only be seen, and it looked like Luca. That flaming red hair he has is shining from the light. That is most definitely him, I’ve never seen such red hair in my life. Luca shifted slightly, revealing more of himself. His eyes, that were once bright were cloudy, and dull. His usually neat clothes were unkempt, and looked soaked from tears. 

Why...Does he...Remind me of...Me? 

“Look what I did...” I said quietly, and he looked at me. “You’re eyes are dull, you looked distressed...And it’s all my fault. The real me messed up someones life...That’s why I’m trash...I ruin things...for everyone...That’s why I can’t be with you” I sobbed

“Riley...I care about you, and I want to be with you...I know, you know, everybody knows you’re not trash...You’re the most unique girl I’ve ever seen...What happened in the past will never do anything to scare me away...You’re past wont do anything, please don’t worry about it.” Luca said getting up from where he was sitting. 

He walked over to me, placing his warm hands on the sides of my face. “Nothing, will keep me from you Riley...No matter how much you push me away I will come back...I’ll do anything for you” He kissed my forehead tenderly, and I began to flash back. 

“Don’t worry Riles, we can fix it...No need to worry” My dad’s voice echo’s back to the point where I broke my project. “Don’t worry...It will be fixed in no time” He placed his hands on my small round face; then placed a kiss on my forehead. 

Tears flowed out of my eyes, and I yanked myself away. I can’t take it anymore, the touches, the kisses...They bring back too much for me to handle! I can’t handle all of this! 

 

“Stop it! Don’t touch me!” I shout and Luca jumps back, startled at my random outburst. 

“Did I do something wrong?” 

“You...You act like my father! You keep comforting me when I’m crazy, you kiss my forehead and cheeks! Don’t imitate him! It hurts too much...It’s a nightmare, a nightmare!” I scream jingling my handcuffs, desperate to get free. 

“I’m so sorry...Riley please...Please calm down...Erin will come back” Luca said and I ignored him. I was too insane to process thoughts at the moment. All I wanted was to get out of his grip.  

Suddenly the door busted open and Erin emerged, looking down at me furiously. She looked like she either did something with Andrew, or got into a fight on the streets. Man, she looks worse that Luca right now! 

“What happened to you? You and Andrew do something?” I asked, feeling myself to become more sane. My hands were still shaking though. 

“Come on Riles I signed you out, back to therapy” she said completely ignoring my question. 

“I don’t like Dr. Kyuma! She keeps treating me like a baby” 

“I don’t care if you don’t like her, you aren’t sane enough to be outside like this!” Erin shouted and I jingled the handcuffs. 

“I’m not sane enough! I’m the one coping with a parents death that happened when I was only six years old! I was forced away with no explanation, and I cried for days! Days! Don’t you tell me I’m not sane!” I screamed, standing up looking her dead in the eyes. 

“Come on...Say goodbye to Luca, and lets go” 

You’re not taking me away again. 

I’m not going to let you. 

I will put up a fight. 

You already know that.

 

Just as I did last time. 

You’re going to have to drag me in. 

Handcuffed. 

Just like now... 

But you wont succeed...

 

If you take me away. 

Then you know where this is going to go. 

I’ll resent those days when I come back. 

Resent these eight years I lived at the group home. 

 

When I say resent. 

You know what I mean. 

Resentment leads to suicidal thoughts. 

Suicidal thoughts lead to suicide. 

And suicide will take me to my parents...

Where I belong...