Riley
Dinner...Me and Luca? No, way. I’m not going to dinner with him as a token of his ‘apology.’ Please, what apology? Nothing was his fault. He didn’t do anything. So why is he apologizing? What is there to apologize for? I caused myself to breakdown. I chose not to get over my past---that’s what causes the breakdowns. I allowed my mind to go wild. It was all my doing...Luca had no part in this...He just witnessed.
I do appreciate the fact that he cares about me. I really do, but I just feel this isn’t right. Me and Luca...It just isn’t right. I’ll end up pushing him away when things get worse. He’ll end up running away when he finds out I’m too much to handle. I just know it’ll happen...It---my past---will appall him; it appalls me sometimes. When he meets the real me...That’s when he’s gone...
Luca doesn’t need this.
It’s my problem...
It’s my life...
I can’t burden him with this...
“Do you want me to carry you? You could be dizzy, or you could have hit something when you fell” Luca asked.
“No, I’m fine” I said shortly. I have to push him away now, before this gets too far. It’s for the best, for both of us.
“You sure? You don’t---”
“Luca! I’m fine!” I half yelled and his face fell. I hurt his feelings, and I feel bad. But I have to get him away from me, the farther away from me the better. “I’m sorry, just not used to people caring this much”
“Well, you know I care” he said running his palm down the side of my face. “I’ll help you through anything. No matter how bad”
He was too nice; too caring. I couldn’t take it! It’s driving me insane! “I can’t deal with this! Stop it, stop it!” I screamed grabbing my head, trying to calm down.
My vision faded and I began to see my parents. Their loving faces looking down at me; then Luca’s coming exactly matching. They’re too alike! They’re the same!
“Come on Riles, try again.” Their voices echoed in my head. “Almost, try again”
“Riley, I’m sorry! I’ll help, I’ll do anything. Please don’t do this” Luca pleaded, and I sobbed like an idiot. I need my pills...
“Pills...” I sob curling in a ball. “I wish I had my pills”
“What pills? Will they help?” He asked urgently, and I shook my head.
“I got rid of them! Erin and Andrew will kill me!” I screamed. “I’m sorry! I’m sorry! I’m sorry!” I ranted.
The whole world was spiraling, and it seemed like it had no intention of stopping. It making me dizzy, nauseous, and my sanity is out the window. I screamed at the top of my lungs crying ‘make it stop make it stop.’ I wish I could make it stop, unfortunately I can’t control that.
“Come on young lady, get up. Come on” A unrecognizable male voice said. His arms wrapped around me, attempting to pick me up.
“Get off of me! Get off of me!” I shrieked, and kids started stepping out of classrooms. They were all watching me...Watching me have another break down...
“Riles...Come on Riles get up” I heard Erin say. I opened my eyes lazily and saw Luca, Erin and Andrew hovering over me. Where am I? How did I get here? Wasn’t I breaking down in the hallway? Why am I not there? “Thank goodness you’re awake, and thank goodness I kept those pills.” Erin sighed, and I curled up in a ball.
She thinks I’m crazy. Why else would she keep those pills?
“You must really think I’m crazy,” I mumbled. “Why in the world would you still have those things? They’re stupid, they’re not real! Nothing’s real!” I shrieked grabbing my head.
“Riley you need to calm down” Luca told me, and I glared at him.
“Don’t you tell me what I need to do! You don’t know anything! None of you know anything!” I shouted trying to get up, but Andrew held me down. “Get off of me! Get off of me!” I shrieked thrashing about.
My mind is racing.
My heart is pumping.
I’m confused.
And I’m alone.
No matter how many people are with me.
No matter who I can get near,
I’m always alone...
I’m going to therapy.
So I’m missing the rest of the week.
It doesn’t matter.
Nobody’ll miss me...
People will just talk about me.
About the breakdown.
The fight...
My confession.
They’ll make rumors up.
Then ruin my life.
If that’s even possible...
If I could go anywhere right now.
I would go to the spirit world.
See my parents.
Talk to them...
Vent...
Get away from Luca...
Escape the world...
YOU ARE READING
I'm Not a Fighter, I'm a Victim
Teen FictionRiley is an orphan girl that wants to fit in. But she can't with the constant bullying that happens to her. The one thing she wants to know—more than her parents mysterious death—is why. Why do those children target her? What did she do to deserve t...
