S3 Part 35 - Silence of the Lambs

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"..."

You didn't know if you should scream and be angry or let yourself fall to pieces. The ice you felt earlier in your chest came back, and hardened to the point of shattering.

Shinso had a panicked expression the entire time he waited for you to speak again. But now, he seemed calm, like he understood something. He had been caught, and now he had to deal with it.

"Kit-"

"Don't you dare!" You snapped, pressing yourself further against the desk, "All I want you to do is answer me."

"Fine."

"You brainwashed me..." you hated hearing those words out loud, "Not even in your usual way or for play. You were messing with my memories! Why?"

You were shocked he felt safe enough to get closer. He leaned his palms against the desk, on either side of you. The glare you were trying to muster failed, especially when he wasn't breaking eye contact with you.

"I said I was going to make sure you never had to kill anyone again. That I was going to become stronger. So, I did that."

"What does that even mean?" You asked, "What did you do?"

You hadn't realized how badly you were shaking, until Shinso held your face between his hands. Everything hurt. You didn't even know what he did yet, but you felt lied to. By the person you trusted most. The only one who hadn't lied about your life to protect you - but not anymore.

"Don't touch me," you said, but your voice was weak. It was difficult to hold his gaze any longer. You had energy galore but when your hands went to remove his, you felt nothing. He continued to hold you like that while you dug your nails into his skin.

"Please, look at me," he said.

"I can't!" To prove it, you just shut your eyes entirely, "Why didn't you just... why couldn't you just tell me what you were doing? Why did you have to mess with my head? I don't understand."

"I was scared," his deep voice brought little comfort this time, "I didn't know what to do at the time. And then... I just kept doing it, so it wouldn't burden you."

"What could have been so terrible to risk our faith in each other..?" You felt the tears coming and cursed how often that seemed to happen anymore. For some reason, crying made you think of Deku. Deku made you think of All Might. And that reminded you of your conversation the other day in his office.

"The police have been finding the cult members around the city. Some were dead. The others couldn't remember how they ended up there. You don't happen to know anything about that?"

Now I do...

"Oh gods," you gasped, "Shinso, no. You didn't... you killed those cultists?"

"I did."

You whimpered, and clenched your eyes shut even tighter. It felt pathetic but you didn't care. At least they were villains? Could you really justify that? You killed a villain too... where did you draw the line?

"So... what, you wait until night and go on a hunting spree?!"

Still, he made no attempt to match your energy. He remained still. Even though you were avoiding looking at him, you could feel his cool expression, and didn't know if it frightened you or not.

"I never wanted the cult to reach you," Shinso said, "After you killed Valentini, I wasn't sure I was getting you back. I wasn't even sure that I hadn't lost myself. The cult wants you to be this... thing, this reason for their killing."

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