You never know.... ( AMBW )

chapter 62

I agreed to hear him out. But right now I was seriously having second thoughts....

Sierra's pov~

We chose to continue our conversation privately on the rooftop of the hospital. I stood several feet away from him. And looked towards the horizon while waiting for him to bring out. Of what I could basically tell what he was going to say to me. So I braced myself as I always do now.

" Sierra...I know we only have know each other but a half year. But I can sincerely say that I have feelings for you. And I think we could give it a try. "

I heard him out, soaked it in. I couldn't turn to look him in the eyes yet. Because I knew he'd probably have some sort of hopeful look upon his face. And I'd turn him down, that would be dashed in a instant. But I couldn't keep him waiting. I had to put an end to this.

So here it goes...

" I'm sorry Sam. I can't reciprocate your feelings for me. I want to stay friends if possible. Please understand, " I said turning to face him. And what I saw was anger displaying itself upon his features.

" Is it because of him ?! " he asked accusing me of something that wasn't true.

But I knew exactly who the " he " Sam was so obviously speaking of. I was shocked that he would even ask me that. So shocked that I couldn't answered back to tell him that it wasn't true.

" Answer me Sierra. Answer me ! He is the reason why ! He's the one that has hurt you ! " Sam yelled, was seemly upset because I wasn't answering him.

But the one thing that had me wary plus angry at this situation. Was he was displaying aggravation and agitation this much. I couldn't let this go on. I had to set the record straight.

" Sam ! I don't appreciate you speaking to me like that. I thought you were a friend to me. And that's all I want. It'll end if you keep acting this way ! "

After I spoke, he was looking at me stunned. But I wasn't finished yet.

" And I want to get one thing straight. I'm not planning to be with " Him " not now. Not ever ! I am my own person. Quite frankly I don't want to be with anyone ! " I yelled at him, he stood there in silence until I was done. I then walked away.

>>>>>>

As I walked back to my department. I felt wiped, drained but also felt  relief from something that was hanging over my head for a long time. That something I really didn't want to face. But now that it was over. I still felt that something was going to happen.

The rest of day I tried to slip back into work mode. But I really wasn't feeling being in this setting at all. I either wanted to scream hysterically out loud. Or run at full speed out of the hospital.

Just then my phone's alarm went off. I checked it, it shown that I had an therapy appointment today. I was kind of relieved because I really did need to talk to someone. And I didn't want it be someone that could possibly judge me. And isn't it what an therapist does. Listen to you without judgement to a certain degree.

...............

The work came to uneventful end. In which I was grateful for. I kind ignored the questions that my friends wanted to so obviously know. But I wasn't ready so I basically ditched them saying I had an appointment. Which was true.

I needed to be alone to collect my thoughts before seeing the therapist. I didn't want to show up, began to talk. And it'll would turn into an jumbled messed of speaking on my part.

As I walked to my car, I thought on how I shouldn't have waited so long in between sessions. I kept them once a month. Because I thought that I was moving in the right direction. Being a mom, good and promising job. You know putting the past behind me.

But then he came back into the picture. And from there on everything got so messed up.

>>>>>

After my much needed session with my therapist. It had calmed me down. But I also confused on some focal points. That all things that were crazy all somehow ran back to me. Because I couldn't face certain things in my life.

My therapist said it was a good thing that. I let my feelings be known instead of possibly leading Sam on. I didn't even think I was doing that. But I did know that he  liked me. But didn't know to what extent until he shown it at the Charity ball. And also earlier on the rooftop of the hospital.

As I thought on the things we talked, more. I wasn't paying attention to where I was going when I walked out of the mental health office. I soon tripped over an planted rock in the landscape in the front entrance of the facility. But was caught by someone that had serious upper body strength. The arms were kind of like vice grips but loosen when I gave a thanks.

But I still didn't look up to see the person that saved my knees. When I did the wind got knocked out of me. Handsome was an understatement. Hopefully I wasn't drooling. I backed away, was about to give another thanks. But he spoke first.

" I'm glad you're okay. You sure you didn't twist your ankle ? " he asked out of concern.

" No I'm good, " I replied but my foot did sting a little but the embarrassment was kind of worst because folks were staring.

" Well that's good. I'm Ramil. Nice to meet you. And you are ? "

" I'm Keisha. And I'm late because I have to pick up my child, thanks again, " I told him knowing full and well that what I said was lie.

I walked to my parked car out front, before I got in. I thought I heard him say.

See you later. But why would I ? That was totally weird. And I shouldn't think too much on it. I needed to get home. Ice my foot, rest.

Writers block was hitting me hard on this chapter. Hopefully I can get back on track for future chapters. And I hope this chapter didn't suck.

Thanks for the 85k reads ❤