Why Wattpad Drives Me Crazy | ✔️

66| HOW MUCH MORE DEEP SH*T CAN WE TAKE?!

So I've been at home for the night, really enjoying the unlimited internet resources, and thus I decided to write a rant I've been meaning to do for a while.

Thanks to fracklemore for the idea (and for letting me use it)! I was reading her awesome book the Anatomy of Cliché where she exposes stuff that are, well, cliché. It's real funny, check it out :P

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So basically now that I'm a silent reader I've been sneaking around reading books offline

#TheGhostofGenie_Us

Like guys imagine I'm still going strong without wifi

Anyway, I began noticing some sort of thing that authors do:

They basically try to be deep and fucking over-analysers of every damn thing in a story.

So yea we've been through deep authors before, but this is a new kind.

What you'll find is that they'll connect meaningless every day objects to something symbolic and significant and shit like that. At first it was cool, and I believed it, but than GAAH bitches kept on playing that card that I was like naaaaa bruh!

It's like the way I was having my English literature class sometime last week and we were discussing the difference between a story and a narrative. In group work, we were given extracts and we were to decide which was which, yea.

One of these extracts was Humpty Dumpty, and we all agreed it was a story for it was too simple.

THEN THIS BITCH WAS LIKE

"NO, it's a narrative! The breaking of Humpty Dumpty could mean some sort of heart break, where even those of the highest rank were unable to piece back his broken heart again."

LIKE WHAT THE HELL

I swear to chicken if one of you says that that's possible, I will hunt you down.

I mean sure; it makes sense but it's a damn children's story okay you can't be saying that it's about heart break and whatnot?!

So in relevance to wattpad, here's what you'll find:

"I got up and went to breakfast. I walked down the stairs, slowly. Each step on each stair reminded me of how my life was like a set of steps, and the fact that I was walking downwards signified my downfall. I arrived at the hallway and entered the kitchen. It was warm in here, just like I wanted my heart to be. I thought that I should make pancakes, and as I flipped one over, it reflected my life. I needed to turn my life around, just like the pancake."

Like for fuck's sake gurl

I will use fracklemore's example because tbh, I couldn't have said it better myself:

"She threw my shoe in the air and said, "catch it!"

Annoyed, I followed after my show. It was then I realised that like my shoe, everything's been distant right when she came into my life. Perhaps she's the reason for all my failures.

Then, fracklemore (that username is too cool though) went on to say how these authors "connect useless objects to the depth of their lives."

So need I say more?

*the awkward moment when I kind of do...*

Guys, when you're writing, please know that NOT EVERY FUCKING THING HAS TO BE A DEEP AND PHILOSOPHICAL REFLECTION

PLS PLS

like how depressing would real life be if everything were like that?

"My tub of lotion was finished. I missed the smell of it on my skin...which came to show how all good things would come to an end."

"I entered my bed to go to sleep. I saw how it was a lot like love: once you are in it, it made you feel all warm...until you had to walk out of it and into the cold reality."

Like seriously OMG

Lol

It seriously doesn't make you a better author if you do that kind of shit

Like who the fuck says Humpty Dumpty has a deeper meaning

Honestly

Even my literature teacher was like "are you serious...?"

Don't over analyze things

pls

K bye

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Half term is in three more weeks, we can do it!

#WeAreStrong