Why Wattpad Drives Me Crazy | ✔️

37| That Macklemore Swag

Tonight these rants are just coming at me like Portugal's goals against North Korea in the 2010 World Cup

Do you get it, lol

Portugal won 7-0 okay

But they sucked this World Cup

GO GERMANY THOUGH

GO NETHERLANDS THOUGH

my teams forever*. <3

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Hopefully this is my last rant for today. I don't know why I'm complaining so much - someone (in real life!) did piss me off earlier, and my progesterone levels are pretty low

So I've a lot of anger in me right now

Here goes

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You know one thing I hate?

(No duh, genius, you've written over 30 chapters on things you hate...you dumbfuck).

*ignored myself politely*

I hate it when some writers don't fucking realise that wattpad gives to options for some of your text to be BOLD or ITALIC or something

Because like you can't fucking tell the difference between the characters and the author's notes and whatever

So it ends up looking like dis:

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I was walking down the streets then a bad guy pulled out a knife at me

omg guys are you feeling scared now, vote and comment

Suddenly, he kissed me,

ahhh a kiss so romantic

I kissed him back but because our tongues were in sync like those synchronized swimmers at the Olympics I grabbed the knife and threw it away

I heard someone scream but the kiss was too good

Four hours later

We had lunch and it was so mouth watering like my mouth produced more saliva than during the kiss but I guess that was good coz more amylase being produced in my spit means the enzymes could work twice as efficiently

What do you guys think they ate?

Two minutes later vote and comment

He began to kiss me again then when I opened my eyes...

Omg sorry to leave you guys on a cliffhanger, let me add more

A police man was walking in my direction...

Vote comment Yayy

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I'm afraid of continuing that story.

It wasn't going in a pretty direction.

So yea, I'd come across a couple of stories just like that - where the author's note is fucking the same as the story's font so I'm like what

What

What

What

#SoundingLikeMacklemore

Speaking of author's notes in the middle of a paragraph

DON'T YOU FUCKING HATE THAT?

LIKE BITCH I DON'T CARE ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW, I CARE ABOUT THE CHARACTER'S THOUGHTS OKAY, SO FUCK OFF

LIKE I DON'T WANT TO KNOW WHAT WORLD CUP TEAMS YOU SUPPORT*

*this was probably you guys when I was talking about my teams, lol

So yes I'm a teensy bit hypocritical, but I DON'T DO IT IN THE MIDDLE OF A BOOK

I do it at the beginning or at the end! Because I have more credibility than that, guys!

It's so annoying because you're like really getting into the book, then BAM! It hits you like Zinedine's headbutt in 2006

(Okay fine, I'll stop with these football references)

It's like:

Scarf approached the door, shivering. Door was about to open when

A/N - DID YOU WATCH THAT GAME OF THRONES EPISODE WHERE HIS HEAD EXPLODED?!

When Bed screamed, "DON'T!"

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Way to interrupt the flow, Viper

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But seriously, do you remember that episode, gawd I was in so much shock

a head cannot simply explode like that?

*shudders*

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