Why Wattpad Drives Me Crazy | ✔️

98| THANKS FIFTY SHADES

#Genie12rantsofChristmas

Number...5?

Sorry I haven't been updating, my parents decided to take me on an impromptu trip to a place with zero network for the whole weekend so I couldn't get on here.

Is it too late now to say sorrrrryyyy

(too-too-to-to-too-too-too)

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To be honest I don't know why I've never ranted about this. In the Romance category, 99.99% of the books on the What's Hot list revolve around this one theme and I still don't know why I haven't ranted about it.

Okay okay I'm doing that now.

I don't know if 50 shades is to blame for this recent surge or whether it's just the 'in' thing now

But I'm getting absolutely fed up with this whole I-fell-in-love-with-the-billionaire type story. I mean, if you're lucky, some BDSM will be thrown in.

Omg so remember how in my old rants I used to make up stories omg I'm going to do that now yayy

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My name was Exotica. Basically, I thought extremely highly of myself, pretending to be extremely intelligent and independent-minded while still having a job as a waitress/hotel cleaner because duh my ambition hadn't been actualized yet but I continued to do menial jobs while still being tremendously cocky

Somehow I met some CEO/billionaire/millionaire because he noticed me and called me into his office for an interview or something. However, of course I never knew what he looked like despite the fact that he was a famous billionaire or whatever so I automatically imagined him to be old because stereotypes.

When his sexy assistant (her face annoyed me) ushered me into his office, and he turned in his big chair, I was taken aback. I didn't want to show him that I was surprised so throughout the time we spoke I was rude and sharp-tongued. Because I was an independent woman, duh, and that obviously meant pretending to be all badass in front of the person who's actually worked his ass off to be a badass.

For some reason, Billionaire Guy was intrigued by me and therefore summoned me again where this time, he came so close to me and my heart was pounding. I didn't want him to know I felt like completely surrendering my body to him, so I put up a front. Because independent woman.

Three minutes later he kissed me, and this is always passionate because it's lust like srsly we both wanted it so bad and we were craving for each others' body insert random sex scene insert BDSM insert the following words colon submissive masochistic anal and finally insert lie that it felt good

...(I know I said 'insert' a bit too much there but...no pun intended...lawls)

Again remember I'm an independent woman therefore I want to work for my money and not allow Billionaire Guy to buy my way to riches but I'll never say no when he takes me on dates on a helicopter to his private mansion and I'll never return the diamond necklace he got me but I want to work for my things, I want to achieve my own status through my own hard work and initiative, that's what I'm all about yea.

Insert more BDSM no actual plot he probably tells me he's falling in love with me but it's definitely while we're fucking (because making love is for pussies)

(omg wut)

(I meant because making love is for those romantic guys and I'm not into that shit, I like being submissive)

Insert zero plot just many many sex scenes

Insert angry A/N saying that it's NOT like 50 Shades of Grey

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Okay tbh I feel like these books take feminism (I say this with a light heart btw) back a few steps I mean like lawls bitch if you say you wanna work for your achievements why the fuck do you even accept his job offer which is clearly based on the fuck-t (fact, lawls) that you look exotic which is apparently attractive to him

Secondly why do they never know what these millionaires/billionaires look like before they meet them I mean I guess it's for the sake of the plot like you want to surprise the chick-with-menial-job but fuuuuckkkk, billionaires are so rare so everyone knows you if you're one and tbh if you're going for a job interview you're supposed to know who the fuck is going to interview you man get your shit together

Thirdly why do girls wanna be the submissive all of a sudden because tbh I'd wanna be the dominatrix, I'd fucking kill that shit

...my choice of words is really not ideal today

Tbh I've like a million of these books in my library and I've read all of them but I can never finish because it's just soooooo bad like I just can't bring myself to like these books

Like they basically give all the power to the man and then both lovers pretend it's all about hot passionate sex and shit, it's never romantic or vulnerable and y'all know that's the kinda shit that I love

omg hi Ryan Gosling hiii

And have you noticed we never know how the guy becomes a billionaire/millionaire, like shit man he may bloody well be a serial killer or like the creator of black market in Manila

#ThrillerInManila

I mean sometimes the author attempts to throw it in like "he built an empire of a law firm" but like their explanations suck and I'm an Economics student and I took Business once upon a time so I know you're just making up a bunch of unrealistic bullshit yea man sometimes I pay attention in class wat bitch that's independent woman right there

I can always like the bad boy stories but never these millionaire ones

And why do they always have such big offices like bitch if I was rich I'd work from home like Kylie Jenner tbh like I mean make a couple calls and shit and the money will be pouring in

#PourItUpPourItUp
#BBHMM

(If you don't get these references you should go and hide...under an umbrella ;))

(I'm just on fire today with these puns man 🔥🔥)

And lol there's always that one "important board meeting" or "important phone call" to do with the company that the guy must ignore the girl for lawls

whateves

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I've been binge-watching the Bachelorette pls tell me I'm not the only one who loves this show

Like this season 11 is just fayaaaa 🔥🔥

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