Why Wattpad Drives Me Crazy | ✔️

47| I Don't Eat Online Tings K

I want to thank imapersonyoudontknow for this idea on the cookies, although it's long overdue:O

Yayy, Germany! World Champions 2014 :D

(Had to mention them because the last post is gone lol)

::

So today's rant is about those authors who think it's a good idea to give "virtual cookies" to their readers if they vote or something like that

IT ANNOYS ME NO END

NO END

NO END

NO END

(Lol my repetition of "no end" illustrates the fact that it has no end. Do you see it? Do you get it? Lol the kinds of things you learn when you're forced to do English Literature...)

Okay but seriously, there's no fucking cookie in the first place

I never receive it yea

moreover, there's never enough for everyone

AND I SENSE THE SARCASM IN YOUR TONE

In fact what I generally dislike is overly enthusiastic/optimistic over-the-top authors

It's so weird lol

They're like

"HEY OMG GUYS I WILL LOVE YOU FOREVER IF YOU SHARE MY BOOK WITH OTHER PEOPLE AND TWEET THE LINK AND INSTAGRAM THE COVER!!!!!!!!!!"

Actually it's just plain annoying because you think that we're are gaining anything from this?

Your "love" doesn't fucking count

Like even those cookies, okay, it's just such an empty reward

Insomuch (I love this word lol #StillReadingShakespeare) that you're asking your readers to do you some favours (i.e voting, commenting, sharing your shit) and your reward for that is a fucking cookie...

A FUCKING COOKIE THAT DOESN'T EVEN EXIST

And your undying "love"? Lol bitch pls

How about actually show them that you appreciate them?

Just saying, just saying.

The cookies are alright though

NOT.

THEY ARE NOT ALRIGHT, BITCH

NOT EVERYONE EVEN LIKES COOKIES

IF YOU REALLY LOVE YOUR READERS THEN GIVE THEM SHIT THAT THEY LIKE OKAY

pizza

chocolate

CHICKEN

CHICKEN, okay

I like chicken and Nutella pancakes but I'm allergic to eggs so don't put eggs.

::

Who is selling dots without my consent by the way?

#TheCIAisComingForYou

Participation in the illegal buying and selling of unpublished dots will lead to your arrest

And a $1001 KFC voucher as a fine

Lol jks haha did you notice I was joking lol

I'm so stupid.

Gaah.

::

And lol don't you find it annoying when some authors talk more about their lives than the actual characters' lives

You'll literally know every single detail about the author yea, like who their crush is and why they aren't dating yet and their grades in exams and furthermore what fights they've been having with their mum

And most of the time their life is more interesting than their book hahaha

I shouldn't even be speaking though, you guys know too much already

Too much

you must all be hidden from the rest

for the information you contain is too lethal to the rest of humanity

#TheCIAisBackForYou

Did you notice that I kid hahaha

Haha

Hah

My inner voice:
You're really not funny, genie_us.
Like just go and hide yourself under a rock

Me: okay but does it have chicken coz I'm hungry