Why Wattpad Drives Me Crazy | ✔️

10| Apology not Accepted

Apology not Accepted

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Dedicated to Awaken12! Thanks for such nice comments on my book! Thanks for reading xx

Also, thank you to my other loyal 'fans' (omg I have fans!?) because it means so much! Ahhhh love you guys xxx

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Hey. Enough with the sappy stuff, let's get down to business...

...to defeat the Hun...

WHATTUP MULAN REFERENCE!

Sorry, I just had to do that, lol. (It's one of my favourite Disney songs omg).

So, where was I?

Oh yea.

Today's rant is on how much it frustrates me when authors:

(i) apologise at the end of a chapter

(ii) apologise for not uploading in a long, long, time

(iii) refuse compliments, in the name of 'modesty'.

You know why? Because just like those apologies you give to your teacher because you swore in class, you don't mean it, and you don't plan to actually do anything about it!

Let's go through this slowly.

Apologising at the end of a Chapter

Hey guys, I just want to say I'm so sorry that this chapter isn't as good as the others. I know it's boring and filler-ish, but I promise the next one will be good.

OKAY. SO YOU KNOW? SO YOU KNOW IT SUCKS??? *puts caps lock away*.

Why did you post it if it isn't good? First of all, I didn't even notice it was boring until you mentioned it. So jeez, thanks for putting me off. Like honestly, if you don't freaking like it then don't post it then! Instead of telling us that it sucks and spoiling it for us!

Now that you've mentioned it, I see why it's terrible.

HONESTLY, WHERE'S YOUR DIGNITY AS AN AUTHOR?

I don't think I've ever seen JK Rowling apologise for her books.

Neither has Stephenie Meyer, and she has a reason to.

(Twilight fans don't grill me.)

What annoys me about these apologies is that you're never going to change them again, and even if you do I won't bother going back.

Apologising for not uploading

Hey guys, I'm so sorry that I haven't updated in a while*, I've been caught up in a lot of things...hope you like this chapter.

*YOU HAVEN'T UPLOADED IN NINE FUCKING MONTHS REMEMBER (refer to rant #1) SO TELL ME, HOW'S THE BABY?

So cool, it's not like you left us AGITATED and DISTURBED and TORMENTED for the duration of your maternity leave you impudent creature!

Impudent means rude, I think.

So you just carry on like there's nothing wrong, when really we are all thinking of how you SO owe us. You owe us a compensation fee, a birthday present, a Christmas gift, as well as the new Samsung Galaxy S5 (I'll email you my address).

You're so lucky I'm still reading that book.

More realistically, many authors have apologised for not uploading in maybe a month or two, and very few of them actually make up for it. Sometimes they do, by maybe uploading three chapters or something - and its only fair. But most of them?

Nothing happened. I was just busy.

Look, I understand that you're busy and have a life, but the LEAST YOU COULD DO IS -

*best friend grabs hand and tells me to calm down*.

The ones who say no to Compliments (not really an apology but, whatever)

In life, a certain type of person that pisses me off are these ones. You've probably got one or two friends who are like that and it drives you insane!

It does for me, at least.

"Hey!" I say. "You look so pretty!"

"No, I don't!"

"You do!"

"I don't! My dress is so ugly, my legs are ugly!"

THEN WHY DID YOU FUCKING WEAR A MINI SKIRT YOU IDIOT OMFG

WHERE IS THE WORD

WHERE IS THE WORD THANK YOU

WHY DON'T YOU KNOW IT

WHY

And this kind of behaviour is now being spotted on wattpad, mainly by popular authors who try not to be modest.

Look. You're not full of yourself. You're not narcissitic if you say "Thank you!" to a compliment, because you're actually a good writer, not "omg I'm not but you're really sweet!"

I CAN'T DEAL I'M JUST GOING TO EAT SOME CHOCOLATE OR SOMETHING

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Any of you have things about Wattpad that drive you crazy? Don't hesitate to message me, I'd love to write them on here!

Stay amazing, I love you guys *lean in for group hug*.

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Comment "AGITATED DISTURBED AND TORMENTED" if you read this far in a day.

If not, just tag someone who's never read this book.

K then