Why Wattpad Drives Me Crazy | ✔️

39| Distinguish, I cannot

Lol does the sentence structure of this rant's title intrigue you

And does the word intrigue also intrigue you

Okay, I'll get right on with it.

::

Today I will complain about some wattpad writers who, when writing, cannot understand that they and the protagonist are not the same person.

With this mere fact that they don't understand it, we basically end up reading more about the author himself (or herself, #DoNotAngerTheFeminists) through the way the character is speaking

Okay, why am I being so formal? *switches rant mode on*

like seriously, k, I'll be reading a decent narration of a morning scene or whatever then next it's a fucking opinion on Selena Gomez or some shit like that. Then it'll morph into Brazilian carnival then Louis Armstrong, then KUWTK. Then the protagonist will then say, "Anyway, I'm getting off track."

THIS ONLY WORKS IN NON-FICTION BOOKS OKAY

like on this rant book, I can divert and go off course and THAT'S OKAY

but it's not when you're fucking writing a story with fictitious characters

and one thing that's common is that they indirectly ask for the reader's thoughts on certain issues and things through the narrator. Like they engage and try to interact with the reader and stuff. See, there's no problem in doing that, WHEN IT'S IN AN AUTHOR'S NOTE.

But when it's part of the book?

Naaa, mate. Just naaa.

Why, you ask? It's because the character is in his or her own world k, not ours

Hahaha but some of those fan fics lol, we all know that the author's fantasies are disguised as a story

Pahaha

Not going to focus on fanfics though

But like

THE AUTHOR AND THE CHARACTER ARE NOT ONE AND THE SAME PERSON.

Example, you say?
*looks around room for raised hands.*

Looks like the votes were unanimous!

Lol I'm the only one who voted

Or was I? #rigged

Example, it is:)

::

I sat in Mr. Hunter's Geography lesson, bored as hell. But I know what you're thinking, yea, "OMG HE'S CALLED HUNTER SO HE'S SO HOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!" But nope! And I pop the 'p' while I say that, because you're wrong, lol, you're smiling to yourself now, then now you're frowning because you weren't actually smiling, but now you are because you see how stupid it is.

Sat across from me was a hot guy and my forever crush, Colton. He was so sexy...I'd kiss him and stuff. But no sex. I've never had sex. What's the deal with teenagers and sex anyway, I don't think sex is really important to the overall and emotional well being of a human. I know it's in Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs, whatever, but I HONESTLY DON'T BELIEVE THAT OKAY? PEOPLE CAN HAVE THEIR CHOICES.

"Earthquakes cause such havoc and wreckage," Mr. Hunter said. Wreckage is so weird. Reminds me of Miley Cyrus on her wrecking ball! How did you think of that song, I thought it wasn't so bad but it's getting overplayed and it's not the best thing seeing her naked all the time

And finally President Tyler signed the bill to make it illegal for people to use FaceBook. I think that it was so dumb of him, because like political legislation jurisdiction insert big lawyer words here to express opinion. Anyway, I'm getting off track.

Colton threw a note at me. It flew, then hit my head. Did you know that it could have been fatal okay. The hypothalamus and the frontal lobe as shit. Dunno, I just like being random!

I wonder what it said? I opened up the scrambled up piece of paper.

And boy, was I shocked.

::

Okay I liked the ending

And I may have exaggerated a little.

BUT GAAHH WHEN READING STORIES LIKE THAT

GAAHH

GAHHH

JUST..

Gaah:|

I always feel like I never explain clearly.

But meh

I've come across too many stories that aren't bad, but this is their only issue! The writer forgets what or who s/he's writing (in wattpad's case, a 16 year old female) and butts in their big butts into it (in wattpad's case, the authors are usually....sixteen...fuck this)

Just get this, yea

character is divorced from author; and author is divorced from character.

Get it?

Sometimes I understand that your characters may be loosely be based on you as an actual person, and you may actually intend for them to be a different version of you. That's good. But what's NOT good is when you get carried away and begin your own little rants inside a book about vampires or something

Because as the reader, we can clearly see that it's not the character speaking

It's fucking you (the author)

And it's not like we don't already get enough from you in those Author's Notes lol

::

So be a good writer: let us fall into and in love with the world of the amazing new person you've created for us to read about

and maybe eventually, we'll fall in love with you, the real person/author, too.

#GeniusInspiration