Why Wattpad Drives Me Crazy | ✔️

28| Orbs and Pops

Orbs and Pops

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So this ran will be about two different things

But they both piss me off

So let's get them out of the way.

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Have you noticed how every hot guy on watt pad has "orbs"?

It's so fucking annoying I mean never in my life have I used 'orbs' in a conversation

"Hello, hot guy, you have lovely ey--"

"Orbs. They're orbs."

Oh. Okay then.

Orbs.

-_-

I paid a visit to the dictionary today. An actual, hard copy, paperback dictionary. Not google.

Decided to look up the word orb.

Orb, noun

1. an ornamental sphere with a cross on top, carried by a king or queen in important ceremonies.

[Oh look at that, guys. Harry Styles has magical green orbs. ]

2. a sphere; globe.

[When Harry said your orbs are his whole world, he literally meant it. ]

3. {obsolete or poetic} a heavenly body, such as the sun.

[Your orbs shine like the sun. ]

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Okay, maybe it also says that poetically, an orb may refer to the eye, but it wasn't the first meaning (it was third).

But you're not writing a poem here okay

It's not fucking poetic

If anything, the word eyes is so much better.

You see, it's made of mainly vowel sounds, which means that when you say it is somewhat seems elongated.

Which is rather poetic. A bit like water running: endless, relentless...unfathomable.

Think about it. 'Orbs' is so short and precise. But 'eyes', goddamn

The first time I saw him, he had the most beautiful orbs I'd ever seen.

The first time I saw him, he has the most beautiful eyes I'd ever seen.

Okay screw this emotional bullshit but it makes sense, okay

Orbs is just an ugly word

It sounds like a noisy fart

And it's always the guy who has orbs. Never the girl, never the girl.

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Part II: POPS

So the second part of this rant is another thing this pisses the hell out of me

CAN YOU STOP POPPING P's OKAY

LIKE I SEE THIS EVERYWHERE NOW:

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"Will you tell me?" I asked

"Nope," he said, popping the 'p'.

Nope?" I echoed, popping the 'p' too.

"Nope." He confirmed. Popping the -

FUCKING HELL OKAY FUCK YOU DON'T YOU DARE SAY IT

It was cool at first but now it's so annoying

Like Harry Styles be popping the p's every time he says no

Just stahhp k

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Lol I have to go the dentist
Fuck my life