Why Wattpad Drives Me Crazy | ✔️

16| The Real Vampires

The Real Vampires (with a slight reference to One Direction)

Oh and, dedicated to max81968 (why so many numbers?!) because he can successfully name ALL the one direction members, which is an award-winning trait.

And also because his comments make me laugh:)

MY FAVOURITE MEMBER IS NIALL, GUYS. 

::

I wanted to name this chapter 'the Originals', then I realised that I wasn't going to be talking about Klaus (marry me pls) and Elijah, so I stuck with 'The Real Vampires'.

It's just as cool, guys.

How many of you have read Dracula? Dracula, anyone? By Bram Stoker?

I'd have to say that that was the real deal. I loved reading it, each and every page of it, where a few things made sense:

(i) people were TERRIFIED of these supernatural beings with a thirst for human blood.

(ii) people UNDERSTOOD that they (or Dracula) were to be killed because he did bad things to people.

(iii) Dracula was cool.

I really suggest you read it, so that all this VAMPIRE SHIT can go back into the dust bin. Or toilet, for that matter.

Because it's so shit.

Of course, it started with the one and only:

Twilight Series.

Stephenie Meyer thought that it'd be a good idea to completely deplete the 'scary' factor that made vampires so thrilling and replace it with a thin, frail, sparkling, sad excuse for one.

She made them have feelings and so much stupid shit and we know that they feed on the humans in the city. She just put in animals to make it less inhumane.

But why, Stephenie? Why?

Did you not foresee that you planted this forlorn idea in teenage girls' head that their Prince Charming was a sexy ready-made vampire who would inevitably turn them into vampires too so that they could spend forever together?!

And now, the original Dracula is long gone. Instead are pathetic guys who aren't in the least best anything like vampires.

Wattpad, unfortunately, has joined this sad endemic. The twilight plague had subsequently led to the splitting up of it's fans into two groups: Vampire-lovers and Werewolf-lovers. This then influenced these two fucking popular genres on wattpad.

WHY ARE THEY POPULAR OMG

And as much as each book in these genres pledge to be 'different', they're all the same:

> Girl meets mysterious guy.
> She's the only one who sees that he's different.
> He's drawn to her for some weird ass reason even though he's lived for 500 years and could have been with a million other girls.
> She has to decide between mortality and immortality.
> Because she's only a teenager and nothing else in her life matters (including family, school, friends, beautiful foods like pizza), she makes the penultimate decision to be a vampire because she so understands what true love is.
> Upon making this decision, everything else subsides and all that is left is her and her vampire lover, making love 24/7 while they could have been working out the cure for AIDS or something (because I'm sure that would affect then too. Stephenie, did you think of that?)

When it's a werewolf story I don't fucking know what even happens, probably conflict in who should be 'alpha' or some shitty shit like that. Meh.

But, anyway, can someone please tell me what's so amazing about these stupid vampires that draws you to them? Is it their sex appeal? Their "badassness" (it's not really that badass, saying they love people or whatever)?

Or is it just because you're so desperate?

These authors have no existing knowledge on actual vampires. What books and series like Twilight or the Vampire Diaries (Ian Somerhalder, marry me pls, we can get into polygamous marriage with Joseph Morgan pls pls) is that they disbanded all the myths about vampires and made them super invincible.

Unless they were burned.

But that kind of kills everyone, doesn't it.

Throw in One Direction in the mix, and this is what you get. True story, by the way. It's so depressing how fan fiction is being merged with fucking vampire and werewolf shit. What are these people trying to aim for?

I lay in my room, wondering when my vampire love would show up. According to my calculations and combining data from all the series I'd watched, he would be a sexy, British guy, around 1700 years old, who could play the harpsichord and more modernly accordion.

I knew he'd be amazing.

I slept soundly that night, until I heard something stare at me. I woke up with a start.

"Shhh," he said, putting his finger on my mouth.

"I'm not scared," I said. "I'm ready. Bite me."

"I want to, but I can't." He reveals his face. "I'm Harry Styles. Shhh."

"I love you. I've been waiting my whole life for you." I said, kissing him softly.

"Me too."

FUCKING HELL HE'S LIVED FOR 1700 YEARS WHAT KIND OF BULLSHIT IS THAT

"I love your music. I knew you were a vampire in the way you sang." Nobody else had noticed, except me.

"I love you."

"Bite me."

::

What? No kiss first? I feel so ripped off.

I have so much more hate for these stupid vampires of today, I'll probably do another rant on it later on. I'm just too lazy right now.

Vote, comment, message me. I like messages from you guys.

Oh and, thank you so much for 1.6K reads, that's crazy :O

I feel like I need to start putting a sign to show conclusion in the chapter.

Dots, Max?

::