Deathly Kisses

50. "Just relax"

Chp50. "Just relax"

Songs of the chapter:

All I Ever Need- Austin Mahone

A Little Death- The Neiughbourhood

Flawless- The Neighborhood

It Won't Stop- Sevyn Streeter ft. Chris Brown

R U Mine?- Artic Monkeys

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Austin's Point Of View

She was there. So perfect. So fragile. So innocent. So fucking sexy. And I just couldn't take it. In old times, I would feel like such a pussy having a girl make me feel these type of ways. All so different, all so addictive. The way her eyes have that gleam sparkle that I swear, could light up my dark messed up of a life you can call, and make all my demons disappear right then and there.

I didn't care much about anyone. Fuck, I didn't care about anything to be straight up blunt with it. This though? This was different. I didn't know if it was for the bad or for the better. Putting myself into this kind of position, where I'm giving my all to one single person. Where I am constantly putting someone else that wasn't my own self, first. It was unsual, and I had crossed my heart and hoped to die- that I would never do that again. Something so foolish- something that could lead to a wreck. And just look at me now...

I'm here. She's here. And I put her above anything else at this point. No hesitation, no anything. And that scares me to the point where I might just end up closing myself out again. And I don't want that. Becoming that helpless stupid guy I used to be. Not after I finally opened up to one person that means a whole lot to me. God dammit, I'm scared. I'm not going to deny it this time as I usually tend to do. I'm terrified, I really am. And I don't even know of what exactly. I can't come up with the right words to even describe it. I'm blank.

She gives me slight smile and I lose it completely. Thankfully before anything, Mia gets inside the car before she noticed how weak she had made me due to that one simple action of hers. Cause only knows that if she had still be standing there, I'd do the unbelievable to her.

Control yourself for fucks sake! I try to tell myself but I simply can't. Nor do I want to for that matter either. Exhaling a deep breath, I get inside the car myself, ready for whatever the rest of the night has instore for us. In deep thought I start my range rover to get us the hell out of here. In that moment I can feel everything.

The way my breathing hasn't stopped fucking around with me. The way my hair is probably a damn mess from pulling on it a few seconds ago. How Mia is all calmly sitting beside me, looking damn carefree even though I know myself for a fact that she surely isn't. My damn sweaty palms wrapped all around the steering wheel.

With myself, I was debating whether to just take Mia home instead and call it a night. Then again, I was backing myself out on that idea as well. So many thoughts rushing that I couldn't get a simple break. I was feeling weaker by the moment and that was unlike me. I love Mia. Fuck that, I am in love with her. And I don't want her to do anything she doesn't want to do. I'd be fine with that really. As much as it is what I want, I don't want to hurt her. Better yet make her feel like she has to do anything.

I made a left turn and before anything else I parked the car. But once the car stopped so did I. I took the keys out of the ignition and the was the only move I had made so far, besides sitting back on my seat and staring ahead. For a quick moment I closed my eyes and everything was just gone and all left was myself here. That didn't last long though. A few seconds later Mia adjusted herself in her seat, bringing me back to our current situation.