Deathly Kisses

29. "Your mistakes are going to eat you alive"

Chp29. "Your mistakes are going to eat you alive"







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Dedicated to- DanaRosbacka because her comment made me happy :)


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- Austin's Point Of View -






I closed the door to Mia's room right behind me. And right away everything turned into silence, leaving only the empty thoughts inside me left. I made my way down the stairs since I was pretty sure I wasn't going to be sleeping in Damon's room tonight. Being more than positive that by now he hated me, but I could honestly care less.


I know that I should probably be more respectful to him and Stella since I am staying in their house. But I couldn't, I just couldn't. It wasn't that I wasn't trying because believe me, I surely was. But I had a really short tempter that did not want to be tested. Damon out of all people should know this, yet he still tested me. And that was one thing I did not take too well. I always win, no matter- I always do, no doubt in that.


Either way it wasn't like Damon had a choice. He owed me, owed me big time for way too many things I did for him in the past. So even if I was frustrating him, which I knew I was- it wasn't like he could just kick me out. Nether less Mia as well. It didn't work that way.


Maybe if he didn't push my buttons so much there wouldn't be any conflicts.


"Where are you going?" I heard a feminine voice ask me. Making me completely forget what the hell I was thinking of and lose track of my mind for a second. It was Stella. One thing I couldn't stand about staying here was her in general.


And I thought Cora was a pain in the ass.


I brought my hands up to my face and rubbed my temples with my fingers. "Not now, Stella." I said between gritted teeth. It was at a point where everything she would say or do would annoying the living shit out of me.


There were times where she would do absolutely nothing but I would just get completely pissed off. It was the way I am. The way she made me. I was tired of feeling sorry for myself, I was so fucking tired of everything- of her. I would have thought that by now she would completely be out of my life for good, but I guess I was wrong.


Stella however, continued to block my way, not letting me pass by. I shut my hands into fists feeling myself getting heated by the second. She knows best not to fuck with me. Because she knows damn well I am not myself when I'm angry- better yet I'm not even myself now. My old self.


"I just asked where you were going." She informed me giving me one of her usual looks. One of the many looks I always used to fall for. The look that at one point would drive me crazy, begging for more. That look that I caused me to fall in deeply under her spell. But those days are far over now.



"I don't care what the fuck you asked. Just get out of my way." Shoving my body full force, I made my way passed her as our shoulders touched slightly. She gave a little gasp as I did.



Stella followed me right behind as I made my way to the living room where some bed covers and a pillow were there on the couch for my use. Well at least Damon didn't forget that.


She folded her arms across her chest. "Why are you acting like this?" She asked me.


Here we go again.


I was used to the shit she tried to pull. Ever since I had finally brought myself to let her go fully; she hasn't left me alone. Sometimes I do consider going back to her, to try things out again. But then I remind myself all the shit she had put me through right when I needed her the most. It wasn't worth it. She was definitely not worth it.


I scoffed pathetically. Taking off my black beanie, I threw it on the floor as I ruffled my hair with my hand. "Are you really going to ask me why I'm acting the way I do?"


Stella stayed silent, as she stared at me. She made sure to study me clearly, to try to figure me out. Well that's impossible now. I came to a state where I blocked everyone and everything out. I was so tired of being hurt and fooled by, I even called myself a pussy so many times for being so weak and pathetic. I worked so hard for this- to finally be able to feel nothing. It felt good I shall add. No one can hurt you, no one can do anything anymore. Because it's you- it's you who has all the power now; I'm in control. And no one, especially her, is going to take that away from me.


She took a few closer steps towards me. "I told you once and I'm going to tell you this one last time-" her voice was soft but clearly strong as I felt her body heat circling by me. Her eyes made sure to control mine as I looked at her standing right in front of me, trying her best to look fearless. "I didn't do this to you..." She gestured her hand up and down to my entire body. "- you did this all yourself."


"You ruined me."


A cruel cold laugh escaped her pink lips, causing me to cringe. "That's what you always say." Stella tilted her head slightly to the right as she pouted her lips slowly. "But did you forget at some point I made you complete?" She concluded.


That was something I couldn't deny, the truth. She did complete me- she was my world. And after being so broken and left alone with all the pieces left for you to fix yourself, she was my wall. The wall I counted to lean on when I needed support. But that wall didn't last, right before it started crumbling down on me. The funny thing out of all of this was, I blamed myself. I blamed myself for her- for my fathers death. It was all because of me.


Maybe I did do this to myself...



I didn't reply, at least not now. There were too many memories, though some were actually good but the bad ones overcame that. I unfolded the blankets and placed them there neatly for my later use. I ran a hand through my face frustrated and tiredly. I just wanted to sleep through this shit.


I sighed and turned to finally face Stella, her lips were still formed together into a thin line. "Yeah you were." I spoke faintly trying my hardest to stay calm and not lose it completely. "But we were no good for each other in the end, you knew and I knew. Whatever we had was toxic." Lastly I stepped closer to her in order to make sure Stella heard me loud and clear. "You were a mistake, and I learned from it."


"Don't lie to yourself." Her voice raised immediately, that had caught me entirely off guard. "We need each other. I know you miss me as much as I miss you- I can fix this." Coming closer to me she pressed her arms against my chest. "We can fix us."


"Stop." I demanded sternly pulling her hands away from me. But she denied, her body came closer into mine.


"Just think about it..." Stella placed one of her hands on my cheek leaving it there to rest. It was warm. My eyes- who were looking towards the ground raised up to meet hers. And in a quick flash her eyes showed me Stella, the old Stella I always knew and loved.



She's messing with your head again.



The next few seconds were a blur. Her lips were pressed up against mine and I was kissing her back. At the point I couldn't seem to help it. It had brought me to old times, the old times when it was only us and nothing else mattered. Wasting no time she shoved me against the couch, as she got on top of me.


Austin, she's doing it again.


I don't care.


She's going to make you fall...


Not like it's new to me, it happened before.


And you're gonna go through the same shit you just pulled yourself out of.



We learn from mistakes. But I need another time around to actually learn this time.



Your mistakes are going to eat you alive.


And you will be alone, like before- like always.



Only this time, you won't be able to find yourself. You'll be lost forever.



It was like I was fighting with myself. One part of me wanted to go back to the way it was before. And another was telling me it was wrong. And I knew that it was wrong, I was wrong. I knew. I knew. I knew...



In a heartbeat reality struck like lighting, making me come to my senses. This was what she did, what she was good at. She was manipulative. I was tired of being trapped in Stella's web. Her web of lies and wicked games. I had finally gotten myself out of the mess and I surely wasn't planning on going back. Fast enough I parted my lips away from hers and shoved her away from me, making her stumble back a little. Her eyes were roaming me and only me, wondering why my sudden action.


It was nothing, nothing like I felt before. It was just unpleasant. I'll say somehow it first brought me back to the times were everything was okay, but the was in the eye of the hurricane. And the hurricane was back, striking ten times harder; trying to knock me down.


"I think you need to go." I spoke not looking her in the eyes, because there was no need to. I was in no need of her in general. Stella's eyes didn't change, they stayed exactly the same. Licking her lips she pushed a piece of her hair to the back of her ear. And finally she left the room leaving me and my shit to solve alone all over again.


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It was around four in the morning when I woke up. Everything was pitched black, I couldn't see a single thing. I really needed to pee badly and one thing I hated was being comfortable and having to use the fucking bathroom. I really didn't want to get up but I really needed to go.


Groaning annoyingly I pulled the covers away from my body as the cold air quickly hit, giving me shivers all over. Remembering the bathroom downstairs was near Stella's room I made a choice to use the bathroom upstairs instead.


It was still dark but I used the flashlight from my phone to see my way clearly, making sure I didn't fall and hurt myself. My leg still hurts from that idiot Brandon from a while back. I didn't need another injury to say the least.


It was a semi struggle managing myself to walk up the stairs considering I was still half asleep, but I pulled through. Finally reaching the top I made my way to the bathroom but something had stopped me. Something wasn't right.


I walked back to the room where Mia was currently staying at- which I had passed by. The door was completely wide open. What the hell is going on? I may not had known Mia for long but I know that the girl is too paranoid to leave the door open, especially in the situation we were in. I needed to check up on her to see if everything was alright. I just needed to, if I were to just ignore it; I know damn well the thought of never checking up on her will haunt me until I actually do. It was something that needed to be done.


I took steps making sure I didn't make a sound along the way. I opened the door a little wider making it creak as I walked inside.


"Mia?" I asked around.


No answer.


"Mia?" I tried again a little louder this time, in case she was sleeping she could just wake up and everything would be fine.


Still no answer.


I furrowed my eyebrows in confusion to why the hell she wasn't responding. I reached her bed and used the flashlight from my phone to light up the entire place. My eyes widened in surprise to see an empty bed. The bed was fucking empty, with absolutely no Mia. In fact the whole room was empty, and no sign of her.


"Shit." I hissed under my breath.


I quickly dropped my phone not caring and ran by the door to flick the lights on. "Fuck!" I cursed loudly once I saw no one sight, not caring who the hell was sleeping and who wasn't.


After I searched the entire house desperately, even outside. Mia still was nowhere to be found.


Rushing back upstairs, I needed to come up with a plan. I had no idea what the hell was happening but I was ready to end it. "Damon!" I screamed, I waited but no one came rushing in.


I don't need his fucking help anyways.



I rushed back into Mia's room, picking my phone from the floor I quickly searched for my contacts. I pressed one single contact in particular; I called the only person who could probably help me.



"Cora, it's me-" I spoke once the line picked up. "I need your help."







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