Deathly Kisses

38. "It was a one-way street"

Chp38. "It was a one-way street"





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Dedicated to- MahonesGalaxy because her amazing comment made me laugh.

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The nerves went rushing through my body every second they could, not making anything any easier. It was strange I should say, things were moving too fast for me. But I wasn't really complaining I've been waiting so long for this- for this very moment. And I have had everything leading up to this point, to this day. It seemed like only yesterday was the first everything for me. It was still too surreal to take in. It was a pure bliss of happiness yet in an unpleasant form of anxiety. It was simply a feeling of apprehension. Stressing over this, worrying wether something would go wrong and just ruin the moment- my moment.

I gave the dress one last look before finally satisfying myself with it. The red vibrant color was most definitely eye catching, something I did not usually go for. I liked simple colors that would fit in and not attract me much attention, I liked things nice and simple. However this dress was the total opposite. And for once I agreed with my mother that this was the one. The sparkle it gave was my favorite. It wasn't over the top really, in fact it was a nice long gown that I fell in love with once I spotted it. It was a must have.

"Are you sure Amelia?" Mom spoke beside me, breaking my concentration from the dress to look at her. She gave me one of the usual looks she always gave when she was making sure of something. I've gotten so used to her looks.

I sighed feeling myself getting more frustrated from her asking me the same question for the millionth time now. "Yes, mom..." I nodded, "I'm sure."

"Okay." She nodded in return. "I guess we finally found your graduation dress."

"I guess so." I smiled sweetly over to mom.

Soon after mom started digging in that big purse of hers, I swear almost anything could get lost in there. Taking the car keys from her purse she handed them to me. "You can wait in the car while I finish here." She said.

I followed her orders and made my way over to the door from the shop and finally out of there. It felt like we've been there for hours and hours when in reality mom was making me try on so many different dresses right after I had told her specifically that I wanted the red one. Subsequently right after the tenth dress she then listened to me. It took her long enough. Making my way around the parking lot it was quite hard finding our car until I eventually did. Unlocking the door I got inside and right away I turned on the engine. Making everything come to life with the sound of music coming from the radio.

I sat there in my seat completely still with no movement. Tomorrow. And after tomorrow, it was over- not coming back. I was actually graduating tomorrow. It was a bittersweet feeling that wouldn't go away. Because efficiently enough, things were gonna change from the point on- and some would not be for the better.


It was a one-way street.


One way-as in you only move in one direction and there's no turning back, that's life. I know I should be happy that I have the opportunity to actually get that diploma of mines in my own hands, but like I had said before... Things are different. That meant making decisions on my own, some that I clearly won't be able to handle. Also barely seeing Macy and Drew considering Macy would be moving to California while Drew will stay back here in Pennsylvania, and I? Well I will be on my way to Miami, leaving mom and everything else behind. Leaving my old life behind and starting off new. And lastly not seeing him anymore.

It wasn't like there was anything between Austin and I, but still I wanted him all to myself. I really hated myself for feeling this way. Why the hell must I be so stupid? I was played, I need to accept the fact that Austin didn't care nor will he ever. Not just that but he only helped me- and it might have been out of his own will but after that everything was supposed to go back to normal. Where we would go back to pretending neither of us knew who each other was or better yet ever have even met. But then here is that side of me who was too dumb to let go. That side simply didn't want to let go and till this day I hate myself for it.

I've seen it happen way too often around with Austin. It's what he does, so why in the world did I ever think it could possibly be any different with me. Because news flash, it wasn't. I hated him- but mostly, I hated myself. It was nothing but mixed unwanted feelings. And after my mom had seen me with him things took a different turn. I didn't stay away from Austin, I'm fact I think I may have spent endless time with him. I even skipped school with him for crying out loud, something I do not do. It was a mess- I was a mess. And then after, it dropped like it was nothing. And trust me, it was pretty hard keeping everything on the low from Drew and Macy, but most especially mom. I managed for a while until he disappeared.

Just like that, one day he was here and the next he wasn't. Austin didn't show up, or maybe he did but I just didn't see him around. I hadn't heard from him, nothing... He was missing in action.

I had been so caught up with my mind that I didn't even noticed mom was already inside the car already driving. Things like these have been happening too much lately, I was so off somewhere always- always drowning in my own complicated thoughts. I wish things would go back to being so simple- when there was no such thing as growing up in my world, when the only thing I'd have to worry about was what to play during recesses, when I had everything- when I was truly happy.


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That night was long-lasting. Either it felt that way or it was the fact that I couldn't sleep whatsoever. No matter how much tried my body, mind and eyes didn't seem to want to agree with me. I hated how I had to think of a simple little thing to bring up all of this other things that would cause me no absolute sleep. It was repulsive. I think I eventually fell asleep maybe around two in the morning, something you shouldn't do the night before your big graduation day.

The whole day was already planned out. After graduation early in the morning, every senior was headed to Drew's house. He had decided to throw this 'last official goodbye party' for everyone, or so that's what he had said. His words, not mine. And of course as everyone knows Drew, you can say it could be a pretty big thing. And then after that, everyone goes their own separate way. Kinda scary to think about.

"Amelia?" I heard a faint knock on my bedroom door, followed by mom's voice once again. "Sweetie, are you ready?" Her voice was calm and smoothing, easing up on my nerves just a tad bit. Seconds later the door opened revealing mom.

It took my an endless amount of time for me to get ready. Waking up early was clearly not in my dictionary. And not just that but the fact from no sleep last night- it had caused me horrible bags under my eyes. Something you do not want on your graduation day. It took an awful load amount of concealer to cover that up. I needed to look decent today.

"Yeah mom," standing up from my desk, I made my way over to mom real carefully hoping I wouldn't mess anything up. "I just need help with the zipper on my dress." I stood in front of my mother with my back towards her, waiting for her to zip the back on my dress and I will be all ready.

The zipper on the dress did not zip simply because mom wasn't moving at all. Saying she was speechless would be an understatement. "Oh god Amelia, you look beautiful. I can't believe you're all grown up." She gushed.

"Mom... Please don't." I let out a simple quiet laugh along with my words.

"Okay, okay- I'll stop." I could tell she was smiling even though I wasn't really facing her. I then finally felt the zipper on my dress zip. "You are one strong gir- woman. I'm proud of you Amelia."
She said, helping me put on the last part to complete the outfit, my graduating gown. It was gold- school colors. And the guys had to wear blue instead.

After those words, mom had left me all alone in my room. And those words were something I couldn't accept, especially coming from my own mother.

And it wasn't what mom said that had caused me at such unexpected and uncomfortable feelings, it was also something else. It was Austin. And right as soon as we arrived to our ideal destination- there he was. In an all black suit, looking as himself and as perfect as ever. Something I was dreading.

Taking my seat along with Macy and Drew, Austin was only a few away. It didn't make any sense though, after missing school for so long how can he still be able to graduate. And it wasn't really like he needed to graduate, he didn't need anything. It seemed he already had his whole life sorted out. He didn't need a job for money because clearly he already had. Austin's life was something so unusual. It's like enigma, puzzling, something difficult to understand. But he had his ways, he had his ways for everything- he always had his ways.

But it wasn't just only those things that were still a mystery, it was also his feelings- Austin in general. I guess I'll never really fix those Lego pieces together to build what makes up Austin Mahone. And I realized I couldn't stand to be in a room with Austin in it as well, because unfortunately my feelings couldn't cooperate with me. And things took a worse turn in the situation every time my heart would speed up, probably skipping beats.

I needed to look at him, I don't know why really- but I felt the need to. And in the same moment, I turned my head slightly to a few seats where Austin was seated- hoping to catch him. And when I did, I swear, things didn't go as I had planned. My feelings were scattered all over the place. Hatred yet neediness. But everything blocked itself out once Austin's eyes landed on me and only me. Catching not only my attention but possibly my breathing as well.




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NEW DEATHLY KISSES VIDEO IS UP!! "Who is Mia Evans" it's literally perfect. I did NOT make the video.
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