Deathly Kisses

37. "I was stuck in a daydream"

Chp37. "I was stuck in a daydream"






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Dedicated to- mahonescandid for her comment and being an amazing reader


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It had been quite a long while since that day at the parking lot with Austin. Right after that, things started to fade I guess. I barely saw Austin at school nowadays- and to be completely honest is did not know wether I liked it or not. I was yet still to decide. I was sure he came to school everyday- according to the running mouths of everyone, so him skipping school couldn't be the reason I didn't see him often. And not just that but he had also switched out of my art class. I was surprised I shall say, it's the end of the year and in less than four weeks we'll be graduating. Usually they wouldn't let you switch one of your classes at this time, it was far too late. But it seemed that it didn't matter when it came to Austin since now he was no longer in my art class.


Was he avoiding me?...


There were a few times where I would see him though. But those few times only caused me hatred and heated arguments between us. The rare occasions I would see Austin in, he would always have some random chick by his side- following him everywhere. I couldn't say that it didn't bother me because matter of fact it did, it really did bother me. It bothered me a lot. And if he wasn't flirting with some girl or sharing his saliva with hers- then there wasn't much to it.


Like I had said, I barely saw him. Of course there were a few times where he would appear walking down the hallway and we would pass each other. But he would always do the one thing Austin always used to do... He ignored me. Just like old times, exactly the same way he always did before anything had happened. I was invisible to him all over again. I wasn't really sure how I felt about this. It was most mixed emotions, really. But one thing was for sure- I hated feeling ignored.

"C'mon Mia, it won't be the same without you." Macy whined right beside me. For once I didn't complain over Macy's usual annoying whine, in fact I was glad to hear it. I was finally on good terms with Macy again and I was more than happy.

"I already told you. I'm fine here, New York isn't that great anyways." Shrugging carelessly placing my books back inside my bag.

I was lying. Obviously I wanted to go to New York, who wouldn't? But I just couldn't. It was just that I was afraid- terrified to be specific. Right now it didn't feel like the time to leave home. I know I needed it but it didn't seem right, and this time I was actually going to listen to my conscience. Besides, living in Pennsylvania wasn't all that bad. And it wasn't like I was going to live here for the rest of my life- after graduation I had everything already planned out. I had already gotten accepted into a great university in Florida. It was the perfect place to forget everything and finally start all over, I was taking every opportunity.

Macy shook her head and placed her hand on my shoulder before speaking. "So you're just going to spend your whole spring break sitting at home all day?" She asked.

"Pretty much." I nodded.

"But Why?"

"Why not?" I shrugged again. "Besides, what are you and Drew going to do in New York for a whole week? It's spring break... Shouldn't you go to the beach instead?"

And it was true, most normal teenagers would go somewhere nice and warm for spring break. I really didn't understand why Drew and Macy wanted to go to New York instead, or better yet want me to tag along. And it wasn't like it was just going to be the three of us. In fact it was a whole group, a whole group of people judging me the whole trip. I really didn't need that. Ever since coming back home, everyone looked at me differently and I did not like it one bit.


"Mia it's New York. Who doesn't want to go to New York?" The sound of the last bell rang interrupting Macy. She rolled her eyes and continued on away. "You have to go, it won't be the same without you." She said pouting like a little kid who didn't manage to get their way.

Quickly I stood up from my seat ready to just get out of here and go home. I stretched my body slightly, sitting in that chair for almost two hours was most definitely torture. "You and Drew have fun." And that was the last thing I had said before walking away and leaving Macy there standing all alone.

It was still weird how fast time was moving. In a matter of time it will be graduation day. And it felt like it was just yesterday that I had walked into these same doors as a freshman. It was surreal. I pushed the doors making my way outside, watching everyone interact with their friends. Moments like these it really made me want to reconsider staying at home all spring break. But it wasn't like it would be a lifetime, instead it's only a week- no harm done.

Mom had decided this morning she was going to pick me up from school. It wasn't like she had a choice anyway because really, she didn't. Drew was mostly always my ride home and since he's flying to New York tonight, he had a few hours to pack. Let's just say that he's very slow at doing things, not to mention he has a passion for doing everything at the last minute. So therefore mom was stuck picking me up. I wasn't complaining at all, I was actually thankful. Anything just not to walk home. A chilly breeze quickly hit making my hair turn into a mess. It was April and yet sometimes we would have those days where it felt like winter. I couldn't really explain it. The weather was always bipolar, just exactly like someone I knew far too well.

There's a saying- 'speak of the devil and it shall appear.' I guess it really didn't occur to me what it meant until it actually happened. I swear, it was every single time that I was alone he would appear. I was getting so sick and tired. The school was pretty big so I didn't exactly understand why at times like these he always had to show up. After not seeing him for a while- after not talking to him, and the only conversations turned into ignorant arguments. I was over it, over everything that had to do with him. He could do whatever he wants for all I care- but it seems like he's been doing just that. He's going back to his usual old ways, or maybe he never really left them.

"What are you doing here?" I sighed irritated, I already had an exact feeling of what was to come. I was surprised to see him all by himself and not with some girl by his side.


"Calm down, trust me Mia- you're the last person I want to see right now." Austin's voice came out quite harsh and right away something told me he was in one of his usual moods again. But with him, when wasn't he?

I didn't bother to reply back, it would only be a waste of time. Recently things were going better than I had hoped and I wasn't going to mess it up. In fact, I wasn't going to let anyone- especially Austin, ruin that for me. I stuffed my hands back into the small pockets of my light pink cardigan, trying my best to ignore Austin all together. But let's face it, it was basically impossible to ignore him. As much as I tried it would always come out to be a challenge. Because lately, Austin has been a real challenge for me to handle. And it wasn't like he did anything in particular- it was just the thought of him that wouldn't let me go. Believe me, I tried. But everything was like a web that I was trapped in. No matter how many times I tried to get myself out, I would always end back to the
same place over and over- nowhere.

The tension started to build up even more by the second as I waited for my mother to just hurry up and take me home. And Austin's presence was causing my heart to speed up. He was only barely getting inside his range rover, but either way being in a place with only Austin and I; it made me panic and become so weak. It was pathetic- I was pathetic.

"Want a ride?" Austin said, placing his bag in the backseat before closing the door shut. "I wouldn't mind."


I was hesitant at first. But the one thing I questioned the most was probably when my body decided to hop inside Austin's range rover. Obviously my mind didn't make that decision but instead my body had seemed to have decided for me. I sat there awkwardly in the passenger seat next to Austin without a single word coming out my mouth. It hadn't even occurred to me about mom or how she was supposed to give me a ride and not Austin. But I guess it was too late for that now.

Austin hadn't even turned on the engine yet. Instead we just sat there silently while the full on tension seemed to be devouring not just me but Austin as well. But that didn't last too long because right after, Austin let out a faint chuckle. Breaking the silence he chuckled again only this time it was a little louder than the first time.

My eyebrows furrowed in confusion to this sudden act. "What's so funny?" I questioned curiously, looking over at him.

Austin whom was looking down at his lap, then slowly brought his head up to turn to my direction. "You know..." He started off right away once his eyes were placed on me, making full eye contact- something in which we haven't done in a while.

Austin quickly stopped for a brief second hesitant to speak but soon after continued on anyways. "I think this is how we fully met." He spoke.

"What do you mean?" My voice squeaked, turning my cheeks a light shade of red. But I knew exactly what he meant, I just wanted him to say it. I wanted to hear it coming from him.

"It's weird how I actually remember and you don't... Aren't girls supposed to remember mushy shit like this?"

I rolled my eyes. "Just go on, Mahone."

Austin shook his head slightly showing his perfectly white teeth in a faint smile. "You were standing right there- on that spot." His finger pointed to a tree by the parking lot.

"-I remember you were waiting for your ride, and I offered you one. But of course you being a b-" I gave Austin a stern look before the name he was going to call me was able to slip out of his mouth. He only smiled and changed his choice of words instead. "Being the stubborn girl that you are... You refused."

I fought the urge to let my lips form a smile. But I knew just how wide my smile was hiding deep inside. I was surprised he actually remembered that day, I highly doubt he remembers all the details but that wasn't needed. He remembered and that was that. Though the many years I've went to school with Austin not once did he ever take a look at me, he didn't know who I was, he didn't even know my name. And not once have I ever thought I'd associate myself with the Austin Mahone. But yet here I was in his car breathing the same air as him.

"I remember that look on your face when I told you to ride with me." Austin's laugh filled the car. "Do you remember now?" His voice held hope inside, and he was so close to me... So darn close.

The smile that was trying so hard to not show up seemed to have lost its game of hide and seek because right now, it was spread across my face. "Nope." I said popping the p. "Doesn't ring a bell." I joked bringing a small smile to Austin's lips as well.

"Yeah?" He tilted his head, slightly squinting his eyes over to me. "Is that so?" He bit the corner of his lip.

I. Was. Weak.

"Indeed, it is so." I replied.

"You really gotta work on your lying skills, babygirl." He whispered softly against my face, running shivers all through my body.

Austin didn't give me a chance to reply back to him. It all was moving way too fast but everything seemed to have stopped right when he kissed me. He pulled me closer to him, not caring if we were in his car or not. His hands were on either side of my face. I wasn't aware of anything at this point, everything just seemed to bring me back to Austin. He was consuming every single sense I had. His lips, the smell of him, the way he held me. It was just him and I at this very moment. I didn't know how I was feeling, it was all too much to take in. But I knew very clearly that I've never felt something like this, something so... Something so, so- perfect.

He felt so wrong yet so right. But I didn't care, just as long as he continued to make me feel this way- I honestly didn't care about anything else. This moment right here was different, good different. And I hated to admit how much seeing Austin go back to his player ways these past weeks had killed him. I hated seeing him with another girl- any girl. It was the worst feeling ever.

Austin slowly broke away the kiss to give us time to breath. I couldn't even catch my breath, that was exactly just how breathtaking it really was. He was breathtaking. Panting still, I managed to give Austin a small kind smile before turning myself away hoping he wouldn't see me blush. And in that moment I swear everything that was building up, came tumbling down.

There stood my mother only a few feet away from us, watching every move. And from what I could tell- she did not like it one bit. I felt my heart drop down to my stomach and for what seemed to feel like forever, I felt trapped inside myself. There's no explanation for it.

"I have to go." I blurted out far too quickly, possibly catching Austin off guard. I picked up my bag as fast as I could and opened the door to his range rover, slamming it back shut. And through out the whole process I made sure to not once make eye contact with Austin. I just couldn't bring myself to it.


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She was giving me the silent treatment. This was a way of letting me know she was extremely angry. Whenever mom would get mad at me or anyone in general, she wouldn't usually fuss about it. Instead she would always act like a child and give me the silent treatment until I was the one who apologized first, even if she was the one wrong in the given situation. It didn't matter because that was just mom's way of dealing with things- she ignored them. I guess you could say I got that from her since I did have the tendency to run away from my problems.

"Mom... Please talk to me." I spoke softly but my voice cracked anyway. We were currently inside her car making our way to stop for some food and then back home. She didn't speak though but continued to stay quiet all along.

I sighed losing hope. "Mom, please." I tried once again.

Mom parked in front of the fast food restaurant. Taking her hands of the stirring wheel she cut the engine off. "Amelia." She sighed softly, turning her body to face me. "I don't like that boy."

I knew far too well she was talking about Austin. He wasn't all that bad, and it wasn't like we were doing drugs in his car. It was nothing like that.

"Mom, he's no harm."

"He seems wrong. He's not for you."

"Mom I swear, it's nothing like that." I argued back. "You haven't met him..." I licked my lips trying my best to calm myself down. It was becoming a real issue, I was so sick and tired of always having I go back and forth with this same argument. I lowered my gaze down to my lap as I played with my fingers. "You haven't even met the real him." I spoke softly and quietly, my voice coming out hoarse.

"Amelia." She said. "I don't need to meet him to know just his type- I've seen him all around with different girls each time. And don't get me started on what I've heard about him, I'm not saying I believe everything but that Justin kid is up to no good."

I groaned frustrated. "It's Austin. His name is Austin."

"I don't care." Mom said. "I'm not losing you again right after I finally have you back with me. Or watch you get your heart broken because of some careless boy. Do I make myself clear?"


"You don't understand..."


Mom hit her hand loudly against her thigh causing me a sudden jump. "Do I make myself clear?" She repeated louder this time. I only simply nodded in response, too weak to actually answer.

Moms tone quickly took a sudden tone into something much more softer and comforting. This was when I knew she was being serious. "Amelia I'm only doing this for your own good, I love you, okay?"

"Okay."

"Promise me you won't associate yourself with him. It's no good." The look on mom' eyes were filling me entirely with guilt.

I really didn't have anything to lose, what was the point of fighting for something that wasn't meant to be yours. Maybe in the end mom was right, I was finally back and actually alive. I was being selfish this whole time, only thinking about me and my needs- my needs because of Austin. But that needed to end, I had to start thinking about the people around me, the people who actually care and love me. And slowly I realized that my decisions weren't only affecting me but everyone else as well. I was considering not being so selfish anymore but then again one must get rid of their habits slow and steady. And maybe being selfish was the only way to get exactly just what I wanted.

"I promise." I said but deep down I knew that I was lying. It wasn't much of that living nightmare anymore. Because lately, I was stuck in a daydream.






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