Deathly Kisses

33. "I'm just trying to survive the hurricane"

Chp33. "I'm just trying to survive the hurricane"





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Dedicated to- savagezayn for the comment(:

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I sighed tiredly closing my locker shut. Standing there, I stared at the navy blue locker right there in front of me. The time was only twelve on a school day, and that meant that it was lunch time, I was really dreading it.



I just wish I could go home and lay in my bed forever and just hide from the rest of the world in my sheets and pillows. Unluckily for me, that's not how things worked. I really didn't want to walk in that cafeteria, I have no one to sit with. Absolutely no one.


Obviously I don't just want to sit there alone while everyone is conversing with their friends and I'm just sitting right there eating my food awkwardly because my friends are mad at me. It was something I did not want to do.


After kicking Macy from my house on Friday, I felt terribly bad. She was my best friend and it hurt telling her to leave. But it was just something I had to do. I couldn't stand her giving me a lecture on my life and calling me a liar right in my own house. It was just simply unacceptable. I wanted to apologize on my part. But I knew I couldn't fix things when the damaged had already been done. Even if I'm telling myself I should be angry with her because she didn't believe me but some stupid rumors- I still couldn't bring myself to it. This was all too much. Saturday and Sunday I spent all day doing absolutely nothing but being online and eating all day. And this guilt was eating my alive.


Lying to my own mother, and now Macy and Drew as well.



What the hell am I doing with my life?



But you see that's the thing, I'm not really sure if I have a life or not. As of right now, it sure didn't feel like it. I felt so alone. And yet here is me pushing the only people that care about me away. I wasn't doing it on purpose; I just couldn't control myself.


Necessarily I wasn't really lying to Macy in a way. It was indeed a fact that there was nothing between Austin and I. Therefore there was no reason me not to deny those occusations. I'm still pretty amazed on how these rumors started spreading. It was as if everyone in this school didn't have anything better to do than to talk about some stupid lies. It's like they're always focused on one person and one person only, and that was always Austin. Everyone always found something new about him, wether it was something he said or did- there was always people worrying about him. I understood he was known for all the unusual and unknown things he did. But still, didn't people have anything better to do?



I took a deep breath in, getting ready for what I was hoping not to face the entire day. Pushing the doors in front of me I stepped in, walking inside the cafeteria. The smell of food quickly hit me as well as the loud noise coming from everyone. As I looked around you could notice everything. How each group of friends distanced themselves from others. It was like each person belonged somewhere- to some group. And then there was me...


I didn't have a clue to where I was going to sit. But I couldn't just stand here the entire day looking like a complete idiot. I need to make a move and I need to make one fast.


"Mia!" I heard my name being called from a squeaky feminine voice. I had no doubt in my mind, it was Annie.


"Annie" I replied bluntly.


It didn't take a genius to know what was coming. I wasn't in any mood to deal with this now. I knew the kind of person Annie was. She's one of those who must know every little single detail about everyone's life in order to keep hers entertaning. As crazy as this may sound, if you ever needed to know anything about anyone- you would always go to Annie. That girl always knew everything, and that was something that scared me the most.


"Why don't you sit with us?" She beamed with excitement. "You seem a little lonely, let us keep you company. Come, there's a seat right here for you." Annie moved her small petite body aside, leaving an open spot right next to her and this boy named Cameron.


Both my eyes moved from Cameron to Annie, and all around the table. As expected their eyes were on me. This is a plan for failure, I could already sense it. There's no way in hell Annie is offering me a seat out of kindness, she wanted something. And most likely, that something was answers to the many questions she was planning on asking me. "No thanks, I'm fine." I refused.


"Are you sure?" Annie asked, taking a piece of her golden brown hair out of her face.


"-she said she's fine." A voice from behind me spoke up.


Turning myself around, I noticed Macy standing there. I was trying my best to figure out wether she was defending me as a piece offering or trying to get Annie off my back. I decided to stick with the second one.


"Besides, she doesn't need to sit with any of you when she's sitting with us." She shrugged carelessly. "Right, Mia?" She turned her head to my direction, waiting patiently for my reply.


I nodded in response, "right"


That seemed to get Annie off my back and I was more than glad to. I was still holding my lunch bag in my hand. To be honest, I wasn't all that hungry. I was all ready to go home, even though I still had one more class left. I wanted to talk to Macy, ask her exactly why she did that for me when after everything that had happened Friday. But I was afraid of her answer, I decided to risk it anyways.


I prepared myself for her response and finally spoke. "What was that for? I thought you were mad at me?..."


Macy sighed heavily, turning to me. "I can't stay mad at you, it's impossible." She paused, "and I realized I should've trusted you instead of some stupid nonsense gossip."


Saying that I'm happy right now would be an understatement. I was more than that. I didn't want to lose my friends over something so stupid like this. I still wasn't so sure if Drew was still angry with me- but from where I can tell, it didn't seem like it. As we were approaching our usual lunch table, there he sat. And right away when he saw Macy and I coming his way, he smiled sharply and waved over to me; I waved back. And for a brief moment something in me completely lit up, giving me hope that things possibly could get back to normal after all.



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"So, after school?" Drew asked curiously finishing his hamburger. I still couldn't believe Drew actually enjoyed the food this school served.


"Yes" I agreed. "But don't be late this time." I chuckled dryly.


Drew laughed at that. "Of course not" he said getting up to dump his food tray.


Lunch was finally over and now everyone was returning to class as others started showing up to the cafeteria in time for the next lunch. Throwing my lunch bag inside the trash, I said my goodbyes to Macy and Drew before returning back to my locker for my books. I had Art next, it was the class I had with Austin. Of course he wasn't going to be present considering he hasn't shown to school at all.


It wasn't actually different at all without him being there, since he never even really came to art class. What was different though, was how from sitting in art class and knowing nothing about Austin; I now sat there only thinking about Austin. And I didn't know why to be exact. It was the way it felt, being in that class wondering where the hell he is and if he's even coming back.


And now here I was sitting in my desk as everyone continued drawing, I was staring into space thinking about someone I shouldn't even be thinking about. Someone I should hate. Someone who was no good. Someone who witnessed every little thing in my life go wrong. And yet, that someone helped me so much in a way. From not knowing the right color of his eyes, or the way he smells- to knowing every little detail up close, knowing exactly how his lips feel like.


The rush quickly hit my entire body as the last and final bell rang. School was finally over, thank god. Gathering all of my pencils I stuffed them inside my bag, not caring wether some had fallen to the floor in the process. I dodged every one of my classmate who was blocking the entry. I honestly just wanted to get home as soon as possible.


After placing some of my stuff inside my locker and choosing the books I need for tonight's homework. I threw my bag over my shoulder and made my way out of the school in search for the parking lot. The busses where already leaving and some kids were still rushing over to them, hoping they hadn't missed their bus yet. These are the times, I am more than glad I'm not a bus rider.


Checking the time once again on my phone, I came to a conclusion that Drew was late once again. Nothing surprising here. My house wasn't too far away from here, but I wasn't going to walk home. I wasn't risking that again, there was no way in hell. Instead I decided to wait for Drew, his car was still parked so I'm pretty sure he's just running late. I was tired and annoyed, I should have just gotten a ride from Macy's mom when she picked her up early. But I refused. I needed to catch up on my school work, I was already doing extra work in order to catch up and graduate on time. I couldn't just leave like it was nothing.


Laughter came from the school doors, catching my eye completely. It was a group of guys, they were all laughing and goofing around. Well they were until they stopped once they saw me.


I took my eyes off all of them and placed them to the ground slowly.


Please just go away...


Please just go away...


Please just go away...


Not now, please...



I really didn't want to deal with this right now. It wasn't the time. But I knew I wasn't going to let off this easy, I've gotten many approaches from guys the entire day, and trust me they weren't pleasant ones.


"Hey baby" A deep voice said, and right after a hand was placed upon my butt. My eyes widened in surprise but was soon replaced with fury.


I reacted right away, slapping his hand away. "Get off me!" I yelled stepping away from him. He was tall and muscular, right away I could tell he was in fact conceited.


His friends chuckled behind him, as he only licked his lips giving me a look and stepping closer to me once again. "Why?" He questioned amused. "You know you like it."


"I don't." I snapped angrily. "Don't come near me, and don't touch me"


"Ah c'mon." He tried again, stepping closer.


"Stop."


The guy shook his head and laughed, placing his eyes on me. He eyed me all over, I felt exposed and disgusted. "You didn't seem to mind before." He noted making his friends laugh one more time.


What the hell was is he talking about?


He glared a second longer at me before licking his lips and biting his bottom one. I felt like I was going to throw up.


"Yeah..." one of his friends joined him, this one was only a bit taller than him. "I'm sure we can all make you feel good."


That was all needed to let me know exactly what they were referring to. I shook my head in disbelief, as he continued to walk towards me.


"If Austin can get it, why can't I as well? I promise I'm better than him princess." He said running a hand through my arm. "I can make you feel way better than he ever will."


"Get the fuck off me!!" I shouted, placing my hands on his chest and pushing him away from me. He only chuckled in response, along with his friends before walking away and leaving me there speechless.


I wanted to cry so bad right now. I wanted to scream at everyone. I've had it, this was too much.


Only a couple of weeks until I'm out of here, forever.


I was extremely glad seniors were able to graduate early from this shit hole. I honestly couldn't wait.


I didn't understand why all of this was happening to me. Everything was going perfect and one little thing, ruins everything- possibly even my future. I can't even sleep properly at night anymore. I can't even go to school without these kinds of things happening now.


But I'm not going to give up too easily, I'm not giving anyone the satisfaction. I was only doing this for one person, because I was always taught that when you fall, you gotta get up and dust yourself off to get back in the game. Because there's always a little rain after every rainbow, and right now- I'm just trying to survive the hurricane.





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