Netpals || Harry Styles

F o r t y

writing is my procrastination. i should be studying lol

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F o r t y

~ Harry ~

Dinner is part of the day that I hate the most. When mum announces that dinner is ready, she only calls Gemma's name. And because I am clearly not invited for dinner, I don't go down to eat with them. I would either cook something to eat before or after they eat, or I would just go outside and eat at a restaurant by myself. Either way, it makes me feel extremely excluded and feel like complete shit.

But today, I want that to change. Even though mum just called her husband and Gemma to eat, I am going to go down and eat there too with them.

"You could do this, Harry." I mutter to myself before opening my door. When I open my door, Gemma opens hers at the exact same time and we make awkward eye contact. "Hey, Gem." I give her a smile before taking the lead and going down the stairs first.

When I reach the table, I see that there are only three spots on the table that are set up. So I go to the cupboard and get a plate, cup and some utensils for myself. I can feel three sets of eyes on me, but I ignore it and walk over to the spot besides Gemma with my shoulders tall— but not too tall since I don't want to seem over-confident.

I watch them as they awkwardly sit in their sets, my dad at the head of the table and my mum across Gemma. I sigh in the inside when neither of them make eye contact with me. No matter how many times they ignore me, it will keep hurting in the inside.

There is an awkward silence as we all start putting food on our plates. I keep glancing at mum and I can tell from just looking at her face that she feels uncomfortable. I am just wondering how bad I must have been for them to hate me this much.

"This is really good, thank you." I tell my mum after I take a bite of the chicken. My heart starts to pound after saying that, anxious for what her reply will be— if she even replies that is. I just want her to acknowledge me and accept me. I just want to be loved by my family.

My breathing stops as I see her harshly swallow her food and place her utensils on her plate making it clang throughout the room.

"Martha," My dad says to my mum in a warning voice. My mum just holds her hand up to my dad was she wipes her mouth with a napkin.

My mom turns her head and finally looks at me in the eyes for the first time since I came back. My heart pounds even more in fear as I see the anger in her blue eyes. "I don't know why you are here in this house and I don't know why you are eating dinner with us right now. The last time I checked, you left a few months ago, and I don't recall inviting you back here into my house." That's all she says.

I sit there in complete shock, my face burning red with anger and embarrassment. My mom looks away and stares at her food instead. I look at my dad, my eyes glaring at him since he was the one who forced me to come here. I turn my head to Gemma and she is also staring down at her food.

Feeling completely enraged, I abruptly stand up, the chair screeching against the hardwood floor. "Excuse me, mother, but the last time I checked, father was in my apartment in New York, yelling at me and forcing me to move back here. But I refused to do that and decided to visit instead. I am trying here! I know I did a lot of bad in the past, but I am a new person now and I am trying to make up for all the wrongs I have done to you." I pause, my breathing fast from all the adrenaline. "But I guess I'm not welcome." I say quietly as tears start to spring in my eyes. "I'm sorry for everything that I did to make you guys hate me. I'll leave first thing in the morning."