Netpals || Harry Styles

T h i r t y - s i x

T h i r t y - s i x

The feeling I have inside of my chest feels so familiar. A sickeningly kind of familiar. The kind of familiar that I felt over a year ago when Nick died. I just feel like there is a hole in my heart. I feel incomplete. I feel empty. I feel lost. I don't feel like myself.

But something that I have to keep reminding myself is that Harry is alive. He isn't like Nick- Harry and Nick are completely different people and this is a completely different situation.

I am scared. I am terrified to be completely honest. I fear that Harry won't come back, or if he does, I am scared that we won't be as close as we used to be and it will end up not working out. I am petrified that Harry will find another girl back in England.

But I trust Harry, so everything should be okay.

Around midnight last night Harry texted me that he landed in London safely and said how much he misses me already. I texted him back right away and we ended up FaceTiming for two hours. We could have FaceTimed so much longer but we were both so exhausted from yesterday's events. And even though I was so tired last night, I just couldn't sleep properly. I craved Harry's touch, his warmth, his kisses and cuddles. I craved his presence. And I still do crave for all those things.

With a groan, I finally decide to sit up against the headboard. I look at the clock and see that it is nine in the morning. I grab my phone from my bedside table, immediately checking to see if I have any texts or missed calls from Harry. A smile forms on my face when I see that I did indeed get a text from him not too long ago.

Harry <333 : Good morning, babe. I hope you had a decent amount of sleep last night, I am missing you like crazy right now. Text me when you wake up so we can FaceTime. I miss your gorgeous face. xx <3

I take a deep breath, his words hitting me right in the heart. It is like I could feel my heart warming up from that simple text.

I quickly unlock my phone to open his text, clicking 'details' in the top right corner and pressing call. I hold my phone out in front of me, excitement filling up inside of me as I'm ready to see his gorgeous face.

Harry's face pops up on the screen making my heart flutter and butterflies form in my stomach. I first look at his beautiful green eyes, noticing how bright they look right now because his room is lit from the sun outside. I then look at his forehead, his nose, his check, his chin, his pink lips, taking in every single detail. All that is going on in my head is how beautiful Harry is and how badly I want to look at him in person.

"Dais, oh my god, I miss you so much." He says, taking in a deep breath.

"I miss you too, Harry." I pout, my heart aching. "I wish I could just hug you right now."

"I know, babe." Harry frowns. "Oh god, I'm getting emotional again." He says, wiping the inside of his eye with his index finger.

"Again?"

"Yeah," He says and chuckles a bit, even though this isn't a funny situation. "A few tears may have slipped out this morning. It's hard to leave a place where you felt so happy, only to go somewhere else where there's always tension in the air. I want to go back to New York so badly, but if I do that means I didn't try. And I can't just not try." He sighs.

"I know. It's okay, Harry. Your situation with your family is going to take time. It's not going to go from tension to all smiles and laughter within a day."

"Yeah, you're right. But how are you doing, Dais? Are you okay? Did you manage to get at least a bit of sleep last night?"

"I'm okay. I miss you like crazy but I'm okay. And ehh... I got a bit of sleep, yeah. Did you?"

"Nahh not really to be honest. But I am just happy that you were able to get even the tiniest bit of sleep. I know when you aren't feeling the best, you aren't able to sleep because your thoughts won't quiet down. And I know what comes along with that. I know it is so easy to be down and to feel sad but Daisy, I want you to try to be the best that you can possibly. If you have to fake it, fake it. Please, I just don't want you to be like how you were when we were messaging each other on Wattpad. If you ever want to talk to me, just call. It doesn't matter what time it is for me, I will always wake up for you. I just don't want you feeling bad in the inside, it will honestly tear me to shreds. Please promise me, Dias."

I look at the screen, his voice and work echoing inside of my head as I try to digest that heartfelt message. I take a deep breath, all the emotions swarming inside of me. I close my eyes and take another deep breath, trying not to break down. I hate being so emotional all the time, but I really cannot control it. But right now, I am emotional not only from what Harry just said to me, but mainly because of the pain that is written across his face.

"I promise, Harry."

"Thank you." Harry's says, a tear in his eye. We stay in silence for a bit, the sound of our deep breathing the only thing audible in my apartment.

"What did you do today?" I ask, my voice quiet.

"Nothing that interesting." He sighs. "I made breakfast in the morning. I made scrambled eggs and some french toast. I also put fruit on a platter. And I set up the table and everything for my family. Gemma ate some food but she didn't thank me or anything. My mother acted like she didn't see the food on the table and made her own breakfast. My dad tried telling her that there's already breakfast on the table but she wasn't having it, and because of that, my dad had to be by my mum's side and didn't end up eating the food that I made. I'm probably making a big deal out of this. It's just food. But I just spent a lot of time making it. It's hard. I'm trying my best."

A bubble of anger rises up inside of me from hearing Harry's story. Yeah, he made mistakes before, but he is trying now and that is what counts.

"I'm so sorry, that's horrible." I frown, feeling absolutely helpless right now. I want to help him so badly but I don't know what I can do. "You know what I think? I think they are having a hard time changing their ways. They aren't used to this new you, and they aren't used to getting along with everyone and being affectionate. I know it is tough to see them acting like that to you but as time goes on, they will eventually change their ways one step at a time." Harry nods and gives me an appreciative smile.

" You're so amazing, Dais, do you know that? You always know what to say. Thank you, love."

"No need to thank me, that's what I'm here for." I smile at him. He sends me a smile back, the kind of smile that makes my heart race and my tummy go all fuzzy.

"I am going to head to town soon. I want to buy some stuff for them. But I will FaceTime you later on today, okay?"

Sadness swarms inside of me, but I give Harry a smile. "Okay."

"Have a good day, alright?"

I nod. "I will try, You have a good day too, Harry."

"Thanks, babe, I'll try too. See you later, beautiful."

"See ya." I smile, taking a deep breath as I stare at him on the screen.

Harry kisses his fingers and waves them to me, giving me a small smile. I continue staring at the screen, and then just like that within the next second, his image disappears.

I lock my phone, settling besides me on my bed and take a deep breath. I really don't like how Harry is so far away from me, it scares me so much and just makes me feel sad. But what I keep telling myself is that he will come back in two months maximum. Time will fly by before I know it.

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i am so sorry for such a sucky, short chapter. i know it has been forever since i last updated (2 months, i know) but it is actually crazy right now in my life. august was so busy prepping for uni, and now i am in uni and all i do is study....

well enough about me, i hope you guys don't hate me. i will honestly try really hard to update more often, its going to be hard but i will try because i missed you guys and this story.

love you, stay lovely xx

~ May <3

p.s. infinity + perfect + home = perfection. who else is excited for the new album?!?!