Netpals || Harry Styles

T h i r t y - f o u r

OMG I AM SO SORRY I AM HERE AND I AM BACK AND I WILL BE UPDATING A LOT MORE FREQUENTLY NOW! I am not going to write a huge paragraph on why i haven't been updating but i just want you to know that i love you so much and you don't know how much your sweet comments mean to me. 

bUT OMG CAN WE PLEASE TALK ABOUT DRAG ME DOWN AND HOW THEY SANG IT LIVE LDSAJFLKJAS IT SOUNDS SO GOOD LIKE ALL THEIR VOICES ARE PERFECTION AND HARRYS HIGH NOTE I CRY OMFG I AM GONNA HEAR IT LIVE IN 19 DAYS LASDFJLAKSJF

(who else is going to the toronto concert?)

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T h i r t y - f o u r

I can't believe my eyes, I can't believe my ears. It feels like my heart has sunk to the bottom of my stomach. My vision starts to blur as my breathing picks up. This isn't happening, this is just a nightmare. 

My teeth sink down so hard into my bottom lip that I could feel my flesh tear open. And that's when I know that my nightmare has came true. 

"Wh-what?" I force out, suddenly feeling so sick to the stomach.

I look at Harry in desperate need for him to look at me and give me a look that says 'everything will be alright'. But instead I see him looking at his dad with so much distaste and hatred. My heart is beating out of my chest, my thoughts swirling with horrible thoughts. 

"You have no right! No fucking right, dad." Harry snares, pointing his finger at his dad while taking a threatening step towards him. "This is my apartment, you have no right to barge in here and take my stuff. I am not going back to England, especially not with you."

"Do not talk to me like that, young man! I am your father and you must talk to me with respect! That is exactly why I am bringing you back home. So you could stop sleeping around and partying-"

"No!" Harry shouts so loud that I start to shake with fear. I didn't know I was crying until I feel my tears running down my neck. 

The next few minutes are a blur. My vision is blurry and my mind is foggy from being so overwhelmed with everything. I turn around and run. 

When I finally manage to calm down, it is like all my senses comes back to me. I notice I am outside of Harry's apartment in the parking lot, sitting down against the brick wall. 

I try focusing on my breathing to help calm me down. I try to think of a song and sing it in my head, but the only thing that I am able to think about is Harry and his dad. I have no clue what they could be saying to each other right now, but I am terrified. I am so terrified that his dad will actually take Harry back to England. It isn't fair.

I don't know how long I have been sitting here but it seems like forever. The waiting and the suspense makes me so anxious, physically sick to the stomach that I threw up a few minutes ago. I look down at the ground and grab a near by stick to carve random designs onto the dirty ground in attempt to distract my mind. Though, my mind has been so distant that I didn't even hear Harry come out of the building.

"Dais." 

My head shoots up at the sound of my name as the stick falls out of my hand. I instantly stand up, my eyes wide as I look at Harry. I wait for him to say something but nothing comes out of his mouth. I notice that he is avoiding my gaze too.

"Harry?" I say, my nose stinging as tears appear in my eyes once more. "W-what happened?" My voice wavers, my hand starting to shake.

"Daisy," Harry repeats, saying my name in the most gentlest way possible. He looks into my eyes and just from looking into his green ones, I can tell that my heart is going to be shattered. 

"No," I say, shaking my head and taking a step back. I can't believe this. "No, Harry, no." My eyes turn wider as I desperately beg for Harry to correct me, for him to say he isn't going to be leaving me. But all he does is look at me with sadness in his eyes and a frown on his face. "Why?"

"It's just going to be for a while." He says taking a step towards me. The light from the sun reflects from his eyes and that's when I notice that he is crying.

"You don't have to leave." 

"I don't want to, Dais."

"Then why are you?"

"I have to try to make things right with my parents. Shouting at my dad and him shouting at me made me realize how wrong this is. How horrible I was acting towards them and Gemma. I have to try to fix it." 

A sob escapes from my mouth as Harry holds onto my hand, squeezing it for reassurance. But it doesn't reassure me at all as I hear quiet sobs coming out of Harry's mouth. It makes me feel even sadder and more heartbroken hearing his painful sobs. I wrap my arms around his body, Harry's arms instantly folding around my torso as we hug each other for dear life. Our bodies shake from our sobs while we hold desperately onto each other like we will never see each other again. 

In my head I just keep repeating 'why'. Why is this happening to us? Why me? Why Harry? Why can't we just be at peace? Why is that so hard to ask?

"W-when are y-you leaving?" I ask, pulling away to look at his tear-filled face.

"The flight is in t-two hours." Harry hiccups. 

"I don't want you to go." I start crying again, my eyes starting to hurt from crying so much.

"I don't want to leave you." The pain in his voice goes straight to my heart, making the shattered pieces even more shattered. 

"I understand though, Harry. It's just the person you are. You are so kind and you always want to do what is right. That is what I admire the most about you."

"You're wrong, Dais. I've changed because of you. Before I didn't give shits to anyone. But then I started talking to you and you made me open up this side to me that I didn't know existed. This happier, nicer side." He squeezes me tightly. "Thank you." He whispers. "Because of you I realized a lot of things. Things about myself and things about life in general. You are amazing, Dais. It will just be a while. A month, maybe two and then I will be back."

"I don't want you to go." My voice goes all high pitched from trying not to break down. "I don't know how I can do this without you, Harry. I need you by my side everyday. I need to see your smile and hear your voice. I need you to h-hug me when I am feeling low. How-how c-can-" I can't even finish my sentence because I start bawling once more. The sobs just come pouring out and the tears seem endless. My heart aches terribly. It hurts so much. I have never felt this much pain since the day Nick died. 

"D-Dais." Harry says, sobbing once more too. "I-I know it seems hard right now, but it will be okay. We will just continue what we did before we met. We will message each other. And we will Skype too. I will still be here for you everyday, that will all still be the same. The only difference is that I won't be physically besides you. We did it before and we could still do it now. I know we can. You are too special to me to let this distance drag us down."

"I'm going to m-miss you so much, Harry." I cry, clutching onto him like he is going to vanish in any second.

"And I am going to miss you so much too, baby. So much."

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my heart is breaking *le sob*

i promise i will be updating more frequently! i missed writing so much and i miss you guys so much. i love you! i love you i love you i love you!

stay awesome, lovelies xx

~ May <3