C Minor // R5

The Signal of Lust

When the week finished we had accomplished filming three musical numbers. We are officially half way done filming.

The more I thought about being halfway done in Puerto Rico, the sadder I got. Nothing could make me want to go back to Boston after being here. I had Ross, a beautiful beach just outside, and my dreams were coming true. The thought of going home made me nauseous.

 I decided it would be a good idea to organize my dance bag, since it's gotten pretty messy with costumes, earrings, bows, clothes, makeup, bobby pins etc. I pull out my dance bag and see the sparkly clips surrounding the straps. I immediately break out into tears.

After fifteen minutes of crying I realize I don't want to be alone. I put on Avoa's angel pin and walk to Maia's room. I knock but no one answers so I figure she's out to dinner. The only other person I could think of is Ross. I contemplate it but I go anyways. I wipe tears away from my face. Good thing I'm wearing waterproof mascara. I knock on the door and Ryland answers it.

"Hey Nina."

"Hi, is Ross here?" I say hoping he doesn't notice the tears slipping from my eyes.

"Yeah, I'll go get him." He walks away for a couple of seconds and then Ross comes to the door.

"Heeee-" Ross stops. "Are you crying?" I immediately burst into tears. He hugs me tightly as I continue to cry into his shirt. "What's wrong?" He asked.

"I'm sorry! I was going to go to Maia but she wasn't there. I needed to not be alone." I say.

"Come on. Mom! I'll be back later! Nina and I are hanging out!" He says. We begin to go to the elevators to leave.

"Where are we going?"

"You'll see."

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"The beach?" I ask him. "We're always at the beach." I say.

"But we never just chill at the beach. Beaches are for chilling on." Ross says, taking my hand. He sits down and gestures for me to sit next to him. I sit next to him on the warm sand. We watch the sun set for a couple of minutes before he turns to me.

"What made you cry?" I look at him. The orange setting sun casts on the side of his face, creating a natural shimmer on his skin.

"I was going to organize my dance bag. I saw all my competition pins from my dance studio at home and just got homesick. I know it's stupid, but I couldn't help it. I thought nothing could make me miss home, but I didn't think of all I have there too."

"It's not stupid. You're fifteen. This is the longest you've ever been away from home. And, this is you're first job. It's completely reasonable. We're halfway done, if that helps." He replied. I look back at the ocean.

"I don't know if that helps."

"Why do you wear that gold pin all the time?"

"It's my Avoa's. She gave it to me before I left, to give me luck. She has breast cancer, but she's getting better quickly. The doctors say it's remarkable due to her age." I say.

"That's touching and all, but... who's Avoa?" Ross asks, looking at me. I continue to look at the ocean.

"My grandmother. Avoa is grandmother in Gaelic." I say.

"I like Irish girls." Ross said. I laugh and roll my eyes.

"Do you ever think people would care if you weren't here?" I ask.

"I mean kind of since I do play Brady." Ross says, looking back at the ocean. I haven't taken my eyes off it for five minutes. Just watching the glimmering waves.

"No I mean... If you weren't born, do you think that people would feel like they're missing something?" I ask.

"No. They wouldn't even know." Ross says.

"It's kind of like if a tree falls in the woods. If no one hears it, did it make a sound?"

"I think all this pressure you're under isn't good." Ross says.

"When under pressure, you either turn to a diamond or dust." I say. He looks at me.

"Do you think about this stuff a lot? Where do you get these thoughts?" He asks.

"There just there." I stand up and remove my grandmother's pin and put it in my purse. "I need to do this." I begin to run to the water.

"Nina? Nina!" I hear Ross yell. I continue to run and I jump into the warm water. All of the sudden I feel myself being dragged up. I come up and see Ross. He's holding me by my shoulders.

"What? What are you doing?" I ask.

"What are you doing?"

"Swimming."

"In your clothes?" I nod. He smiles. Ross pushes a piece of hair out of my face. Both of the smiles fade off of our faces as we look into each other's eyes. I look at the ground and laugh but look up to see Ross still looking at me.

But the tingles aren't there.  just feel warm inside.

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We swam until it got dark. Ross walked me back to my room even though we were soaked.

"Thank you." He said smiling. "For my best night in Puerto Rico." I smile at him.

"A wise man once said, 'beaches are for chilling on.'" I reply. Ross laughed. I hugged him and then when we released he looked into my eyes and smiled this time. "I should go." I say quietly after a few minutes. He nods. I turn around and go into my room. When I close the door I slide my back down it till I hit the floor.

"What?" I say out loud.