Paris / Ted Lasso

55. I Bet

Love can kill /Sandor Clegane out now!

"I named him Ted. After Ted Danson." Jamie nodded to the fish in the tank. 

"All-time great." Ted agreed. "You know, from Cheers to Curb to The Good Place. What a career."

"Mmm." Jamie agreed.

"I mean, he's basically the male version of Julia Louis-Dreyfus. Who's like the female version of Dave Grohl." Ted offered. "Mm-hmm, yeah. All three of them got that Midas touch, don't they?" Jamie stared back at him confused. " Nice to see ya, Jamie." Ted offered. He would have so much to tell poppy. "How ya been?"

"Uh, awesome." Jamie lied.

" Yeah?"

" The best. Pretty good. Okay, a little depressed. Yeah. It's all shit, Ted." Jamie demanded.

"That's a real roller coaster there." Ted decided. "Glad I was tall enough to join you on that ride. Anything I can help you with?"

"Uh, so I was talking to Keeley, and I was just wondering, like, what the chances were of me coming back to play for you at Richmond?"

"Oh, you know Jaime is a good guy, sort of but he burned a lot of bridges." Poppy countered. 

"I know, I told him that." Ted agreed. 

"What did he have to say about that? He doesnt do well with rejection." Poppy reminded him.

"He needs Richmond." Ted answered. "Did I tell you he named his fish after me?"

"Oh he loves you!" Poppy agreed. 

"You know he was on that reality show too, he told me he did it to anger his father." Ted added. 

"They have never gotten alone. Father son relationships, I'm glad I have birdie." Poppy agreed. 

"Me too." Ted agreed. "Can't imagine my Poppy without her little bird." Poppy chuckled leaning into him, Ted made her smile so easily. 

"We talked about his father... you ever meet Mr Tartt?" 

"Once or twice, Jamies father is a real piece of work" Poppy remarked. "But so is mine but he's nothing like Jamies." 

"What is your father like?"

"I can't talk about my father without talking about my mother and mother is a bimbo at times." Poppy admitted. "She loved becca and I but she was always running off, got mad at dad for stupid things and not so stupid things, she would demand a divorce and he would buy back her love." Poppy remarked with a shrug. "Not really a good role model for our relationships... Rupert was kind of like our father in certain ways. He bought love and made Becca feel like she seen and important... My father wasnt perfect but he wasnt a monster either but he also wasnt there for us when we needed him. Neither was our mum though... what about your parents?"

"Oh they are just..." Ted shrugged. "Good parents. Normal parents."

"I know a brush off when I hear one." Poppy agreed. "Hey good luck today. I feel like you going to need it." 

"Why thank you... why though?" Poppy showed him the picture of himself and Jamie at the pub. 

"Oh thats a nice picture, you were there?"

"The paps are always there." Poppy corrected. 

"Somebody order training extra spicy today?" Ted questioned.

"Yeah, it's got that Nando's peri-peri sauce on it, huh?" the players kept shouting though.

" What the fuck was that?"

"What the fuck you waiting for?" they shouted back and forth, Ted watched the team confused before glancing back at Sharon in the bleachers.

"How come every time I look back there it's like she's getting closer and closer?"

"Are we getting Jamie back?" Poppy questioned. 

"Not that I'm aware of." Rebecca answered. "Shouldnt I be asking you that, you are shagging the coach."

"I am and he's a great shag." She agreed. 

"Hey, Sam! Hold up! Hey! Look, when you make that pass, you gotta put some grass under it. Make Dani chase it down like it's a loose toddler in a busy parking lot." Ted said running out onto the pitch

"You think you can do better? Come out here and do it then." Sam shouted back. 

"Oy! Easy, bruv."

"No, no, no. That's okay. Sam's right. There ain't nothing going on out here on this field that I can do better than any of y'all." Ted assured. "Unless you break into a game of finish that Jimmy Buffett lyric". He added. "Then I'll be changing your latitudes and attitudes left, right and center."

"What are they shouting about?" Rebecca questioned. "Close the window." Poppy opened it more. "That is the opposite of what I said."

"I guess Sam doesn't like Jimmy Buffett."

"Who's Jimmy Buffett?"

"Really?" Ted countered. "Hey. Sam! Slow down. Hey, you got something you wanna talk about?"

"No." Sam barked back.

"Really? It seems like you got something on your mind." Ted countered "Something like, "I'm angry about a mysterious thing so I'm gonna do some cussing now". Ted suggested.

"I mean, I am angry. And I did cuss, and every time I do, I regret it." Sam agreed.

"'Cause people say cuss words when they don't know the right ones to use to express themselves. Except Bernie Mac. He uses them like van Gogh uses yellow. You know, effectively." Ted agreed. " Come on, talk to me."

"I can't believe you're bringing Jamie back to the team."

"I know what they are shouting over." Poppy realized. "Come on Birdie Boo," Poppy reached out a hand for Birdie and she pulled her headphones off. 

"Mama I'm learning Spanish next so we can go Salsa dancing in El Salvador." Birdie decided. 

"Alright Muchacha." Poppy mused. Birdie laughed out. "You want to go salsa dancing?"

"I saw it in tiktok." Birdie agreed. "It looked so beautiful."

"You want to sign up for dance classes?"

"Can I?" Birdie questioned. 

"yes! We dont have to go to another country, we can dance right here!" Poppy assured.

"I saw the picture of you and him on Twitter."

"Oh, Sam, there's a bunch of crazy stuff on Twitter." Ted assured. "Heck, someone made an account for my mustache." he added.

"How many locker room punch-ups have we had since Jamie's been gone?"

"None."

"None. Have we won yet? No, but we will." Ted assured. "I believe that. Don't you?" The team deflated.

"Just because Jamie can score goals doesn't mean he deserves to be here." Sam demanded. "No teammate has ever made me feel as bad about myself as Jamie did." Sam added.

"Sam, I understand your anger towards him."

"It's not him. I'm mad at you." Sam corrected. "You didn't even talk to us about it. "

"Honestly, Sam, I didn't think there was anything to talk about." Ted countered. " told Jamie it wasn't gonna happen."

"Oh. Oh, now I feel awkward." Sam whispered.

"I bet."