ELLIE'S POV
Dan was back, and although his arms were around me and my body was melting perfectly into his, I couldn't shake the uneasy feeling bubbling in my stomach from the second that Demi got the phone call from Grace and bolted. I tried to get ahold of Grace to see what had happened but she wasn't answering, the line saying that it was engaged every time I tried to call.
"Do you want to go home?" Dan asked, his eyes holding concern as he ran his fingers down my arm. "I don't know what happened, but if you're not up for it we can reschedule."
I couldn't help but feel guilty; Dan had been counting down the days until he could see me again since he left. "No, it's fine. I wanna stay with you. I'm sorry."
After assuring me that there was nothing for me to apologize for, Dan and I followed his parents to a small cafe that was serving breakfast within the airport. It was overlooking the tarmac and allowed us to watch the planes take off and land while eating, something I hadn't ever experienced before.
"I haven't been on a plane before," I told Dan while we were waiting for our food.
"Really?" Dan chuckled lightly. "You'd think being Demi Lovato's daughter, you'd have been on tons of planes."
"You'd think, but she hasn't been anywhere except New York in the last year. She took Sam with her but I stayed home because of school."
The food arrived pretty quickly, unsurprising when we were the only people having breakfast at 6 am in an airport. It didn't take long for the place to fill up however, the noise level picking up ever so slightly.
"I missed you so much, Ellie," Dan told me, a small smile on his face as his eyes locked into mine. I felt chills rush up and down my body as I tried to keep my composure as best I could.
"Naww. I missed you too!"
"There were so many places that reminded me of you. We went to watch a ballet at the Casino Monte-Carlo; I know you would have loved it. You love all of that stuff."
"I was convinced when I was like 7 that I could be like Madeline from that kid's cartoon show. I always thought she was an orphan, and there was one episode where she was a ballerina or something. I wanted to be her."
Dan only chuckled as his hand found mine, our fingers interlocking together perfectly. By the time we had finished breakfast, Dan's parents began interrogating me about my health after the scare I had had only a short while ago just after they had left.
"Oh Ellie," Dan's mother began, her accent thick. "Are you feeling any better? Surely it would take time to recover from something so serious."
"I'm feeling much better now, thank you, Mrs Castillo. I'll have to go back to the hospital every couple of months for the next year or so to make sure no lasting organ damage has happened." I told her, earning a smile from her at the news that I was okay.
When Dan's parents went off in search of some coffee, I decided it was the perfect time to tell him about my feature on Nick's upcoming song. I knew he'd be ecstatic to hear, and honestly, it had been so hard keeping it a secret from him until he got back.
"Hey, guess what," I began, earning his attention as he looked away from the planes taking off to look at me. "I did a thing while you were gone. And it's really cool. And if I tell you you can't tell anyone else because it needs to stay under wraps until like two weeks before it's released."
"Tell me!"
"Okay, so basically, I went into the studio with my Mom, and then I went to go and see her friend Nick who I'm pretty close with. He was having trouble with this song that he was writing, and I helped him out with the lyrics a bit. I said that it needed a female perspective so he got me to sing it in the studio booth so we could listen to it back and see if it sounded better, and he liked it so much that he kept me as the female vocalist!"
Dan paused for a moment, looking confused. "I'm trying really hard to wrap my jetlagged brain around what you just said, but. . ."
"Oh my god," I rolled my eyes and shook my head playfully. "I'm on a song! My voice is singing an entire part of a song that's being released as Nick Jonas's new single in September!"
"Nick Jonas? As in like, Jonas Brothers, Jonas?"
"Really, that's all you took from that?" I rolled my eyes once again, chuckling lightly. "Yes! Jonas Brothers Jonas! The youngest one with curly hair!"
"Woah! That's awesome El!" Dan finally seemed to process everything I had said, his eyes smiling as much as his mouth was as he grabbed my hand and squeezed it tightly. "I'm so proud of you! Look at you being successful and shit!"
I grinned as Dan got more and more excited for me, and for a few seconds, I managed to forget about what was happening with Grace. All I could focus on were Dan's brown eyes, which were being hit by the morning sunlight coming through the window beside us. I was sure that if someone were to ask me my own name at that moment, I wouldn't have known the answer. I was so encapsulated by him, that nothing else in the world mattered. Only him, only his complete adoration and love for me. Only the way I would catch him staring at me in the middle of math class, only the times that he would wait for me when he had a free period and would carry my books for me the second I left the room. Only the way my body burns and tingles when his hand is resting on my arm, only the way it felt when his lips were on mine and my body fit perfectly into his without ever having to try. Nothing else.
I'm pretty sure I love this boy, but does he love me?
Upon arriving back home, courtesy of Dan's parents who had so graciously offered at the airport when Demi had to rush off, I thanked the three of them for breakfast before walking up to the gate and punching in the code that would open it. I closed the gate behind me and pulled a key from my pocket before unlocking the door, allowing me to turn the handle which let me in.
The house was quiet, and I didn't like it. When you have a four-year-old living at your house as well as an international popstar, quiet is never settling. Even at night, someone is bound to have left a TV on — this wasn't normal.
"I'm home," I called out, hearing my own voice echo back to me. "Is anyone home?"
As if it were a movie, suddenly someone popped out from thin air. Dallas. She had a solemn look on her face which didn't ease my evergrowing nerves, in fact, it made a distinct nauseating feeling brew in my stomach.
"El," Dallas began, placing a hand on my shoulder as she took the backpack I had taken with me off of my shoulders. "I think you should go up to Grace's room. I'll put your bag in your room — just go."
"Dallas, what the fuck is going on?"
"Ellie, just go, alright. Grace."
My heart pounded as my feet wouldn't take me up the stairs fast enough, each moment feeling like it was dragging on longer than the last. I was terrified as to what was waiting for me behind the door, what information I would learn when I clicked the door shut. As I approached said door, I knocked three times, waiting for a response.
"Come in."
That wasn't Grace's voice. That was Demi's.
Pushing the door open, I walked in and then shut the door quickly. Looking over to Grace's bed, I saw my best friend laying there numbly, Demi looking helpless as she ran her hand up and down the dark-haired girl's arm comfortingly.
"What the hell happened, Mom?"
I watched as Demi opened her mouth to answer, but Grace beat her to it, her answer rendering me breathless and unable to speak.
"My mother killed my brother and then killed herself. Then I was the one to find both of their bodies."
The way she said it so casually scared me. The way she didn't even look at me when she said it, the way she didn't change her tone from a monotonous one whatsoever scared me. I wanted to go and wrap her up in a hug but that would scare her. How do you react in this situation? What do you say? I was at a complete loss.
"I — Wha — Grace — I-I'm so sorry," I muttered out finally, taking a few steps towards the bed. "Are you okay?"
"I'm not dead, am I?" Her tone was a sarcastic one, one that didn't sit right with either Demi or I — I could tell by the look on my mother's face.
"No Gray, I mean like — emotionally. Are you okay, emotionally?"
"Who knows," Grace shrugged from her place on top of her bed, the motion barely visible. "I keep replaying the moment I walked into the bathroom over and over again — I just — I don't want to talk about it anymore."
The room fell silent for a moment, Demi inviting me to sit down next to her as she shifted over. "Dallas is waiting for the police to get here. They need to ask her more questions. Madison and Eddie went to get Grace's car with Sam and then took it back to their house — we didn't want Sam here while there's a whole bunch of detectives here."
"Fuck the detectives. Don't they have enough?" Grace spat angrily. "I answered that many of their questions earlier. I don't have anything else to fucking say to them."
"I know babe, but they need to get more information from you while it's fresh in your mind." Demi tried to get Grace to understand, but it didn't seem as though she was listening as her eyes were fixated on the wall. "Do you want anything Grace?"
"No thanks."
Silence again. As Demi left the room to go and check to see if anyone had arrived yet, I moved closer to Grace, filling the space that Demi had left behind. I wanted to make it better, I wanted to take all the pain and the trauma Grace had gone through and take it away, give it to myself if i had to.
"Gray?" I began. "Do you want a hug? I can lay next to you and we can cuddle if you're feeling up to it."
"I think — I think I'd like that."
So that was that. I laid down beside my best friend and wrapped my arms around her as she did the same. I'm not exactly sure when or how, but Grace's head had shifted onto my chest as she began to cry softly, her vulnerable side beginning to unravel.
"I'm all alone," Grace's words between her quiet sobs were barely a whisper, but I still heard them. And they still broke my heart just as much. "I don't have a family anymore. I'm alone."
"No, Gray," I felt tears brim at my own eyes as I imagined how my friend must be feeling. "You have me. You have us. Me, Demi, Sam, Dallas, Lo, Mila, Ally, Dinah, Mani, Mads, Logan, Leon, Dan — there's so many people. We're your family. You can find your family Gray, you can find your place. Sam and I are a prime example — blood doesn't equal family or love."
"I don't think I can wake up every day with this image in my head. I want to scrub my brain clean of all memory of them. Even Anthony — it just hurts too much."
As Grace began to cry again, a story came to mind that I thought might help.
"Eleanor, outside. The garbage truck left behind a mess this morning, and you need to clean it. It's not like you do anything else remotely helpful around here."
"May I please get a coat, Mrs Neveah? It's winter, and I don't want to catch a cold from the cold."
Although I thought my request was reasonable, given the weather outside wasn't fitting for my leggings and plain t-shirt, it was laughed at by the orphanage director who rolled her eyes and began to scold me.
"Do not be selfish, you hear me? You don't need a coat."
"But you have one!"
"Eleanor, this is your last warning. Outside, now. I'm following."
With a sigh, thirteen-year-old me went outside, shaking off the snowflakes that got caught in my eyelashes and on the tip of my nose, as I picked up each piece of trash as quickly as possible before relaying it back to the garbage bin. My fingers were aching with pain as the cold nipped at them with no mercy, mere exposure not making it any easier to deal with. While picking up an empty water bottle, I watched as Mrs Neveah lit up the end of her cigarette as she stood against the double doors of the double-storey building, watching me.
Once finished, I walked up to the funeral director, hoping that now I had finished what she wanted me to do that she would be satisfied and let me back inside to warm up. As I approached her, the look of disgust was growing stronger and stronger as she looked between me and the cigarette, scowling.
"I'm finished, Mrs Neveah," I informed her of the obvious, so desperate to please her even after 12 years. "May I please go inside now?"
My teeth were chattering violently and uncontrollably, my lips tinged blue as the icy air burnt my lungs and nostrils. Jack Frost was out today, and it was apparent that he was not out to play. The joints in my hands felt like they were frozen into place; moving them was an irritating kind of pain that I wasn't appreciative of. The next thing and the only thing I remember hearing for a few seconds after that, was the distinct sound of skin burning. The delayed, yet still searing pain was next, and that was when I realised that Mrs Neveah had put her cigarette out on my neck.
"Ouch!" I yelped back, my hand clasped over the point of impact. "What was that for!? I did what you asked!"
"Hey!" My face was suddenly grabbed by a pair of gloved hands, her rough hold one that was sure to leave a bruise in the morning. "Do not take that tone with me you little shit. You've been here for that long, you should know not to piss me off by now."
"Sorry, Mrs Neveah."
My apology was as sincere as when the cursed woman would 'cry' when one of her orphans were adopted out into a loving home, as sincere as the time she told a county worker that she thought of me as one of her own, seeing as though I had been living under the same roof as her for so many years. All of it was bullshit, and we both knew it, but neither of us would ever dare to call the other out. Passive-aggressive exchanges were how the pair of us shared our distaste for each other — although her approach was almost always more aggressive than passive.
I was forced back inside the same way I had been forced inside, and although there were various children running up and down the stairs and squealing at each other, all I could hear was still the sound of my skin bubbling and burning, and all I could feel was the same indescribable pain that lasted longer than the cigarette had been on my skin for.
Ms Avery had fussed over me all night after I had come inside, cursing her boss for sending a child out in weather so terrible — of course, she would never say it to her face; only to me. I managed to hide the circular burn mark with my hair, making the injuries caused to me by the orphanage director to be one of the only secrets I had ever kept from her employee.
"It took some time, but after a few weeks, the burn stopped hurting, and it scarred over. I couldn't feel the pain I had felt that day after a few months, and it took even longer than that, but eventually, I stopped hearing the sound every time my fingers brushed over the scar on my neck. I can still remember what the burning skin sounded like, but only if I really want to. It doesn't creep up on me anymore." After telling my best friend the story, she seemed to have calmed down a bit. "It'll stop hurting eventually. Maybe not completely, but it'll definitely stop creeping up on you. It'll get better. I promise. You just need time."
Grace seemed to find comfort in my words, her eyes beginning to dry as the pair of us continued to just lay there while I ran my fingers through her black and blue hair. When Demi came back, both Grace and I had to get up from our comfortable position with the detectives apparently waiting downstairs.
"You can stay in here if you want, Elle," Grace told me, wiping below her eyes with her sleeve to dry any remaining tears. "Go to sleep, you've been up all night."
I have not proofread this, i was barely even conscious while writing this lmfao i sincerely apologise if it isn't very good or doesn't make sense or anything like that. Please let me know what you think :)))
Izzy xo