"So he sat there all cuddled up with some chick?" Ashley asks while braiding my hair.
I haven't seen her for a while so it was about time we hit each other up to have a sleepover at my house.
"Yes" I sniff for the 50th time.
"I can't be mad at him tho, we not together and it's my own fault cuz I waited till like forever to finally accept him back into my life like that" I say and eat some of the ice cream that Ashley got me.
"True, but that don't mean it can't hurt" Ashley says before asking for a hair tie.
"I needa stop crying, I've done enough of that these past few days" I sigh while giving her one.
"What you need to do is get back to your bad self and show him what he be missing out on" She says after finishing my hair.
I turn myself around on the floor and lay down on my back with my arms spread out.
"I wanted to do that, but if he's truly happy Ion wanna ruin whatever he has got going on.." I mumble while looking at the ceiling.
"You know what, we're independent woman and we don't need no man to make us happy or help us out" Ashley states making me chuckle.
"Love the way you think" I say.
Just when Ashley wants to say something the door opens, I move my head a little to see Lonzo hovering over me with a confused look on his face.
"What the hell are you doing?" He asks still standing in the doorway with his hand on the doorknob.
"Oh ya know, just chilling" I respond.
"I ain't even gonna lie, you look like shit" He laughs while walking into my room and pulling me up.
"Oh thanks, love your honesty" I roll my eyes and throw myself on the bed.
"Why have you been so down lately?" He asks while sitting down on my vanity chair.
I never told Lonzo or Gelo what happened that day at the airport. When I came home looking like a mess I just said I got my period, and when they asked how my 'date' with Scotty went I told them we decided to be friends and nothing more.
"I haven't been down, what you talkin bout?" I try to sound a little more happy but it's just not working.
"Now why you gotta lie to me? You know you can talk to me" Lonzo says.
"No I can't cuz you always gotta joke around about the serious things I tell you" I tell him honestly.
"Okay but I still help you out" He smacks his lips while turning to me.
"Melo got a girl" Ashley says making me shoot up and look at her with wide eyes.
She gives me that -I'm sorry look- but that doesn't really help, I know she means well but girl come on now.
"So" Lonzo shrugs clearly not getting the memo.
I sigh knowing I'll have to tell the whole story now, cuz if I don't he'll annoy me till I spill all the beans.
"It wasn't Scotty's and my idea to be friends HE came up with it, he just knew Melo is THE guy for me even tho I ain't wanna admit it and he helped me realize that I just gotta accept it cuz there ain't no other guy that makes me feel like Melo does. Scotty told me he would still be my friend and that I should chase Melo while I still could, so there I went racing to the airport, running like a mad woman to find Melo only to see him cuddled up with some girl I've never seen a day in my life. So that's why I came home looking like a mess" I explain the whole situation to Lonzo.
I just know it takes everything in him not to make fun of me, and honestly I don't even care if he does cuz telling this story again makes me realize my life legit is a joke.
"Feels like I'm in an episode of Friends" He lets out an ugly laugh just like Melo always does.
I can hear Ashley trying not to laugh cuz she's failing miserably.
"Okay but all jokes aside, why did you give up just like that? Maybe it's just a friend, and even if it ain't I'm pretty sure he would choose you over her in a heartbeat. Now it's too late cuz it's been a week since Melo left and knowing you two shit will prolly just be akward" Lonzo says making me look at him.
"He has a point.." Ashley agrees.
"I just.. Ion know, I- I felt like.. I thought maybe it's not meant to be" I stutter feeling myself become emotional.
"You two always found your way back to each other why wouldn't it be meant to be?" Lonzo questions furrowing his eyebrows.
"Because I tried so hard to please him, yet he went to another girl. Then we speak again, he wants me back and just when I'm ready to give him my all he finds another girl AGAIN. That's not meant to be, if it were choice who choose this kind of love? I sure as wouldn't, I'm just stuck with it" I say frustrated.
"Maybe he's just looking for distraction" Ashley says.
"I wish he never liked me cuz he makes me weak, I can't think about anything or anybody else and can't sleep or eat. I just don't know what to do to not make it hurt, and don't say fall out of love cuz I can't" My vision gets blurry from the tears.
As I look away from Lonzo I feel Ashley grabbing my hand. I don't even try to hold back my tears, I've cried so many times it has become a daily thing. Only thing different is that no one knew, and now the one person who I definitely didn't want to know is sitting right next to me.
"I'm not gonna make fun of you Cherray, come here" Lonzo says while looking at me with open arms.
I get up from the bed and walk up to him, I lean down to give him a hug and he wraps his arms around me. I sit down on his right leg and lay my head in the crook of his neck, he doesn't let go of me and kisses my temple.
My feet literally can't touch the ground cuz his legs are that long and it makes me feel like a lil kid. Do you remember those times where you was a crying mess when you was younger and your dad placed you on his lap while hugging you and at some point you just sat there with your head against his chest/shoulder staring at nothing? Yeah me neither cuz my dad is an ass, but I saw it happen a lot of times and if I remember correctly that was me one time with Big Yank when I was 5 and Melo pushed me off the diving board and I fell straight on my face.
"I feel like a dad" Lonzo chuckles still rubbing my back.
"That's cuz you are one" Ashley says looking at him like he's dumb.
I let out a laugh followed by a lot of sobs and sniffs .
I really need to get my shit together
"Lil girl you to young to be doing all of this crying over a boy, even tho it's my lil brother fuck him. You needa be at a party right now and go to a beach tomorrow, just living life the fullest and you ain't need no boy to do so" Lonzo says patting my leg with his free hand.
"I know" I sigh and take a deep shaky breath.
"I understand it hurts Chay I really do, but you can't be crying about him forever cuz life goes on. I promise I'm gonna take you on a small trip next weekend so you can take your mind off him, just us girls we can invite Denise and Kaliah too" Ashley smiles.
Ashley really doesn't get enough credit for being such a good friend. When I go through her Instagram comments I see it's always full of hate, they say she's a clout chaser and that's the only reason why she got with Melo. They also say she's only my friend for more fame and shit like that, it makes me mad cuz the shit they see on BITF is such a small piece of our lives. They have no idea how Ashley is in real life and what she does for me, they just assume things cuz that's easy to do.
"I love y'all" I say with a small smile.
The door suddenly opens and in comes Gelo, he stops when he sees the state I'm and frowns.
"Melo" Lonzo says.
"Ooohh" Gelo nods. "Well dad brought food" He continues.
"Say no more" Lonzo says while standing up with me in his arms.
"Ion want food, just put me down" I mumble.
"Nope, you gonna eat cuz living life the fullest starts now, come on Ashley" He says while walking to the door.
"So who's gonna tell me what happened?" Gelo asks as we all make our way to the stairs.