Warning: This chapter contains material that may be triggering to some. In which include: Self Injury. If this content is triggering and/or disturbs you, then please skip this chapter
Songs for this chapter:
·Endlessly She Said by AFI
· Love Will Remember by Selena Gomez
·Feather On The Clyde by The Passenger
Harry's POV
The next day, I was sitting on my bed, and I hadn't had a wink of sleep. Jade had been on my mind the entire night and not matter how hard I tried, I could not get her off of my mind. I thought about our past and how I had managed to hurt her in more ways than one.
I had already cleaned the entire flat, and Liam went to get breakfast around nine that morning, he was due back at any minute. And I was sitting on my bed, listening to Jade snoring in the guest room.
" Harry." Tyler screamed from the doorway of my bedroom. I quickly turned my head and looked up at him.
" Hey." I mumbled.
" Um is it cool if I smoke?" Tyler asked nervously.
"Yeah, it's okay. But could I borrow one?"
Tyler gave me a puzzled look, "I didn't know that you smoked. "
"I don't, I only smoke when I'm stressed. " I admitted. Tyler sat down beside me on the bed and handed me a cigarette.
"Thanks." I smiled as he passed me his lighter. I brought the cigarette to my mouth and lit it, passed back Tyler his lighter and exhaled the smoke.
Tyler lit himself a cigarette and turned his head to look at me, "What's on your mind?" He asked.
"Nothing, just worrying about my classes" I lied.
I laid my head back against the headboard of my bed. My eyes were looking up at the robin egg blue ceiling of my bedroom. The ceiling did no justice on getting Jade off of my mind, because it just reminded me of her eyes.
I brought the cigarette to my mouth and inhaled. Tyler shifted in his seat and I exhaled the smoke. Tyler and I sat in silence. We both hated each other, so why should we act civil?
I closed my eyes for a second and memories of Jade and I flashed before my eyes.
" Harry, I want you to promise me something." Jade smiled, her eyes were wide and glistening.
"What's that love?" I brought my hand up to her face and brushed away the stray piece of hair away, an tucked it behind her right ear.
"No matter what happens. Promise me that you'll never forget me. We never know if we will be alive to see the next day. But promise me, that whatever happens in the future that you'll never forget me."
I smiled and pressed my forehead against hers. "Jade I could never forget you." I replied and Jade smiled. "I'll always be here for you."
"I love you, Harry." I gently brushed my lips upon hers.
"And I love you, my little bird."
"I know I'm hard to love" She joked.
"No, you're not, baby." Jade smiled and kissed me.
"I'll always love you, Harry. No matter what happens. If you ever left me, then I'd wait for you endlessly." She said confidently.
I sighed while opening my eyes, I felt as if I was dying of guilt. I stood up from the bed and left Tyler sitting there. I walked to the restroom, dropped the cigarette in the toilet and flushed it. I brushed my teeth to get the taste of the cigarette out of my mouth. I combed my hair and walked out of the restroom. I walked to the guest room that Jade was staying in. I peeked inside and noticed that she was still asleep. Slowly tip-toeing to her bedside, I sat down beside her on the floor.
I smiled, watching her chest rising and falling with every breath that she took. Taking in her appearance, from her high cheekbones to the neon yellow nail polish painted on her pedicured toes. She was so unbelievably skinny. Her collarbone was pressed up against her flesh, and her nail bed had a slight blue tinge to it.
She was so fucking broken and most of it was my fault. I made her that way. I watched her change from an innocent and pure teenager to a sick and depressive adult. Why did I have to agree with that bet? Why didn't I just ignore Louis? Why did I have to have such a big ego?
Jade shifted in the bed, and brought her hands to her face, rubbing the sleep from her eyes and making a cute little yawn. Jade turned her head to my direction and I then finally noticed that I must look like a creeper. I mean I was sitting on the floor, starting at her.
"Erm, Hi." I mumbled and Jade's eyes widened. "I came in to tell you that Liam will be here in a little with our breakfast. " I lied.
Jade just nodded and grabbed her cigarettes from the nightstand. She opened up the Marlboro Menthol pack and took out a cigarette."G'morn." She mumbled and I smiled.
"Juliet! " I heard Tyler yell from behind me. He ran to the bed and sat down beside her on the bed.
"Hi, Ty!" She chirped.
"How are you feeling?" He asked.
"Like shit!" She chuckled.
I gave Jade another quick smile before I picked myself off of the floor. Made my way out of the room and walked into my room.
Jade's POV
"Do you remember anything from last night?" Tyler asked me.
"Not really." I admitted. "Did I do anything stupid?" I asked and Tyler nodded.
"You passed out in a gas station restroom." Tyler said.
"Oh, god!"
"That's not even the worst of it all, Jules. " He added while lighting himself a cigarette. "You wouldn't listen to me. I had to call Liam and Harry to come."
Shit!
"And what else happened?" I asked.
"You kept yelling for Harry. When Liam and Harry arrived you were all over Harry. "
"Wha.." Liam interrupted me from the hallway. "I brought some breakfast, and we need to talk." Liam said. Tyler and I stood up from the bed and walked out of the room.
Liam knocked on Harry's bedroom door and made his way to the kitchen. Tyler and I took out seats at the table. Liam opened up the McDonald's paper bag and took out its contents, and placed them gently on the table. Harry walked into the kitchen and took a seat opposite of me. I looked down at my hands, I didn't want to look at him.
Liam placed a McMuffin in front of my hands and I looked up at him. "Liam, I can't eat this." I mumbled.
"Yes you can!" he spat and I felt tears beginning to form in my eyes.
Liam passed the rest of the food around. Tyler and Harry thanked him "Jade, I am very disappointed in you." Liam said while taking his seat.
"Why?" I asked quietly.
"Because of your antics last night. You made a fool of yourself."
I pushed the McMuffin away and stood up from the table. "So what I let you down?" I screamed.
"Yes! You got drunk, and passed out in a restroom of a petrol station! You've always let me down! You're a disappointment, Jade" He screamed.
I felt tears rolling down my cheeks. Tyler stood up beside and grasped my hand tightly. Tyler dragged me out of the kitchen and into the guest room. "Let's go to my apartment for a while, until he calms down okay?" I nodded and Tyler wiped away tears that were running down my cheeks with his hands.
I grabbed some clothes, and my coat and ran to the restroom. Swiftly I took off my clothes and put the fresh ones on. I opened up the medicine cabinet and searched for a unused razor. I finally found one and took off the protective cover. Taking the fresh blade to my arm, I pressed down. Quickly sliding it across my skin, I felt the familiar feeling of my skin being sliced open. I watched as the crimson blood made its way to the surface. I smiled at the sight, as sick it is for me to admit it but it was almost like a drug to me. I grabbed some toilet paper and pressed it against the wound. I kept it there for a minute before throwing it into the toilet and flushing it down the drain. I grabbed the razor and placed it's protective covering back onto the blades and slipped it into my pants pocket.
I slipped on my coat and walked to the guest room to meet Tyler. Tyler nodded and slipped on his coat and handed me a lit cigarette, in which I gladly accepted.Tyler grabbed my hand and intertwined our fingers. We exited the guest room together and walked to the front door.
"Jade, I'm.." Liam appeared in the doorway of the kitchen. Tyler opened up the flat door and stepped out.
"Save it." I interrupted him. "If all I ever done was manage let you down, then there is nothing stopping me now." I spat and walked out of the flat door.