I trudged through the hallway rubbing my eyes, slowly waking up from one of the best night’s sleeps I have had in ages. Seems like whenever I sleep in Jace’s bed, or better yet in his arms, I sleep like a baby.
Who needs sleeping pills when you have your own personal drug that knocks you the fuck out for the night?
Jace was still in bed, as were the other boys. The emptiness in the house was evident even now; it felt like something was missing. And that something was Drake.
It hurt so much knowing he was gone, and the guilt I feel will stay with me forever. No matter what anyone says to me, there is no way I can shake it off. The only thing I can do is carry on like normal because knowing Drake he would slap me around the head and tell me to stop acting like such a girl.
Either that or he would offer to put a smile on my face the other way he knew how, if you get my drift.
I smiled to myself. I can imagine him now, stood in front of me with a cocky grin on his lips and a brow raised suggestively as he said something about scratching one of his infamous itches.
I was still smiling to myself at the thought of Drake and his pervert nature as I walked into the kitchen, but that smile was soon wiped off as I saw the strange man sat at our kitchen table.
I didn’t even blink before I dived to the counter and grabbed one of the knives. He quickly shot out of his seat, knocking the chair on the floor and backed away, shouting and holding his arms up in defence.
I took a step closer and swung my arm, not to actually cut him just yet but as a warning not to try anything pretty or I will shove this knife so far up his ass it will tickle his eyeballs.
“Woah Woah! Calm down!” He protested, still holding his arms up and stepping to the other side of the table to put a good bit of distance between him and the crazy girl with the knife.
“Who the hell are you and what the fuck are you doing in my house?!” I demanded, holding the knife up higher and making my tone malicious.
“You’re Faith right?” he spoke quickly, obviously scared that I was going to snap at any second. Considering the last 24 hours I have had, I don’t blame him for thinking that. I was taken back as he said my name, narrowing my eyes suspiciously as to why this stranger would know who I am.
I scanned my eyes over him and took him in, realising this boy could not be a day over 20. He had shaggy brown hair and an athletic build and all in all he didn’t look like a threat. He looked like a scared boy who had just been jumped and was now desperately trying not to get stabbed. He reminded me of Connor when I first met him, with that air of innocence about him as well as a cocky/confident nature that you knew straight away he possessed.
“How do you know my name?” I questioned, not letting the hold on the knife slip at all. He may not look threatening but looks can always be deceiving.
Look at that bitch Holly.
The boy was just about to speak when the door burst open. Chris bundled in first, holding a gun up and scanning the room with it. He was followed closely by Jace and Connor, whose eyes were scanning the room as if they were prepared for people to come diving at them from all directions. Finally all of their eyes landed on the boy, who by now had eyes as wide as beach balls as he looked at the gun in Chris’s hand.
On normal circumstances I would laugh at how they looked, considering all of them had bed hair and were wearing only boxers. They looked like they had just rolled out of bed, which to be fair they had. Obviously the shouting from the kitchen had woken the boys up, and I had to hold back a smile as I realise just how fast they came to my rescue, even though technically I didn’t need rescuing.
“Who the hell are you?” Connor asked the boy, his tone defensive as he scanned the stranger up and down.
The boy swallowed hard before he spoke “I’m Josh. You must be Connor?”
Connor furrowed his brows as the boy guessed his name “And you know that how? And how the hell did you get in here?”
The gun was still pointed at him, as well as the knife in my hand which was still held out in front of me. I think this was what caused Josh to reply to Connor’s question in such a rush.
“I’ve got a key, I didn’t break in I just let myself in the front door like Ed told me to.” He spoke so fast his words barely made sense, but we all heard him correctly.
“Why would Ed give you a key?” Jace wondered out loud.
“Because this is where I’m going to be living. I’m the new recruit.” Josh explained, and instantly all of our jaws dropped to the ground. When none of us spoke due to our shock, Josh took it as his chance to continue “I was just walking back from football practice yesterday night and the next thing I know I get grabbed from behind and knocked out. When I wake up I’m in some sort of cell thing with some bloke telling me that I have been recruited. He takes me to an office where I met Ed, and he explained that a position had recently opened up in his firm and I was chosen to fill it.”
It was my turn to swallow hard, but it wasn’t from fear it was to swallow the sick that was threatening to come out. Chris lowered his gun, his mouth hung open as he took in Josh’s words. Jace was also open mouthed.
Connor however looked deadly.
His eyes turned a shade darker as he realised what was going on, and his hands were balled into fists at his side.
“’A position opened up’?” Connor repeated through gritted teeth, the disgust clear in his voice.
Josh nodded, the fear clear in his eyes as he took in the fury in Connor. “He said that one of his former agents was no longer with him and I was to replace them.”
The grip around my knife tightened as I heard the words of our boss as he talked about Drake. Ed, The man who snatched us all away from our normal lives and destroyed us was now talking as if Drake had resigned.
“No longer with him?!” Connor belted, his tone making everyone in the room flinch from its viciousness “He’s no longer with any of us! His ‘former agent’ was killed yesterday. Our best friend was killed yesterday and Ed sends some rookie to our home before Drake is even cold!” He turned and punched the fridge next to him, which no doubt will be dented now.
“I had no idea, I'm really sorry.” Josh said, the guilt in his voice was clear.
Chris sighed “It’s not you we’re pissed at mate. It’s Ed.”
“What a fucking pig.” Jace spat, clearly referring to Ed as he shook his head with distaste.
I couldn’t find words. The shock of what was happening right now was too much. Drake had been dead less than 24 hours and Ed had already replaced him, no sorrow or sadness about the friend that we have all lost. All he cared about was knocking his agents back up to 20 and getting the job done.
This was how disposable he thought his agents were. They die and mere hours later they are replaced without batting an eyelid. The realisation of this never hit me until now, until I saw it for myself. I knew Ed didn’t give a shit about us before, but now I realise just how little he thought of us. How little he cared if we were to all die while doing his jobs and following his orders.
We were taken from our lives by him and we gave up everything and everyone we loved to work for him. And why?
So that we could be replaced before we were even cold in our graves?
We risked our lives daily because of the orders of a man who thought more highly of the shit on his shoe than us.
“Do you want me to go?” Josh asked, looking between us all as he waited for an answer. I closed my eyes and inhaled after I looked at Josh, realising he was just a kid. The innocence in his eyes made me jealous because he didn’t know about any of this. He had yet to know about the type of life he would be leading. He too had been snatched from his life, which he would come to cherish and miss in years to come, by a man who couldn’t care less if he lived or died. And he had no idea what he had been sucked in to.
I knew this wasn’t his fault, so I shook my head.
“Don’t be stupid, none of this is directed at you we’ve just had a shit few days and this just tops it off.” Chris reassured him, however his sentence finished bitterly.
“I’m going to kill him. I swear to god I am going to knock his teeth out of his mouth and hammer them into his forehead!” Connor roared as he paced up and down the kitchen, not saying Ed’s name but it was clear who he was talking about.
Jace walked up to him and put an arm on his shoulder, stopping his frantic pacing. “Calm down alright, don’t do anything that will get you killed. We’ve already lost someone we care about, don’t wanna make it two now do we?”
Jace knew the boys now and I could tell he thought of them as close friends. With everything we had been through in the last few weeks, I knew the lads thought of him as one of us too.
Amazingly I saw Connor calm down slightly. I say slightly because he was still seething, but at least he had stopped beating up the kitchen.
I shook my head, running a hand through my hair as I finally found my voice.
“I can’t do this anymore.” My voice was croaked, and all of the boys shot their eyes to me. I looked up and met their eyes “I don’t want to do this anymore. This...This is too much.”
Jace walked over to me and placed his hand on my cheek, lowering his head to look at me in the eyes. His thumb moved along my cheek softly as if to reassure me “What Ed did was disgusting, but I know you Faith. You can do anything, giving up is not in your DNA sweetheart.”
I shook my head and raised my hands to my hair. “I’m not giving up, that’s not what I mean.” I paused as my thoughts took over. In an instant I made the decision. With everything that happened and now that I know just how much I was giving up in my life just to serve a man who couldn’t give a flying fuck about me, the decision was so clear it was unbelievable that I had not done this earlier. I had always thought about it, but never did I think I would ever do it.
Jace, Connor and Chris looked at me with questioning eyes.
“Faith?” Chris asked after I had not spoken in a while.
I lifted my head and looked at them. I couldn’t do this anymore.
“I want out of this shit life. I hated Ed with a passion before all of this, but after the stunt he just pulled I can’t bring myself to work for a man who makes my skin crawl more than Rob Dixon.” My tone was confident as I explained to them, with every word that came out of my mouth I was more determined to get out. I had to. “Basically, I quit.”
..