A/N : Tw for drunkenness. But like the goofy kind. Not the angry/screamy kind. He/they pronouns are used for Lena since he's canonically a demiboy so if you're confused by the constantly shifting pronouns, that's why
Steve was up late, working on some paperwork for a recent trade deal he'd scored. Most other people would've probably had a nervous breakdown just looking at the stack of papers in front of him, but he was unbothered. Was it his favorite part of being a mob boss? No. Obviously not. It was tedious as all hell and very boring. But he was used to it, so it didn't cause him any stress.
His phone began to ring, and a quick look at the contact photo confirmed it was Lena. He sighed, because it was three in the morning. Why was the wolf still up at three in the fucking AM?
"Hello, dearest" the horse said as he answered the phone. "Howdy" Lena replied with a small giggle that alerted their boyfriend that they were intoxicated. "Are you still working?"
"I got all of my urgent papers out of the way" Steve responded. "Why?"
"I want cuddles, bitch" Lena told him, his speech slightly slurred. Steve had to stifle a laugh because good God, his partner was ridiculous when they were drunk.
"Okay, you idiot" the horse caved, getting a small squeal of excitement from the wolf. "Are you at that dingy apartment of yours?"
"Yessir!"
----------
As Steve opened the door to Lena's apartment, a few Pepsi cans clattered to the side. The place was a fucking trainwreck.
Empty cans of beer and Pepsi littered the floor. There were burn marks from dead cigarettes all over the walls. There was a king sized mattress in the middle of the floor, covered with different stains. The whole place smelled of flat soda, tobacco, and juices that had collected in the trash can. Steve probably would've been horrified if this was new to him but he came to this place all the time, so it didn't phase him.
Lena was sprawled out on the mattress on his back with a drunken smile on his face, wearing nothing but a navy blue robe. "If I'm going to lay here, you need to get on your side" Steve instructed, alerting them of his presence.
"Someone's grouchy" Lena replied as he obediently turned to his side. Steve sighed. "I just don't want you to drown in your own vomit, dummy"
"You know you can curse, right?" Lena asked him, smiling as they felt the horse's weight distribute over the mattress followed by a grey arm wrapping over them from behind. "Like, who am I gonna tell on you for, hmm?" Lena rhetorically asked with a small chuckle. "Better yet, who would give a shit? 'Oh, boo hoo. Stevey boy called me a whore!'"
"I'll call you a lot worse if I hear the words 'Stevey boy' exit your mouth again"
"Is that a threat, pretty boy?"
"Shut the fuck up and get some sleep, Lena"