Eddie Van Halen imagines

What's going on?

Warnings: mention of eating disorders! I do not support or condone eating disorders and nor do I want anyone to go through them! I feel so badly for those who go through them and want you to know that you are appreciated and I'm so proud of you! Stay safe!
Word count: 1443
Request for @rockstarwild

Eddie had left for your a few days ago and I wasn't taking it very well. At first it was fine and I told myself it would be ok but that didn't last long. I started to get paranoid that Eddie would cheat on me with some really pretty rocker chick with a small waist and big tits. He would go for someone prettier than me and slimmer and paler and kinder.

I looked in the mirror more often, criticizing every stretch mark and sign of cellulite, every hair and blemish and imperfection. I compared myself to models in magazines and musicians and all of these gorgeous women.

I started to skip meals and exercise more. I went to the gym every day for at least two hours and only drank water. I weighed myself every day, multiple times a day. It was an endless cycle. Criticize, compare, exercise, starve, repeat.

One evening, I sat in bed, flipping through a magazine. Every model had bleach blonde hair and blue eyes with slim waists and perky tits. They had slim thighs and small feet and clear skin. I had none of those things.

I walk over to the mirror. My body was certainly very slim and skinny but also very honey and unhealthy looking. I started to get dizzy.

Over the weeks I had become slimmer and lighter. My frame was more bony and my hair was starting to get thinner. My head was always aching and my hands always cold.

It was a few days before Eddie would get home. I was very disappointed in myself with what I've become and what I've done to myself but I can't stop. It's like an addiction.

Eddie gets home today, later in the evening. I sit on the couch, wrapped in a thick blanket. My head aches and my cheeks are slightly hollowed and my stomach cramps. My hands are cold as ice and my hair is thin.

Hours pass, I wait for Eddie, practicing A smile in the mirror. I think of what I'll say to Eddie when he arrives. Would I hug him? Or kiss him? Or just say hi?

A few more hours pass, he'll be here any minute. I order his favorite pizza and light a candle. Once again I sit on the couch.

Moments later the door opens. My breathing stops and my eyes go wide. I rush to the door to say hi.

"Y/n! I've missed you so much you have no idea." He goes in for a hug

I lean back slightly, scared for the hug. "I've missed you to Ed!" I kiss his cheek "oh I also bought your favorite pizza! It's all for you." I smile

"Thanks y/n. You don't want any?"

"No I'm really not hungry."

He shrugs it off.

For the next couple days, I've avoided physical contact with Eddie. He'd ask me out to lunch and I'd reply with 'sorry I'm not hungry' or 'I kinda wanna stay in today.'

"Hey y/n?"

"Huh?"

"The guys are going to lunch, wanna come?"

"Nah I'm good. I'm not really in the mood. Thanks though." I smile

Eddie's POV:
Y/n had been acting really strange lately. She wasn't eating and she wasn't hanging out with me all that much.

I get in my car to meet the guys for lunch. I get there late, worried about y/n and wondering what the hell is going on.

"Hey Ed your late." I hear David