🌟She's Special🌟

Honesty Is The Best Policy

Salt Lake City International Airport (10:05 AM MDT) (Bella's Perspective)
We were on the plane headed back to New York. My senior trip was a wrap. While I'm sad it's over, I'm glad to go home. Well, not entirely glad, I just remembered that I have to talk to Mom when I get home. I don't think it'll go well. I scrolled through my gallery. We took a lot of pictures. Some of them were aesthetic, and some..well they were crazy, let me tell you that. Like the raw footage of hurt Leah after she fell off of the bed, I don't know, the 10th time on this trip. It was crazy, but fun.

Me: We're about to take off. I'll see you soon Mom.
Mom: Okay, have a safe flight! I love you, Bella.
Me: Love you too.

I put my phone down and listened to my music as I talked to Hannah.
"I loved snowboarding! It was so much fun, maybe we can get our parents to take us back."
"That would be awesome." I smiled.
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John F. Kennedy International Airport (5:50 PM) (Olivia's Perspective)
"Mom?!" I turned around to see my daughter and her class walk up towards me and the other parents.
"Sweet pea." I moved her luggage to the side and hugged my daughter. I signed her out and we walked towards the car.
"How was the trip?"
"It was pretty good." She said quietly.
"We skied and went snowboarding. Um, it was a lot of fun! Leah wiped out so many times. She's always clumsy."
"Poor Leah."
"And then we went out to this fancy restaurant. That was nice too." She put her suitcase in the car and handed me a souvenir.
"Look, it's a snow globe but Park City style."
"Thank you, it's pretty." Our conversation was pretty awkward and unnatural at this moment, but that was to be expected.
"Are you hungry? Do you want something to eat? We have quite the ride."
"Can I have some Chick Fil A?"
"Of course, let's go get some, but we're not going to tell your brother and sister about this." She giggled. I found one nearby and as I drove home I thought about how to start this conversation with Bella. I wondered if I should start now, or when we go home. Maybe when we go home, it'd be easier. I looked over to my side as I ordered the food to see Bella sound asleep. I know she's had a long day. I collected the food and put it down next to me. I don't know what more awkward right now, talking to Bella in this state, or being drowned by my thoughts.

"Mommy, I don't do lipstick! You can do that by yourself, okay?"
"But you're supposed to be a makeup artist." I joked.
"Well, you know how to put on lipstick, you don't need my help, Olivia." 5-year-old Bella put on her princess dress and slippers.
"I have a date tonight."
"A date?"
"Yeah! I have a date with Truffle. He promised me a diamond necklace. So I can't stay, Mommy." She sashayed out of the room and I rolled my eyes. This girl is a handful.
^^^^^^^^^^
Bella's Bedroom (7:15 PM)
"We have to talk now, don't we?" She asked. I nodded.
"Bella, why did you hide everything from me? The bikini, the photos. Bella, I feel like these days you've been hiding a lot from me. Why is that?" She looked down at the ground. Bella looked extremely ashamed.
"Sweet pea, why is that?"
"It's just...I felt like you're going to be mad and disappointed in me about the post. So I restricted it from you."
"Bella, I was more taken aback than upset. Bella, you can't be posting things you don't normally post and acting differently when something's bothering you, we've talked about this, it isn't healthy to do that. I know and understand that you're growing up and wanting space to deal with your emotions, but you can't be negatively dealing with your emotions on the internet, where it stays, forever."
"But Mama, it isn't just about that. Everyone posts those types of pictures! I just wanted to be normal without judgment." She admitted. Bella was crying into her sweater.
"But Bella, that's not the way to go about it, I don't want you to be preyed on by the internet because of these pictures. You understand that? Right?" She nodded.
"Actually, no. It isn't the bikini picture. It isn't the bikini itself, it isn't the posing. It's the hiding. You should feel comfortable being yourself on the internet without being scared about me being upset with you. But baby girl, I worry about you so much, and when you start to get secretive, like the way you do whenever something's wrong. I get concerned. Understand?" She nodded, and I gave her a kiss.
"And Bell, where do you get that swimsuit from?"
"When I went shopping, I picked it up."
"I just wanted to try it. I thought it looked pretty." Amanda was right about her being vulnerable.
"Bella, then why haven't you been coming to me with these things? I've been thirteen once too. I get the pressures of trying to look a different way."
"But Mom, you don't get it." She said while crying.
"I don't wanna tell you anything because usually when I do the things I do, you freak on me, and act like I'm some crazy person. I just didn't want you to judge me and get mad at me, because that's what you usually do."
"Bella, when have I ever judged you? Tell me, because if I did unintentionally make you feel judged, I'm so, so sorry." She continued to cry.
"It's hard because of everything, Mom."
"What?"
"Trying to be 'normal'. Because of everything that has happened to me before."
"Bella, let me tell you something, there no such thing as normal. Everyone is unique in their own way. It's okay to have feelings about what happened to you beginning to bubble up again, you're at the age where topics such as sex, drinking, and drugs come up, and I know you're sensitive to them."
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My Room (Manhattan) (7:35 PM) (Bella's Perspective)
"But baby, the only way we'll get through this really tough time, is if we talk to each other. Don't you agree?"
"Yeah," I replied calmly.
"So tell me, what can I do to make you feel more comfortable approaching me and opening up to me like the way we were before?"
"Just be very calm, and understanding, and not get mad right away before I explain myself."
"Okay, that's fair. What else?"
"Give me a little bit of space when I get upset, to process it before we talk." She nodded.
"And, I just really, really need you to hug me when I'm feeling down. It means a lot."
"These are all acceptable terms, but I have one thing."
"What is it, Mom?"
"I don't want you to come only when you have a problem Bell. I want you to be able to come and talk to me all the time without feeling afraid of judgment. So I'll take note of everything you said, but you have to stick to your word."
"I will, I promise."
"Okay, and if you really feel uncomfortable talking about anything, we could have a journal to share like we did before when you were younger."
"Oh yeah, I remember that." I smiled as I felt a sense of nostalgia.
"I can do that. Pinky promise?"
"Pinky Promise." We pinky swore and I gave my Mom a big hug.
"Your dinner is waiting for you downstairs, and so is your Dad."
"Oh. I'm not hungry."
"It's okay Bella, I already talked to him. You need to eat something." We went downstairs to the kitchen and dining room, and I saw Dad. He was sitting at the island talking to Lei about kid's stuff.
"Look, Daddy, Bella's back! I'm excited." He looked up. I bit the sleeve of my sweater.
"Bella!" He hugged me.
"How was your trip?"
"It was good."
"I wanna know about it Bell, I wanna know everything you did!" Lei said excitedly. I told them about how it went, but it was super awkward, considering I know that Dad isn't happy with me right now. But at least I'm not in trouble, right?
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Saturday, January 16th (9:35 AM) (Garden City, Hempstead, New York) (Leia's Perspective)
"Daddy, what are you doing?" I asked as I carried Lolo Kitty into the family room.
"Texting Maureen. Come here, angel." I sat next to him and he hugged me.
"Sleep well?"
"Yeah, I had good dreams."
"You did?" I nodded.
"Daddy, you and Mommy love each other right?"
"Yes, very much."
"Mommy said that when two people are married they can have babies. How come you guys don't have babies?" I asked.
"What do you mean? You guys are our babies."
"No, I mean a real baby!" I giggled.
"Trust me, we don't need anymore babies. I've got one already and she's a handful."
"Hey! I'm not a baby!"
"Yes, you are."
"Well, then you have to prove it."
"Well, you wake up in the middle of the night and come to our room, you want Daddy to hold you-"
"Well, I am big baby! But I only came once! There was a monster under my bed. He tried to grab me and it was kind of scary." I teased. Daddy tickled me.
"You're too silly, there are no monsters under your bed."
"I know! Dad, can we go to the movies?"
"The movies?"
"Yeah, I want cookie dough bites and popcorn."
"Well, I have to ask Mom."
"But please! Please! We can keep it a secret."
"Sorry Lei, but we have to tell her."
"Tell her what?" Mommy asked while coming inside with groceries.
"Aw biscuits!"
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Our Basement (Long Island, New York) (10:15 AM) (Bella's Perspective)
I was still feeling extremely tired from our trip. I just wanted to sleep all day. I looked at the time before going back under the covers.
"Rise and shine!" I heard Elliot say.
"Please turn off the lights."
"Leia and I are going to the movies."
"That's great for you guys."
"You don't wanna come?"
"No, I don't."
"Okay." Elliot sat next to me on the couch.
"Bell, I'm not upset with you. You don't have to separate yourself from me."
"Yeah, you are," I said while folding up my blanket.
"That isn't fair to say, you tell Liv and I not to make assumptions about you, but you're doing it right now." He laughed.
"Bella, please don't go upstairs. I just want to talk to you."
"Sure."
"I was a bit upset with the picture. I'll be honest with you. But then I realized, I remembered that you're not 9 years old anymore. You're a young lady, and compared to the types of photos I've seen other 13-year-olds take, yours was actually pretty decent. It was just so unlike you though, and it caught us off guard. I've witnessed many little girls grow up. However, I came into your life when you were 9 years old, and I got really attached to the little Bella, to the point where I still thought of you as a child. Even now. And for that, I'm sorry."
"Dad-"
"No, I am. We were just concerned when you chose to hide it from us. But seeing that you've unrestricted us and out the post back up. It's okay. Bella, we get that you're growing up, but just don't hide it okay? It worries us. And, feel free to talk to me about anything, anytime. Okay?" I nodded and he hugged me.
"I love you."
"Love you too."
"Still don't wanna go to the movies?"
"No, I'll go. I just need to shower."
"Alright. Be quick. Don't stay in the shower forever."
"I won't." I laughed and he went upstairs. I guess I can be more open with Mom and Dad.