🌟She's Special🌟

Pondering

Friday, April 15th (5:45 PM) (Park Ave.) (Bella's Perspective)
Sometimes, when I need some alone time after school and gymnastics I like to go to the park and write in my diary. It allows me to address the issue (if any) and sort of put my mind at ease. This time around, I was here because there's something I've been wanting to ask my Mom about, but I get embarrassed every time I try.

"Great, every single time we have to run laps, I'm on my period. Isn't that amazing?" Hannah asked sarcastically.
"Mother Nature has it out for you." Sapphire commented. When 8th grade started, me and a couple of my friends hadn't gotten their period, as the year progressed though people started to get theirs, and eventually I was the only girl who hadn't gotten it. It's an insecurity of mine. I just feel upset knowing that I'm not "normal" like everyone else.
"What about you, Bella? Have you ever gotten it on lap days?"
"I haven't gotten it at all." I said while walking out of the locker room.

"I'm not normal at all." Yeah, you're not. Normal kids don't get abused in a warehouse and have their Dad go to jail for reasons unknown to them. I hate the pity parties but it's all true. Normal people haven't experienced the things I have. I feel like I can handle not being normal to an extent, but I wish people would tell me things. Why is my Dad in jail? Why did my biological Mother start doing drugs? And so much more. I wrote all of this in my diary, trying to make sense of it all. I wish someone would be honest with me about this stuff.
"I should get home before Lucy calls." I wasn't far from home luckily, so Lucy wouldn't have to worry. I decided to drown out my thoughts by listening to my happy playlist. As I headed towards York Ave. I tried to fill my mind with happy things.
"Hey, Bella!"
"Jayden!" I hugged him warmly.
"You've gotten so tall!"
"And so have you. It's been forever." Jayden is my elementary school friend, we used to hang out a lot until middle school came around and crapped on everything.
"Has Kayla been annoying you a ton?" I asked with a smile.
"Too much. She's been doing better lately though." I smiled.
"That's good. Do you still watch Carter's Journey?"
"Of course! That'll always be our thing." I giggled.
"Hey, I gotta go to the bakery, how about we chat later?" He asked.
"Cool! Text me!" Just as soon as my thoughts were starting to evaporate, he leaves. Awesome. I stepped inside of my house and my nose was immediately overwhelmed by the smell of tomato sauce.
"Hey, Bella!"
"H-Hi, Mom. What're you doing here?"
"I decided to come home to surprise you guys." Ace jumped up to show me some love and I cuddled him.
"Oh."
"How was school?"
"Fine."
"Fine? You've been saying that every day this week."
"Because school's just okay." I helped Mom make the mashed potatoes for the stuffed peppers. I watched as she focused on the ground lamb in the pan, constantly stirring it so it'd cook evenly.
"Mom?"
"Yes, babe?"
"Can I talk to you after dinner?"
"Of course, honey. You seem a bit jittery, are you alright?"
"As fine as can be."
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My Bedroom (7:35 PM) (Manhattan, NY) (Olivia's Perspective)
"Poppy the Purple fairy is all ready for bed! She's brushed her teeth, taken a bath, and changed into her favorite purple pajamas! Mommy Fairy tucked her in and said good night my fairy princess! May you have the best of dreams." I closed the book and kissed Leia.
"Time for bed sweetie. Go to your room and wait for me, I'll come to tuck you in, okay?"
"Okay!" She left and Bella sat down on my bed with SkipBo cards in hand.
"When you said you wanted to talk, I didn't realize it'd involve our favorite game. Are you trying to butter me up?" I joked.
"I thought it'd better this way, so I felt less embarrassed." I realized the direction of the conversation.
"Embarrassed? Why?" She sighed and set up the game. We played for a bit before I decided to break the silence.
"Bella? It's your turn sweet pea." She put down her SkipBo card and stared down at the ground.
"What's wrong?" I asked.
"Can I talk to you about something?"
"Of course, what is it?"
"Im the only girl in my grade that hasn't gotten their period Is something wrong with me?"
"Bella, no, not at all."
"Then why haven't I gotten it?! Everyone else in my grade has gotten theirs!" She pointed out.
"You guys are all in different stages of development, Bella. You've always been a late bloomer and there's nothing wrong with that."
"Yeah, there is." I chuckled.
"I didn't get my period until my freshman year of high school, we all get it at different ages, you're fine honey." I explained.
"Mom, that was the old days, these days people get it when they're 12."
"Don't hold yourself to such standards."
"I'm not, I'm just a bit worried. Are you sure something isn't wrong with me? I heard about a girl who didn't have a uterus! It's a real thing." I laughed again.
"Bella, you have a uterus honey. I'm sure of it."
"How do you know that, weirdo?"
"Because of everything you went through at the hospital babe, you're a healthy young lady."
"Sure."
"Look, if it's bothering you so much, why don't you ask the doctor about it tomorrow?"
"Tomorrow?"
"Yes, you're going to the doctor, did you forget?" I asked her. I have to say, I never realized that Bella felt so insecure about her development. I've told her that people develop at different rates but I now realize that she just wants to be like everyone else, I wonder what I could do to help her.
******************
Manhattan Family Practice (Saturday, April 16th) (10:17 AM) (Bella's Perspective)
We've been here for about 30 minutes. I haven't been here that long and I was already over the entire thing. I looked at my phone before putting in my headphones.
Julie: Are you and your friends free today, I'm so bored! I heard that there's going to be a Grey's Anatomy convention type thing near Macy's, how does that sound?
Me: I'm at the doctor's right now, but I can go! I'll ask around.

"Bella Benson?" The lady asked.
"That's us. Let's go sweetheart." I took out my headphones as we walked into the examination room.
"Alright, can you hop onto the scale for me?"
"I'm scared! The boys made bets on how tall I am! I said 5'6 because I'm not that much shorter than you, Mom." She and the assistant laughed.
"5'6 1/4 and 130 pounds." Mom tilted her head.
"Thank goodness you're not underweight anymore." She said.
"Mooom!" I said while blushing.
"You weren't at a healthy weight before Bella. I'm proud of you for taking care of yourself, you don't have to be ashamed."
"Your Mom's right! Okay, Dr. Herring will be coming in shortly." I sat on the exam table quietly and looked at my Mom.
"Mom, can I hang out with Julie?"
"When?"
"After we get home. We're just going to the Grey's convention I told you about."
"Who else is going?"
"It's just us for right now. I'm going to ask Leah and Sapphire soon."
"Okay, but come home at a reasonable hour young lady." I nodded. Could the doctor come already? I stared off into space for a moment before she came in. I greeted her warmly and she began to check my ears, nose, and throat.
"How have you been feeling, Bella?"
"Pretty good, I haven't gotten sick in a while and my headaches have stopped."
"That's nice to hear. Your charts look good, but you need a shot." She pointed out. She gave Mom a pamphlet and explained to her the importance of the shot.
"When's the date of your last menstruation?"
"None, I haven't gotten it yet."
"You haven't?" She checked my growth charts and put them up on the board.
"When Bella first started maturing, we set up this growth chart for her. Over the past couple of years, she's had some growth spurts and hit all of the predicted expectations and milestones so far, except that. You see, we predicted that she'd experience menarche at 12 and how old are you now, Bella?"
"13. Is that a bad thing?" I asked.
"No not at all, these are predictions, not fact. The timing of one's period is based on their genetics and environment. Usually, a girl starts her first period around the same time her Mom did."
"See Bella, there's nothing to worry about. I got mines at 14, it's different for everybody. You'll probably start around the same time." That's absolute bullshit. We're not biologically related so her words mean nothing! Mom wouldn't even let me ask Maria about it. Honestly, I'm sick of her continuous efforts to hide things from me! I ask about my Dad, she doesn't tell me. She begins to tell me about what happened with my Mom and she just stops. Now, she's trying to make me feel better by convincing me that I'll get mines around the same time she did, we don't even know that. That's something my bio Mom should be telling me.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^
(Home) (12:07 PM)
I just hopped out of the shower and was beginning to get dressed to meet up with Jules. I thought for a moment. Don't do it, you can't do this behind Mom's back! My mind said. But my heart wanted answers. My heart wants closure. My heart wants an explanation.

Me: I'm sorry to bother you, but are you busy today?
Maria: You're never a bother to me, dearest. I'm free, what's up?
Me: Can you meet me at Central Park, please? By the East 72nd Street playground, just to talk.
Maria: Sure, does Olivia know?
Me: Of course! I just told her! 😊

~to be continued