🌟She's Special🌟

New Revelations

505 East 74th Street (Home) (10:25 AM) (Bella's Perspective)
"Look, your Mom's at the door waiting for you." I hopped out of the car and ran up the stoop to hug her.
"Hey, sweet pea. Are you feeling better?"
"A lot better. I'm sorry for scaring you yesterday."
"It's okay, you were going through a lot. I'm not upset. Go unpack, we have therapy soon." I went upstairs to get ready to head out again soon. I saw Noah outside of his bedroom door.
"Hey."
"Hey."
"You feel better?"
"Yeah."
"Great. If you need anything, I'm here. Morgan said she'll call you."
"Thanks." I went into my room and sat down on my floor sofa. I took a moment to process everything that happened in the last 12 or so hours. Right when I was about to start getting ready for therapy, my door opened. Why can't people ever knock?
"Bella, you're home! I missed you! Are you happy again?" Leia said while sitting in my lap.
"Well, I'm not all the way happy, but guess what?"
"What?"
"I'm happy enough to play Battleship with you when I get back home from therapy."
"Yay! I'm gonna set it up in the family room, winner gets to boss around the loser until bedtime!" She declared. Oh, dear...
^^^^^^
Mount Sinai Adolescent Center (1:15 PM)
"Good afternoon guys." Dr.Johansson said while taking out some of my favorite games.
"Good afternoon." We said in unison. I took off my jacket and hung it up before sitting on the couch.
"Usually, we like to have an opening activity. Considering the gravity of the situation we have here I think it's even more important that we do one." She gave us a core beliefs worksheet, the first words I saw were, "I am a failure". The fundamentals of CBT were on this paper and yet I didn't use them when I felt this way. I feel ashamed.
"Is this familiar to you, Bella?" I nodded.
"You gave this to me when we started last year."
"That's right. Using this, can you explain the problems you're having."
"Well, a problem of mine is that I think I'm a failure." I could tell it pained my mother to hear this.
"Because of that core belief, I have low self-esteem." At the moment we were dealing with my problem, I didn't want to get into the reason why Mom was here right away. That wound was still too..raw.
"Why do you have this belief?"
"Because I'm just going about life with no direction, and if I still can't figure it out, I might as well be one." My Mom sat closer to me.
"Dr. Johansson, is it okay if I say something?"
"Of course."
"Bella, you still have time to figure it out, I know you feel like you have to grow up so quickly because you're going to high school, but the matter of the fact is that you're still a kid, it's okay, no one is expecting you to know it all Bella. We know that, we just need you to realize that."
"Your Mother's right, honey."
"I try to realize it. I do. But then the voices in my head start to get loud, and I can't control them."
"Which voices?" Mom asked.
"Bella, tell us. Tell us about the voices."
"They kept saying I'm going to be a failure."
"Bella, does this happen when you don't take your medication?"
"Yeah, but it happens when I take it too." She wrote that down. We talked further about how I'm not a failure, and the importance of having a positive mindset.
"You know how I've just been saying this makes me feel better but it hasn't?"
"Yes."
"I do feel better this time."
"That's great honey. And, if you still feel bad after a conversation you can be honest and say it."
"But I don't want anybody to feel useless."
"Sometimes certain methods don't work, so we just have to try new ones. It's okay." My therapist said.
"Fair."
"Are you ready to talk about your second belief?" I sighed. I wish I didn't have to do this.
"Yes. My second belief is that I can't be open with others, even my Mom. This causes me to distrust others and withdraw myself. It also prevents me from talking about my issues."
"Why do you have this belief?"

"Val, please you got to believe me," I begged. The bad guys were outside getting drinks.
"Believe what?"
"They hurt me." I cried.
"How are they hurting you? You have all of this space, toys, food."
"Nu-uh. They don't even give me water, and they hurt my private every day. They are bad guys. Why won't you believe me?"
"Because it isn't true. Do you have proof?" I showed her the blood and cuts under my long-sleeved clothing. My stained underwear. She looked shocked.
"Please help me."
"I'll help you." She never did. As matter of a fact, after that day she never came back to the warehouse. She saw the evidence, heard the screams, and refused to help me. After that, I began to distrust people who swore they'd help me. Even my own Mama. It hurts me so much that I feel that way towards her sometimes, but I can't help it. I've never told anyone before. I've never properly dealt with it. This is why I am the way I am.
*****************
Dr.Johansson's Office (2:45 PM) (East 94th Street) (Olivia's Perspective)
The two of us watched as Bella began to cry. She'd been staring into space for minutes, a clear indicator that she had a flashback.
"I don't want to talk about this."
"Bella, let's use the feeling technique."
"No, I don't want to. I don't want to. Please." I didn't know what to do. My daughter, who I claim to know so well is crying and I don't know how to comfort her. Then again, I can't know if I don't know what the problem is.
"Bella, let us in please."
"No, I'm just going to end up unhappy again."
"Bella, you're going to be unhappy if you continue to hide this from us. It'll eat away at you."
"Bella, your Mom attended this session so we could work on your relationship, we can't work on it if you're not opening up. Why don't you want to speak about it?"
"Because it brings back memories of the warehouse and I don't want to go there again."
"If you let it out you'll feel better." Bella's abuse has a way greater impact on her life than she'd like to believe.
"Bella, a step to moving forward is letting us know the full story. And, I promise if you let us in it'll be worth it."
"Can I have my favorite pillow?" I handed it to her and she rested her head on my lap. I stroked her back calmly, the way I would when she was a small girl whenever she felt sad or angry. She began to calm down. Her breathing slowed and she stopped sniffling.
"I don't trust people because when I was at the warehouse, I told someone that I was being abused and they didn't help me at all. I showed her the bruises and cuts, my stained underwear, and she promised to help me. But she never did. She just disappeared. That factored in with the abuse itself is why I can't trust people who are willing to help, I freak out and think that they'll just disappear just like she did." Bella's therapist took down notes for the next session.
"Who did that to you? What's their name?" I asked calmly. Under the calmness I was demonstrating to my daughter I was feeling immensely livid. This explains everything that's been going on for the past couple of years.
"Can we talk about it in private?" She asked.
"Yes, of course."
"Dr. Johansson, I'd like to fix my relationship with my Mom. I want to learn when it's appropriate to tell her things and when I can keep things to myself." She smiled.
"Admitting that there's an issue is the first step to solving it. You have been improving Bella, whether you realize it or not. The old you wouldn't have told us about this, you would've refused. You would've sat here and not said a single thing until the time was up, but this time around, you told us everything and I couldn't be more proud." I think this is a great first step towards fixing our relationship.
****************
Match 65 (29 East 65th Street) (The Upper East Side) (Elliot's Perspective)
After Liv and Bell came back from their therapy session we went out to dinner with our family friends, The Jeffersons.
"Remember the trip we took together to New Hampshire, Liv?" Elena asked.
"Yes, on our spring break in college. It was amazing."
"You guys went to New Hampshire?!" Bella and Lila asked.
"We did, it was a spur of the moment type of thing, neither of us felt like going home at the time, so we packed our things and went north."
"How come I didn't know about this trip?" I asked.
"I didn't think you'd care."
"Funny, I was about to ask if Olivia told you about the guys we met on that trip." The girls laughed at Elena's comment.
"Liam, our Mommies got boyfriends when they went to New Hampshire," Leia whispered.
"You can't have boyfriends when you're married!" He whispered back.
"No, but really, what happened on that trip?"
"Yeah, we wanna know too."
"Girls, this isn't age-appropriate for you guys."
"Aww, come on it can't be that bad." Liv shot the girls an interesting glare.
"Or is it?" At that point, the whole table was laughing at their reluctance to talk about what they encountered on the trip.
"El, you know it's bad when she doesn't answer." Noah remarked.
"Yeah! I think you need to talk to your wife." Bella said, jokingly.
"You have to be honest, girls." Leia said while smiling. She's so cute.
"Excuse me, Aunty Olivia?"
"Yes, Lila?"
"When can Bella and I have another sleepover?!"
"Yeah, Mom when can we?!" Olivia thought to herself.
"Whenever you guys are free on the weekends or breaks. No one's stopping you. You can come over whenever you want, Lila." Lila is Olivia's goddaughter and they have a great bond.
"Yay, thanks!"
"Me and Liam can have sleepovers too, Daddy?"
"Of course!" Leia whispered in his ear and she hugged him.
"All of this talk about sleepovers is getting me really excited for this July."
"You guys keep joking about July. What's happening in July?!" Noah asked.
"You'll see." I said.
"But the time July hits I would've already figured it out. I'm a really good detective."
"Well, we'll see."
***************
My Bathroom (8:45 PM) (505 West 74th Street) (Bella's Perspective)
Today was a very long day. After we got back from the restaurant I went straight to my bathroom to wash my face and start getting ready to wind down for the evening. I still harbored some feelings from today. Today was the first time that I've even mentioned Valorie other than in my diary. Never have I once mentioned Valorie to Mom, ever. Actually, there are quite a lot of things that I haven't told Mom about the warehouse.

"Mommy? Can we go home now? My privacy hurts." I said while crying. She slapped me on the cheek and the men laughed. Valorie didn't help me, my own Mommy won't help me. I'll be here forever.

"Hey Bells, are you taking off your makeup?" I nodded and asked for some privacy so I could put on some pajamas.
"Is it okay if we talk when you're done?"
"Yeah." I sluggishly changed into some shorts and my tie-dye shirt before letting Ace into my bedroom.
"Woof!"
"I love you, sweet boy! Come on my bed!" I tapped the bed and he hopped on happily.
"Bella, I just wanted to talk to you about Valorie. I'd that okay?"
"Yeah, but I'm a bit scared."
"Why?"
"I've never talked about her before." Mom hugged me and rubbed my forehead.
"Do you remember Valorie's full name?"
"Mommy, why are you doing this? It's been like 8 years."
"I don't care if it's been a million years, what she did was wrong and I'm not letting her get away with this."
"So if you're arresting her for not helping me, why didn't you arrest my horrible mother too?"
"Bella-"
"Why didn't you arrest her?" I asked her again.
"Bella, we didn't arrest your mother because she gave us some really valuable information about the people who hurt you. These men were also hurting other girls so we made the deal."
"I didn't tell you at the time because you were young and you wouldn't understand." I couldn't even argue back and say 'Why did you hide that from me??' I've hidden a lot from Mom as well. Now that I'm older, I understand how her job works and I guess my Mom's info helped to put a lot of the pedos away.
"I understand. Mom, can I be honest with you?"
"Mhm?"
"I'd rather you punish at least one person who didn't help me than let them live their life as if they've done nothing wrong. And lately, I've been having some negative thoughts about the whole thing."
"You have? Bella, I didn't know any of this. You haven't been letting me in, sweetheart. Why haven't you been writing in the journal about this?"
"Because I thought I moved past it! And, you've been coming home upset from work and stuff. I didn't want to bother you."
"Bella talking about these things is not bothering me!" Mom and I hugged as she caressed my back. I still have so much more to say though. What else is Mom hiding from me?

To be continued~