She Wasn't You

Chapter 7

I woke up the following morning with a clear conscience. Knowing what I had done was wrong on so many levels but in my mind, my actions were warranted.

I had never done anything like that before. I didn't have a bad bone in my body but she made me crack, she made me go to a length I didn't think was possible. I had just murdered somebody but didn't feel an ounce of guilt.

Was that normal? Would the guilt hit me like a ton of bricks further down the line?

"Good morning! Did you have a good time last night? So much for being out for a couple. You didn't get in until 3am!" Ellie snuck back under the covers of the bed and rested her head on my chest. The sweet smell of her shampoo from her chestnut brown hair radiating my senses. She smelt fresh and welcoming. She smelt like home.

"Yeah, sorry about that. It was nice catching up with Danny and like always, we just lost track of time." I kissed the top of her head as I placed an arm around her.

"It's okay. I know what you boys are like. Listen, my Mum has offered to have the kids for the weekend so I'm going to take her up on the offer and dropping them off to her in a minute. So go and get yourself together and we'll have a weekend, just the two of us!" She jumped up from the bed, excited for a child free couple of days.

"Sounds good to me. Let me jump in the shower and I'll be dressed and ready to do whatever you want when you get back." I stretched my arms out, clearing the ache from the nights sleep.

She kissed me on the lips softly before skipping out of the room. She needed a break, we hadn't had time to ourselves for months so this was long overdue.

I was grateful for not having to face the kids this morning. How could I look them in the eye after what I had done last night. Maybe that would have triggered the guilt?

I took my weary body into the shower and undressed, standing naked in the mirror, just staring at my reflection still trying to contemplate what had happened. Although I showered when I got home last night, I could still smell her on me, the smell of death lingering on my skin.

                                ~~~

"How did you manage to leave your laptop at the pub? Were you that drunk?" Ellie turned to me in the car as I had to re-route our shopping day trip to the pub.

"I don't think I was. You know me babe, I'd forget my head sometimes, if it wasn't screwed on. That's why I have you. Without you I'm useless."

I saw her smile from the corner of my eye. "Very true. You men need a woman in your life just to keep you in check. We're like babysitters."

As I pulled up into the car park of the pub. I told her to wait in the car. I intentionally left my laptop with the barman as I didn't need extra baggage last night and by coming back first thing in the morning, I could ask the questions I needed to ask in order to clear my mind.

"Morning, Tommy. Come back for your laptop?" I watched as he reached under the bar to grab my case. I'd been coming to this pub for years and could never remember this guys name.

"Thanks mate. Appreciate you looking after this for me. I don't trust myself not to lose it after a few too many beers." I take the bag back into my possession.

"I assume your CCTV would pick up someone taking it if it did come to that though, right?"

He laughed. "Between the two of us, our CCTV hasn't been working for three weeks. We've been calling for a technician to come and fix it but we're still waiting. So it's lucky you handed it in really. Because we would have been no help in tracking someone down if it did go missing."

You couldn't make this up. So nobody could physically put me at this location last night should anyone feel the need to question me over any of this! God bless the broken CCTV.

"Thank you. I really appreciate it. Have a good day." I turned and walked away brimming with confidence now.

I may have just got away with this.

"Did you not leave your jacket there too?" Ellie asks as I get back into the car. "I didn't see it at home either?"

I shook my head. "No, I left it at work. It didn't feel too cold yesterday so left it on my chair."

The lies were beginning to pile up now but I had to cover my tracks. Fortunately, I think I've gotten away with both lies so far.

After the fight the young girl had put up last night, the incessant scratching at my jacket as she attempted to fight back. I knew the fragments of my clothing would be under her nails, so I had to get rid of it and sharpish.

Fortunately for me, as I was walking home in far less of a panic than perhaps I should have been, I noticed a homeless man crouched down, trying to keep himself warm so it felt selfish of me to keep the jacket myself and I felt the jacket would be much more welcome to him than the police.

He gratefully accepted my offering. Granted, I almost froze to death on the remainder of my long walk home but it had to go.

Maybe, in some crazy world the act I carried out on the girl would be countered by my good deed?

That's how life worked, right?

***