She Wasn't You

Chapter 4

1998

I think it took us three or four weeks to finally meet properly. We had spent everyday glancing across at each other, stealing little looks across at one another when we would pass during breaks and in the corridors between lessons. I used to love the lunch breaks as we would get a whole hour to catch glimpses across the hall. Our eyes spoke louder than the words we had yet to share.

I saw you at your locker one day, surrounded by your friends, you were the glue that held this group together, you were the Alpha amongst your friends. You weren't horrible with the power either, you just stood taller than them.

I always enjoyed the end of my English lessons as I knew you would be outside by your locker, I'd guarantee that I would always be late for my next lesson as I would hang around with my friends in the corridor just to hear the sweet tones of your voice, to watch those two dimples on your face as you smiled and see your whole face light up when you would let out one of those big laughs of yours. I knew you were trying to catch my attention but you didn't need to. You already had me hooked.

5 or so years later, I would find a song that would remind me of you for the rest my life. It was almost like it was written for us, well the first verse at least.

If you do happen to read this one day and you're curious about the song, it was written by Jack Johnson and the song is called 'Do You Remember'.

Just in case you don't want to listen, I'll note down the part that reminds me of us...

"Do you remember when we first met? I sure do.
It was some time in early September.
But you were lazy about it, you made me wait around.

I was so crazy about you I didn't mind
So, I was late for class, I locked my bike to yours.
It wasn't hard to find ‒ you painted flowers on it.
Guess that I was afraid that if you rolled away
You might not roll back my direction real soon.

Well, I was crazy about you then and now
The craziest thing of all,
Over ten years have gone by
And you're still mine,
We're locked in time
Let's rewind"

The only problem was, you're not still mine. The rest of the song could have been us too. It could have been our wedding song. But life wasn't fair to us.

Anyway, do you remember our first words to one another? Granted, we didn't lock our bikes together like in the song but it's the closet song I've come across for us.

It was by chance that one of my friends knew one of yours. It's like we were meant to be, the stars had aligned when our two friendship groups came together during a cold break time. We were sat on the bench outside of the P.E department when you all came walking over. There was 5 of you walking over but it's like the other 4 girls didn't exist. My heart raced as your beautiful emerald green eyes locked on to mine and in unison both too embarrassed to continue looking we looked away. I could tell you were as nervous as me.

We shared a smile when we were introduced. You were wearing a black puffa coat which looked to be keeping you nice and warm but you had your arms crossed in an attempt to keep yourself warm or was this your nervous go to action, in order to keep you feeling safe and secure in awkward moments?

I stood up and offered you my space on the bench. "Katie, have my seat. You look frozen." Your eyes sparkled but you politely declined my offer and said you were okay. You looked cute when you were nervous, but there was no need to be nervous. It was me.

One of your friends took the spot on the bench. Nicola. She was the one who brought our friendship groups together but she only done that for her own personal gain. She loved Danny and he knew it but wasn't interested, he only played along so we could forge a close bond. He was a true friend.

We were then stood beside one another, both awkwardly smiling at each other. Not wanting to speak just to be ridiculed by our friends who would no doubt try and force the issue but you knew that as much as I did. We were similar in so many ways. Both the leaders of our friendship groups but both nervous when outside of our comfort zone.

Our first meet would soon be cut short.

I'd noticed this boy sniffing around you from day one. You entertained his flirting and on occasions I could tell you were flirting back but it was okay, I had been here for a year without you so had built up my own flirty bonds with girls in my own year group. Bonds that I knew annoyed you over the years but there were times I had to move on without you because you continued to entertain him. I don't blame you though. I blame him for ruining what could have been.

"Come on, Katie. We're going to be late for class." I watched as he linked his arm into yours as he began to drag you away from the group. You didn't stop him though, did you? You allowed him to take you away.

You smiled an apology in my direction before you turned away with him on your arm. I knew you felt bad about what was happening but in turn I knew what he was doing too.

At that moment, I had found myself a new nemesis.

Ricky.

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